Life is Beautiful

The Serenity Prayer

2012-01-27T17:03:00.000-08:00

Perhaps you have heard of the Serenity Prayer that is so dear to the hearts of members of Alcoholics Anonymous and other twelve-step programs? Here is the best-known form:God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,Courage to change the things I can,And the wisdom to know the difference.This was written in the early 20th Century, by Karl Paul Reinhold Niebuhr, an American theologin of German descent. Bet you guessed that he was German by that name, right? lolHere is the prayer in German, which a German website claims is the original form of the prayer, which was later translated into English:Gott, gib mir die Gelassenheit, Dinge hinzunehmen, die ich nicht aendern kann,den Mut, Dinge zu aendern, die ich aendern kann,und die Weisheit, das eine vom anderen zu unterscheiden.There is some question of whether Reinhold Niebuhr actually wrote the Serenity Prayer. It appears that he did, but of course, the idea has has been expressed by others before. There is actually a Mother Goose rhyme (1695) expressing a similar sentiment:For every ailment under the sunThere is a remedy, or there is none;If there be one, try to find it;If there be none, never mind it.In everyone's life there are problems and situations that are not of our choosing, and not to our liking. Sometimes there is nothing to be done, and we have to accept no for an answer. But other times we don't have to take no for an answer. We don't have to take it lying down! If we have enough guts (courage) we can sometimes make our own choices, and expand our possibilities, even if our options remain severely limited.Sometimes hard work and daring can turn a flat refusal or seeming impossibility into a definite yes, or at least a possible maybe! But if not, well, best to let it go and focus our efforts on other more important things.Best Wishes,Jen :)

It Didn't Get Better For Them....

2012-01-19T11:31:00.000-08:00

In September of 2011, Jamey Rodemeyer, a 14-year-old Buffalo, New York junior high school student committed suicide. He had made a video for "It Gets Better," a project created to provide moral support for bullied gay teens.Just last week, yet another young person, Eric James Borge, who had also made a video for "It Gets Better," committed suicide, too.Perhaps making such a public announcement of their sexuality did not help their lives get better. Perhaps the videos the young men made led to more bullying, not less. Perhaps what alienated young people need is more privacy, more understanding. But this kind of support is not forthcoming from the adults who run "It Gets Better."I was recently reading a book by the late Dutch Catholic priest, Henri Nouwen, called "Turn My Mourning Into Dancing," and he had written about activism, and what a failure it is. (see pages 72-75 of the above book)Here he quotes another Catholic, Thomas Merton:

"Writes Merton, 'He who attempts to act and do things for others or for the world without deepening his own self-understanding, freedom, integrity, and capacity to love, will not have anything to give to others. He will communicate to them nothing but the contagion of his own obsessions, his aggressiveness, his ego-centered ambitions...his doctrinaire prejudices and ideas.'

And Father Nouwen went on to comment about Merton's above statement:

"Here lies the center of Merton's critique of our activism, the second way in which we try to manage others or love with conditions. We end up doing things for others for the sake of doing, for the sake of ourselves. This kind of activism gathers merit badges. It is motivated by guilt, by the feeling of being indebted, by the sense of having to earn righteousness or favor--from God or others. Activism ultimately places our own unmet longings at the center of our efforts. It therefore does not help others in a wholesome way."

Well, Amen to that, Brothers and Sisters! I think of the people who have tried to influence me, only to alienate me further. I am thinking particularly of one law professor I had who tried to mold me into her vision of an ideal Mexican-American woman. Well, that didn't work! I don't want any middle class white women telling me how I should vote, or that I should only date Hispanic men. Besides, my father's family was originally from Spain, and were descended from Marranos (Spanish Jews.) I was raised by my German/Dutch/Swiss mother, so I always wondered what that pushy law professor was talking about with her pro-Mexican agenda. I wish I'd had the guts at the time to tell her to buzz off! I actually learned Spanish in school, by the way. I am not a native speaker, despite my Spanish last name.Anyway, Father Nouwen goes on to write,

"Think about the people who have most influenced you. When I remember them I am always surprised to discover that these are people who did not try to influence me, who did not need my response. Instead they radiated a certain inner freedom. They made me asaware taht they were intouch swith more than themselves. They pointed to a reality greater than themselves from which and in whom their freedom grew. This centeredness, this inner freedom, this spiritual independence had a mysterious contagiousness."

What an insightful thing to write! There was actually a law professor whom I really liked who influenced me tremendously, though he wasn't trying to do so. His name was Jesse Dukeminier. He was a homosexual, and he was more feminine than the aggressive female law professors who strode around the halls purposefully in their Birkenstocks. He wasn't trying to be macho, or cool, or part of the same generation as his students. He wasn't trying to be something he was not. He had a nice life, an art collection, and he was a model for self-acceptance. God (and life itself) had made him what he was, and he accepted it. Every time I was in his presence, I felt somehow relieved. He had that mysterious contagiousness, what can I say? Professor Dukeminier is no longer with us, but I feel that he is still with us in spirit.I hope that all people who are alienated, unhappy, and struggling with their identity can meet more people who model self-acceptance (and acceptance of the way the world is) rather than being urged to try to aggressively (and futilely) change everyone and everything else. I am deeply sorry for young people like Jamey Rodemeyer and Eric James Borge who didn't live long enough to make better lives for themselves. People can go on and on about bigotry, and indeed it exists, but activism can be harmful, too. May these poor young suicides rest in peace of a kind they never found here on earth.Best Wishes,Jen :)

Litigation & the Aggressive Handshake

2011-12-21T15:34:00.000-08:00

I dislike litigation, which is, in part, why I became a consumer bankruptcy attorney. There is little conflict in my field.Still, as an attorney, sometimes I do have to go to court. It's almost never pleasant. I went last week, for example. The opposing party had told me, "My attorney is an ugly le*@$!n who can't wait to knock you down a peg!"I didn't really believe him. I was sure that his attorney would play fair and not be one of these women who will fight to the death in a status competition with another woman. After all, she seemed so congenial on her website. Let me tell you, folks, I was wrong. She grabbed my hand in a really aggressive handshake, and my hand is still very sore. She was as strong as a man! I bruise easily, and especially more so now that I am four months pregnant.And she wants me to cooperate with her? Uh, I don't feel so cooperative anymore. My hand just feels really sore. I am actually typing this with one hand.I found something on the Internet about aggressive handshakes, though. Apparently I'm not the only one to be injured by a hostile handshaker."Funny as it may sound, handshaking is a common source of people having sore hands," says Dr. Leon Benson, professor of orthopedic surgery at Northwestern University School of Medicine. "There are people, in the name of giving a strong handshake, who squeeze in a way that's pretty uncomfortable." He himself remembers having a sore hand for three days after an aggressive handshake.Well, there it is. Straight from the Internet. I think I'll skip the handshake with this aggressive broad next time around.Merry Christmas! I am looking forward to a few days rest for my sore hand.Best Wishes,Jen :)

Little Charles at School

2011-12-08T17:01:00.001-08:00

I can't believe my baby is growing up so soon. Next month, he'll be four years old, and he's already going to start kindergarten, on the day of his fourth birthday, no less. I had my doubts about moving him up to another grade so soon (most kids start kindergarten when they are five) but his teacher and the school administrator say he's ready. I guess I'll take their word for it.They were really nice about addressing my concerns--mainly, that Little Charles would turn into a precocious brat with intellectual pretentions. But they assured me that he would stay modest, and more interested in learning than bragging about how smart he is. My husband and I had noticed that he was quite sharp. I think he gets this from my husband. Not me! LOLBoth of our kids are so sweet. I feel so lucky to be their mom!Best Wishes,Jen :)

Our Hero

2011-12-05T16:22:00.001-08:00

Look at this sweet little boy! Joey, who is 19 months old, is our family's hero. He saved my little dog, Chacha, from drowning in the fish pond. Chacha is usually super careful around water, but she fell in one day last week and Joey, who was watching from the window, sounded the alarm. He called to his babysitter, "Reyna, Reyna, Chachi water!" Isn't that amazing? I mean, in Lassie, it was Lassie who saved Timmy when Timmy fell in the well, not the other way around!Anyway, Reyna ran outside to the pond and rescued Chacha. I was so proud of my little boy, and so happy that Chacha is still with the living. I love my kids (and my dogs!) so much.Best Wishes,Jen :)

Transgender Children

2011-11-29T12:22:00.001-08:00

I was reading on the Internet that Warren Beatty's daughter, Stephen Ira (in the process of transitioning from woman to gay man),has launched a cyber attack of sorts from his blog, Super Mattachine, on Cher's transgendered son, Chaz.It's not really worth reading. It's a childish, arrogant grab for attention. Stephen Ira thinks very highly of himself, though he has little real world experience to back up this self-assessment. In fact, in the "about the author part of the blog", Stephen states about himself, in third person, no less, "He believes there is nothing more radical than kindness."Perhaps Stephen is not such a radical after all, as his attack on Chaz is not unique to his blog--any person or institution who asserts his or her or its right to hold a different viewpoint is skewered with vulgar, negative, rebellious language. In reading it, I reaffirmed my commitment to my children to not spoil them in any way, either materially or otherwise. I will probably insist that as teenagers they each work for at least one summer in a minimum wage food service job. My husband and I did when we were teenagers--it taught us the value of the dollar like nothing else could. Interestingly, Warren Beatty and Cher dated each other for a while in the early sixties, when Cher was still a teenager. I was not surprised to read this. Warren Beatty has had an active social life, if I may say so politely. Both Cher and Mr. Beatty publicly portray themselves as extreme social liberals, but are they really? Perhaps when it comes to other people's children. Their own children are an exception to their social permissiveness--they have both reportedly had tremendous problems coping with their transgender children's sexual decisions. To be fair, most of us probably don't realize how conservative we really are until we have children.I hope my kids turn out to be humble, honrable, people, who live their lives and let others live theirs as they see fit. I love them so much. Very Truly Yours,Jennifer

Rapiña

2011-11-22T09:28:00.001-08:00

I watched a Mexican movie last night on Channel 22, called Rapiña, which means animal of prey. The German word for this is most descriptive--Raubtier. Anyway, the movie was very good. It was a story of two humble woodcutters who lived in a poor community in the Mexican mountains. When a plan crashes in the mountains where the men cut wood, which they strap to their burros, they discover that all of the passengers have died. They proceed to rob them before the authorities come to investigate the crash site.I don't want to give the story away, should anyone care to watch this movie, but the story unfolds slowly, showing what can happen when ambition turns to greed. The picture ends hauntingly with one of the men, Porfirio, walking across the desert with suitcases of the dead passengers in hand.The movie subtly presents the caste system in Mexico, in a way that is almost startling when you finally notice what the director is trying to show.The actors are very good. Particularly the one who played Ebodio, the more passive woodcutter. He literally didn't seem like an actor--he was his character, which should be the goal of any actor when he (or she) decides to accept a role. Unfortunately, that's not the case. Jack Nicholson always plays Jack Nicholson. Do you know what I mean? It is a disappointment, and one reason why I rarely go to the movies these days.While I normally don't watch much Mexican tv I used to while I was still learning Spanish. But I still do on occasion, if there is nothing appealing on my regular favorite channels. Anyway, it helps to watch Spanish language tve just for practice. I am not a native speaker! In any case, there is no need to spend a semester abroad (or the like) if you want to learn Spanish. Spanish speakers abound here in Los Angeles. Spanish language tv and newspapers are everywhere. Not to mention radio. I often used to listen to Spanish radio stations. I didn't particularly care for the music, but I wanted to learn Spanish, and this was an effective way to study.One of my young friends, Shannon, recently told me that I was the only person (American) she knew who actually really learned Spanish without serving a Mormon mission in a foreign country! Isn't that funny? But I suspect it's true. Most Americans don't really make the effort to really learn a foreign language. I encouraged her to do whatever it takes to keep learning Spanish--you can only come out the winner. There are sooo many Spanish speakers in the U.S. You will never have trouble finding a job if you are bilingual. I told Shannon to keep practicing and to take some Spanish classes when she goes back to BYU Idaho in January. I hope she does!Best Wishes,Jennifer :)

The Pie Hole Los Angeles

2011-11-18T15:03:00.001-08:00

I love the expression, "Shut your pie hole!" It has just the right amount of humor and hostility. However, I would never actually use that expression. Truly, I try to speak kindly to other people. Sometimes I fall short, but I do try, and usually succeed. :)Anyway, there is a new restaurant in the Arts District of Downtown that's called The Pie Hole Los Angeles. It is really, really good. I love pies of all kinds. I often make them at home, mostly fruit pies, and mostly using a purchased frozen pie crust from Trader Joe's. A homemade pie crust using cultured butter and whey is better, but it is time consuming to make. I am short on time these days. LOLToday my assistant Viriginia and I went to the Pie Hole for lunch. We each had a savory pot pie and followed by a dessert pie. They were both so good I wanted to cry. Virginia, who was skeptical, because she doesn't really like pie, felt the same way.It's reasonably priced, too.The Pie Hole Los Angeles714 Traction Ave.The Arts DistrictLos Angeles(213) 537-0115Tues. through Sunday, 11: a.m. until sold out. Closed Monday.Best Wishes,Jennifer :)

Christmas Shopping, Saving Money, Being Happy

2011-11-18T09:07:00.001-08:00

Black Friday is nearly upon us. It's time for many of us to start thinking about Christmas shopping. But, as a bankruptcy attorney, I have sort of a different perspective than many people. I don't believe in seeing Christmas as a huge, commercial extravaganza, simply because it's too expensive to do so. And, really, when you come right down to it, isn't Christmas supposed to be a celebration of family and of Christ's birth?We can be generous, kindly, and celebratory without spending a lot of money. Of course, if you have the money, I suppose there is nothing wrong with spending it. On the other hand, I often say that even though I have some money these days, I'm not gonna spend it foolishly!I asked my oldest boy, Little Charles, what he wanted for Christmas. I was so happy when he said he wanted me to knit him a pair of warm socks that he could sleep in. He's still only three, and he doesn't watch much television (to be influenced by the commercials, you know), so we haven't had to try to curb his materialism in any way. This weekend we're going to Joann's so he can decide for himself what yarn he wants.Other than that, I'll probably just get the boys small things, like new crayons and maybe I'll put together a little portable art set in a cigar box, so that when we go to the park or something they can randomly color or paint. It's so easy to make small children happy!Some years ago there was a series of books written by a Bessie and Sadie Delany, two sisters who were centenarians at the time. They were African American women who had come to New York City during the 1st World War from Jim Crow North Carolina. They were very practical, very willing to work, and very determined to get their educations. They were a dentist and a school teacher, respectively. They had none of the expectations that many of us have today--they were realists who faced life on life's terms. Anyway, in the book, one of them made the comment that she wasn't too proud to eat day old bread. The exact quote had more of a Southern flair, though. It was more like, "Honey, I ain't too proud to eat day old bread!" Well, when you put it like that, I ain't too proud, either! LOLI hope to show my kids that you can be very happy and have a waaay above average lifestyle without falling into the trap of materialism. We often buy things on Craigslist, use leftovers for cooking, and recycle our clothes. In one huge stroke of luck, I became friendly with the owner of an extremely expensive children's boutique, who has a son one year older than Little Charles. After talking to her, she agreed to sell me a lot of her son's clothes at a 75% discount. Keep in mind, these are super expensive designer children's clothes. I practically did a back flip when she agreed to this! People are generally nicer to your kids if they are well dressed. Sad, but true.Well, that's my pre-holiday shopping ramble. I hope everyone has a nice, safe, and reasonable holiday season without going into debt. I know that this is possible.Best Wishes,Jen :)

Mongolian BBQ

2011-11-09T13:34:00.000-08:00

I love Mongolian Barbecue, and there's a terrific little restaurant close to my work that serves it. It's called Gobi Mongolian BBQ House, and it's in Silverlake. It's quick, because you make up your plate yourself with fresh veggies, noodles and sauces. There is also a good selection of meat, which I usually don't eat. But I can tell you from occasional experience that the meat is very good! All you have to wait for is for the guys behind the grill to fry up your selections. I have very little time on my lunch hour, so I'm always on the lookout for something that's really good, but not too time-consuming.Waiters bring baskets full of delicious little sesame rolls and drinks to the table. I usually drink lemonade, but they have a large selection of alcoholic beverages and iced teas. The desserts are also good. I especially like the rice pudding.I usually eat there once per week. I believe in living large! LOLAddress:2827 W. Sunset Blvd.Los Angeles, CA 90026(213) 989-0711Hours: Sun.-Thurs. 11:30 a.m. to 10 p.m.Fri. & Sat. 11:30 a.m. to 11 p.m.Guten Apetit!Jen :)

Our New Bread Machine!

2011-11-08T10:11:00.000-08:00

Well, you can see this photo was not taken by a food stylist! LOL Anyway, I have always wanted a bread machine, but I never could justify buying one. You know, in terms of price and just basic clutter. But I found one on Craigslist for a very low price and decided to buy it. It didn't come with an instruction manual, but I was able to download that from the Internet. And here is the first loaf our bread machine has produced. Much better than anything you can find in the supermarket. My ultimate goal, though, is to be able to replicate a mixed wheat bread that I always bought in Germany and loved sooo much! I'm gonna practice every day until I get it right.Best Wishes,Jen :)

Conrad Murray Found Guilty

2011-11-07T13:44:00.000-08:00

I'm here at the office today, which is in Downtown LA, and there are helicopters buzzing around everywhere. All that noise makes me positively jittery!

Anyway, it seems that the jury has found Dr. Conrad Murray to be guilty of manslaughter. I am sure that Dr. Murray stepped away from the Hippocratic Oath to some extent, as he was basically employed by Michael Jackson as a drug provider.

If that sounds harsh, when famous or wealthy people say "personal physician" they usually mean "personal drug provider." It is true. There is a whole medical speciality that consists of giving performers (and others who can afford it) the drugs that they want, and in the case of Michael Jackson, the drugs he actually would need to be able to perform onstage again.

Interestingly, I once did some legal work for Osama Bin Laden's "personal physician" who admitted to me that he just provided Osama with drugs. He went everywhere with Osama, drug-filled syringe in hand.

But I do feel some pity for Dr. Murray. He will lose his freedom for some time due to this conviction, and he is sure to lose his medical license and, when he is sued by Mr. Jackson's estate, all of his money and property, too.

I can't help but be annoyed at Mr. Jackson who continuously acted in his own worst interests. He was one of a very few legitimately talented performers in the public eye, yet he did whatever he could to appear odd (literally and figuratively), which undoubtedly damaged his career. He surrounded himself with enablers, people who would never, under any circumstance, tell him to get his act together, lest they lose out on MJ's money and connections. He was a big spender, but not careful with his money, and died deeply in debt, abandoning his collection of exotic animals. And, quite possibly, he didn't provide a good plan for his children in the event that he died. They are being taken care of by his mother, an elderly woman, and his father, whom Michael blamed for all of his emotional problems.

I cringed when I heard one of the last recordings of a heavily drugged Michael Jackson talking about opening a children's hospital. Why are so many troubled people drawn to children? Opening a children's hospital is certainly a laudable goal, but MJ had other problems and responsibilities to attend to. While I'm not convinced that he physically molested any children, there is something untoward about a grown man having sleepovers with young boys who are not related to him. I believe that he was trying to relive his childhood, but he did so at the expense of his little "friend's."

Wall Street

2011-10-20T15:58:00.000-07:00

I'm a little nervous about all of this protesting. While I can understand that people are frustrated with our government and our economy, I suspect that those who organize the current Wall Street occupations etc. are not really revealing the whole truth about their ideology. Who knows? Here's an interesting article from the Wall Street Journal on this very subject.

September 16th. Mexican Independence Day

2011-09-16T15:58:00.000-07:00

Today is Mexican Independence Day. We often think of Cinco De Mayo as being Mexican Independence Day, but it's really not. It's actually a commemoration of some relatively obscure battle, and it's not really celebrated in Mexico.

But today's celebrations in Mexico are facing some problems, due to criminal activity and general lawlessness. The governor of Tamaulipas is pictured ushering in the festivities above, while a car bomb went off simultaneously a couple of miles away. Something even bigger (and worse) happened in Michoacan, causing them to cancel the whole show.

What follows is an article from the Boston Globe about 40 gunmen (probably from drug cartels) who put a damper on Michoacan's recent planned festivities.

I got this reference from the Fulano Forum, which is an invaluable resource for finding out little known facts about what's really going on in Mexico these days.

Anyway, today is a good day to think about improving your Spanish. And it's never too late! I am not a native speaker. I acutally didn't really learn Spanish until I was in my late teens. I was talking to one of my young friends yesterday and I advised her to do whatever she could to practice her Spanish. Mexico is very close...and despite controversy over illegal immigration, it's getting closer every day.

Best Wishes,

Jen :)

Casino Royale

2011-08-26T10:47:00.000-07:00

The term "Casino Royale" conjures up images of glamorous Europeans, doesn't it? However, since yesterday's terror attack on a casino in Monterrey, Mexico will never again equate "Casino Royale" with James Bond or anyone like that.

Instead, I will forever think of workaday Mexicans being burned to death and dying of smoke inhalation in a tawdry casino with the improbable name of "Casino Royale."

Drug cartels will often extort casinos and other businesses, threatening to attack them or burn them to the ground if they don't cooperate. Also, casinos and hotels have been known to launder money for the drug cartels. Maybe this casino was laundering money for a rival cartel. Who knows?

Yesterday afternoon 6-24 (depending on reports) armed assailants charged into the casino swearing and shouting for customers and employees to get out. Some got out in time, but others (53-plus people, mostly women) weren't so lucky.

Different versions of the attack state that either the armed gunmen doused the interior of the casino with accelerant before setting it on fire, or that they detonated some explosives, allegedly grenades obtained by the United States.

The death warrants of many people were signed by blocked emergency exits. Here in the States, we may dismiss the various departments of building and safety as being a waste of taxpayer money, but look what happens when building and safety codes are violated. People die.

Many terrified victims fled farther inside the casino to escape gunfire where they died trapped amid the flames and billowing smoke.

The first responders saved many lives by knocking down walls of the establishment. However, this attack happened during rush hour and the heavy traffic delayed rescue efforts.

Mexican President Felipe Calderon has declared three days of mourning for the victims of this terror attack. He angrily said that if Americans..."are resigned to consuming drugs, then they need to find alternatives...and establish clear points of access different from the border with Mexico, but this situation can't keep going on like this."

Well, I agree wholeheartedly with this assessment. It's just that I don't know how to stop all of the unethical behavior--the drug users whose demand for the drugs contributes to the violence, the horrible people who will do anything for a quick buck. Come on, amigos, serial killers won't do this kind of thing!

I humbly acknowledge that I can't control what other people do. But when I see these horrible tragedies I become even more committed to being a good person and being of service to others. I want to encourage my children to feel the same way--responsible and ethical and all of that. My oldest boy, Charlie, is almost ready to knit. I read something online about teaching kids to knit with their fingers. Maybe he can help me with a couple of scarves for the homeless this winter.

Best Wishes,

Jen :)

Jennifer's Best of L.A.--L.A. Express Car Wash

2011-08-25T10:41:00.000-07:00

My husband and kids and I live in a very dusty, semi-rural area of the Crescenta Valley. That makes for a dusty car! Fortunately, I have found a really good car wash with prices starting at $6.00 for a basic wash, and $29.99 for a monthly car wash pass. I have the latter...I need to get that car washed at least twice per week. They accept cash and credit cards. There is a friendly attendant to walk you through the process.

Free vacuum service is included with all washes, and I take my bottle of Ecover cleaner with me to wipe down the interior of the car after going through the wash.

This handy car wash is conveniently located at 2580 Glendale Blvd., Los Angeles, CA 90039.

It's a pretty good bargain to have as many car washes per month as you want for $29.99, and there are two vending machines with accessories to further clean your car or add some scented air freshener. We have to take care of our possessions--after all, I'm gonna drive that car (a 2008 Toyota) for at least another 10 years. I've gotta make my investment pay off!

Best Wishes,

Jen :)

Meet Granny!

2011-08-22T13:01:00.000-07:00

Here's my new dog, Granny. Isn't she beautiful? She is a rescued miniature pinscher. I've had her for just a few weeks. I named her Granny because I thought she was elderly, but the veterinarian says she's only 7-8 years old.

She was in pretty bad shape. She needed to have 6 teeth pulled, which leaves her with just enough teeth to eat her kibbles. And she has emphysema, so she's a bit wheezy. Her former human companion must have been a heavy smoker!

And her cataracts have left her partially blind. But she can still find her way around the house, and she sees well enough to go on walks. We put eye drops in her little eyes twice per day. It's a privilege to take care of our animal companions.

But she's very sweet, even to my children who have been known to be a bit persistent in wanting to pet her. We all love her. Even Chacha, our 14 yr. old rescue min pin, who is not particularly friendly with other dogs. Chacha has calmed down significantly now that she has another little dog her size. They sleep together in a sort of puppy pile at the foot of my bed.

Now our little family has three dogs--the two little min pins, plus a large Akita-
Shepherd mix named Cody. Were it not for my dear husband's restraining hand I'm sure I'd have many more dogs!

Best Wishes,

Jen :)

Is that a Foot?

2011-08-11T09:39:00.000-07:00

There is tremendous violence in Mexico these days, mostly because of the drug trade. But there are kidnappings (which have kind of become a cottage industry in Mexico) robberies, extortion and the like that have nothing to do with drugs. It's just all about money.

Click here for yet more disturbing pictures and an article from Borderland Beat about a recent mutilation. The victim was probably involved in drugs. But no one deserves to die like this.

It's hard to pin down who is ultimately responsible for all of this murder and mayhem. But I believe that those who use drugs have some responsiblity for the violence, too.

When I was 12 and 13 years old I used to ride horses at a show barn in Griffith Park. The glamorous adults who ran the show gave the impression of being squeaky clean. But, snoop that I was, I discovered that some of them were heavily involved in cocaine use. One of the men blamed his nervous shaking on hypoglycemia and I was so naive that I believed him. In the 70's and early 80's everyone and his pet parakeet had hypoglycemia. However, now, as an adult, I recognize that such nervous behavior was probably not related to blood sugar, but rather to a big pile of cocaine!

People who use illicit drugs, most of which come to California through Mexico, are in some way contributing to the violence. The people who die horrible deaths due to their drug running may be bad people themselves, but they all were once somebody's baby. They were real people. And the violence is real. It is not a cartoon or a video game. And drugs, and the people who use them, are not glamorous.

Best Wishes,

Jen :)

Recent Horse Show

2011-08-09T16:36:00.001-07:00

Here are some pictures of us at a recent horse show. Little Charles is quite the cowboy! In addition to his green 6th place ribbon, he won a 2nd place, a 4th place and an 8th place. These are not bad for a 3 1/2 yr. old. He was competing against much older kids. We're working our way up to the Fort Worth Stock Show, I'll tell ya!

Sparky is Charles' favorite little pony. He belongs to the horse trainer, Kathy, who is leading Charlie around the ring in one of the photos.

Best Wishes,

Jen :)

This Morning In Allende, Nuevo Leon

2011-08-04T13:34:00.000-07:00

I got this story from the Fulano Forum. The horror is just unimaginable.

Witnesses said no less than five cars of armed men pulled up on the bridge, took the two victims who were still alive and hung them by their feet. Then they took out the guns and killed them as they hung. Then one of the gunmen calmly took photos of the scene and they all drove off.

No hurry in Mexico.

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En este mundo traidor, nada es verdad ni es mentira; todo es según el color del cristal con que se mira.

Today, 08:50 PM Post: #2
Woooosh
3 Star CT Yankee

Posts: 119
Joined: Jul 2011

RE: This morning in Allende, Nuevo Leon
pretty soon they will be making mobiles out of them- the art of pinata hanging advances.

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Profile photo" "El Guero", 140 pounds of white Lab love. Be the man your dog thinks you are.

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Having Fun at the Beach

2011-08-02T16:28:00.000-07:00

Santa Monica Beach is crowded, expensive and just not my favorite place. But I took the boys there recently anyway. It was so crowded that when Little Charles and I returned from our walk along the shore, we actually had a hard time locating my mom, the boys' babysitter, Reyna, and Joey, my youngest boy.

We got there early--around 8:00 a.m., and within a couple of hours it seemed like half of Los Angeles had joined us.

Of course, since we were right next to the pier, we went for a ride on the expensive Ferris Wheel. And I bought the expensive picture.

But this is the last time I'm going to Santa Monica for quite a while! LOL

Knitting Loom

2011-07-19T15:09:00.000-07:00

One of my clients gave me this awesome knitting loom she got in Mexico. It's made by Estambres El Gato, a Mexican firm that specializes in reasonably priced yarn and knitting accessories, and even knitting magazines. And here I thought Vogue Knitting was my only option! LOL

Well, about the loom, I'm so excited about it! I plan to knit some cool scarves and hats for the homeless for this coming winter, and the loom will help this process along. Well, once I learn how to use it, that is! LOL

I ordered a book about loom knitting from the library and I'm hoping this will help me supplement the meager instruction page that the loom manufacturer enclosed. Unfortunately, I don't have much talent when it comes to doing artistic things, but even those of us who are "challenged" in this way can learn. My hand-knitted dog sweater for Chacha is almost finished.

Best Wishes,

Jen :)

Mucho Trafico

2011-07-19T09:28:00.000-07:00

Hey, Carmageddon is supposed to be over! But there is still a lot of traffic. I'm sure it's not related to the 405 freeway, though. There are just a lot of cars on the road. Every day I drive I see accident, but I've been lucky so far. I've never had an accident. I guess it pays to drive safely and slowly. But you never know when your number is up. We can control how we drive, but we can't control what other people are doing. Sometimes they are speeding while applying makeup, eating breakfast or even giving themselves a once-over with an electric razor.

There are no easy answers. I hate commuting! *weary sigh*

Be safe!

Best Wishes,

Jen :)

More Gone With The Wind Than Even Scarlett O'Hara....

2011-07-07T16:07:00.000-07:00

I appreciate the lure of Mexico and the Mexican culture. However, many Americans believe that the Mexico of Diego Rivera and Frieda Kahlo still exists. And that it's a safe place to live out your spring break fantasies. Or that you can retire there safely on your Social Security income, all the while enjoying Mexican food, seeing the Indian ruins, or whatever it is you like to do but never had time to do before you retired. But this Mexico doesn't really exist anymore, and travel to Mexico is not safe at this time. My brother knew about the violence in Mexico, but he thought it would be different for him. It wasn't. He was killed almost three months ago in Tijuana.*

I feel deeply sorry for those honorable workaday Mexicans who are stuck there. It is no wonder that so many thousands of Mexican people try to make their way north, risking their lives on rickety boats in the cold Pacific Ocean with no life jackets, or by dying of thirst in the desert, not to mention the high probability of being raped (men and women), beaten, tortured and/or murdered.

The following is a letter from some American expatriates who went to Mexico and met with very bad luck (and bad people). They forwarded it to www.Borderlandbeat.com, a website I highly recommend you check out. The photos (if you are brave enough to look at them) will show you just how bad things have gotten in Mexico. I try not to look, but like Lot's wife, I am constantly looking back. And the violence is real. The pictures are real. The severed heads shown next to the bodies they used to be attached to are the heads of real people, who lived as we live now. Decapitations and "peelings" are frequent occurences in Mexico. If you look at enough entries in this website, you will learn, as I did, what a "peeling" is.

Some would say that the Mexican tourist industry only exists to separate Americans from their greenbacks and Canadians from their loonies. Well, that's one thing. But travel to Mexico can separate your soul from your body. It happens all the time.

Read from Borderlandbeat here:

The following are the contents of a letter we received at Borderland Beat from a couple that until recently resided in the tourist destination of Ixtapa in the state of Guerrero, Mexico.

We have independently corroborated certain facts in the letter and believe the contents to be true.

Names and addresses have been deleted for obvious reasons.

I feel that you should be made aware of an incident that occurred early in the morning of May 9 2011 and about the treatment we received after.

My husband and I were sleeping at our home on Calle ____________ in Res. _________, Ixtapa. At about 2.30 AM I saw 3 men approaching from the back area of the house. We jumped out of bed and managed to keep them from entering the house for at least 5 minutes. We turned on the alarm in our car and during this whole time we were yelling Ayudar Ayudar as loudly as we could. The robbers were also screaming and yelling because they were not at first able to get in. The leader of the bad guys picked up a brick and threw it at our glass door, shattering the glass. They were then able to get inside by smashing all the glass out of the door. The entire time this was going on, our car alarm was still sounding off.

Once inside our house the robbers beat both my husband (very severely) and myself and also at one point in the battle they shot a gun at my husband but thankfully did not hit him. They then tore our house apart and found our bank and credit cards. After they held a gun to my head and saying they would kill my husband I gave them the passwords. The leader of the gang left to go to the bank to check that I gave them the right numbers. While he was gone the other 2 men were kicking us and hitting us and putting guns and knives in our faces. When their leader returned they loaded up our TV, computer, camera, jewelry, etc. into our Honda CRV and then the main gang leader raped me and stabbed my husband. They told us that if we called the police or made a report they would come back and cut off our heads. I believe them. They terrorized us for almost 3 hours. In that entire time nobody called the Police or came to help us even though we had made a lot of noise for at least the first 15 minutes and then there had also been a gunshot. There are veladors and security guards all around our neighborhood starting within 30 meters away.

We have already done our duty and reported the crime to the proper authorities even though we are very frightened.

But even more than the crime itself which you may already have heard about I think that you should know about the things that have happened to us afterwards.

First, we went to the guard house at Condominium ________. We asked the security guard there to please call the ambulance because my husband had lost a lot of blood and was still loosing more blood. The guard did not have a telephone number. Why is he not trained to call his company and ask for help. I then asked him to call us a taxi. He had to call twice before anyone came. We waited for 20 minutes as my husband was bleeding and throwing up and going into shock. Finally a very nice taxista came and picked us up and took us to the Naval Hospital. They would not admit us because I had been raped and they said they did not have the personnel there to deal with that. They told our taxi driver to take us to Zihuatanejo. I can not believe that a Hospital turned away a man that had been beaten and stabbed and needed immediate medical attention. He then took us to Red Cross where there was also no one there to help us so we then had to go to Hospital General. When we arrived there we saw homeless people and people sleeping on the sidewalk. They let us in and started to very slowly take care of my husband who at this time had been bleeding for 3 hours. The people in this place had no compassion or sympathy for our situation. I was crying and pleading with them to let me use a phone to call my friend Snra. _________ but they kept telling me I had to use the pay phone. I explained that I had just been robbed and raped and nearly killed and did not have any money. They still would not help me to call my friend. Finally, after 40 minutes, one of the nurses let me use her personal cel phone.

That Hospital is not a place that I wanted my husband to stay in. There were flies all over and no privacy for any of the patients. The staff seemed to have almost no interest in helping us there. They did take X rays and put in some stitches to stop the bleeding and also gave him some fluids intravenously and then we were able to take him away from there.

As bad as things were at the Hospital they only got worse in the next few days. We asked _______ to help us to report the crime and if possible, to keep it out of the papers because we were afraid but also because we know that news like this happening to gringos will do extreme damage to the economy here.

It took 2 and a half days to get our report so that we could then register to the PFP (Federal Preventive Police) that our car was stolen. By now the car could be in Guatamala !! Nobody tried tracking the criminals by using our cell phone even though we gave them the number and told them that the bad guys have been answering it. When the prosecutors came to our house they did not have any bags for collecting evidence but had to borrow some from me, one of the victims of the crime. We had told them that there would be fingerprints all over including on our refrigerator but nobody brought the equipment necessary to dust for them. No one has interviewed the security guard. He must have seen the car that they arrived in or seen them driving around our street just before the break in. We feel that we have done everything possible to help the authorities to find and then prosecute these criminals but nobody is doing anything to catch them.

My husband had been very badly injured and I had been terribly traumatized by what happened but the government departments just seemed to not care at all that they kept us waiting in office after office for hours at each time, day after day. And we are very dismayed that no one was even trying to catch the criminals or look for our stolen car for almost 3 days!

I have been coming to Mexico my entire life and coming to Ixtapa Zihuatanejo since 1982. My husband and I have been living here full time for 6 years, sharing this time between Michoacan and here. We have given good jobs and much work to many, many people in that time. I have told hundreds of people about what a nice destination this is. After this terrible experience we will be leaving Mexico forever and I could not possibly recommend anyone to visit here.

While at the American Consulate office where I went to get a new passport, I learned that there were 4 carjackings of American citizens THIS WEEK ALONE on the road near Troncones and Saladita. This type of news is going to kill the tourism that this area has come to depend on.

We have been very careful to keep all of this out of the papers and off the message board that the tourists read. I honestly don´t know why we should care so much for Zihuatanejo. Zihuatanejo does not care for us.

Regards,_____________ , _____________

Postscript:

I feel this story should be heard.

It made me so mad when I saw Calderon in Las Vegas saying that the only "shots" that the Spring Break tourists needed to be afraid of is tequila shots.

Mexico is trying to minimize (for obvious reasons) the impact that the violence is taking on their country and economy.

The ineptitude of some of the police and prosecutors is just appalling. You would not believe the way that we were treated in Zihuatanejo. And to be refused at 2 "hospitals" when my husband was bleeding from a stab wound and had his head split open. It was a nightmare that just went on and on.

A lot of people go to Mexico and things are fine until god forbid you get caught up in something like this.

My husband and I could not have been less likely to have something like this come our way. We stayed at home, treated everyone very fairly, know the ropes down there and never did anything at all that would have put us on the radar of these criminals.

We never stayed out late or had any involvement whatsoever with drugs or anyone that did drugs. Nada. If it could happen to us, it could happen to ANYONE.

*Just a side note--have you ever heard a journalist describe a robbery as having gone horribly wrong? This always means that someone died. But there's actually no such thing as a robbery going "right."

Casey Anthony "Not Guilty"

2011-07-05T15:54:00.000-07:00

Jennifer's Note: I'm more than a little surprised that the jury's verdict was one of "Not Guilty," as it seems likely that Casey Anthony did at least have something to do with her daughter, Caylee Anthony's, disappearance and death. However, she was found not guilty.

The prosecution thought they had it all wrapped up, and I saw video on tv of the prosecuter laughing. This is typical behavior of a government lawyer--they always think they are on the side of justice. But that's not always the case...sometimes they're just after a conviction with very little evidence to back up their charges. I don't blame Casey Anthony's attorney for getting so angry. He was fighting for his client's life, which hung in the balance. Florida, as we all know, is a death penalty state. And the prosecuter smirks thinking he's going to win! As he laughed, was his mind on justice for little Caylee Anthony? No, his mind was on winning his case and advancing his career. Sorry to sound so cynical, everyone, but I have seen a lot in my 16 years as an attorney. These government attorneys need to behave more appropriately. Perhaps his inappropriate laughter turned off the jury and led to this verdict. Will we ever know?

Also, former prosecuter Nancy Grace is apparently stunned. She's been hammering away on her show about "Tot Mom" since toddler Caylee Anthony went missing in 2008. This case has contributed significantly to Ms. Grace's ratings and probably to her bank account balance, too. Now Ms. Grace is worried that Caylee's death has gone "unavenged." I just don't know what to say. Oh, just one last thing...I believe with all my heart and soul that we will one day stand before God for what we have done (and failed to do) in this life.

Hope you find the following article informative.

Best Wishes,

Jen :)

Nancy Grace's coverage of murder trial leads to charges of 'media assassination'ArticleComments (40)Share.Casey Anthony case: Nancy Grace's coverage of murder trial leads to charges of 'media assassination'
BY Richard Huff
DAILY NEWS TV EDITOR

Tuesday, July 5th 2011, 5:42 PM

There was a moment Tuesday, shortly after the verdict was read in the Casey Anthony case, when her attorney J. Cheney Mason chastised the media and lawyers for participating in "media assassination" for three years.

If only he had mentioned HLN's Nancy Grace by name, he could have become a national hero to many TV viewers.

Grace, who was on the air when the verdict was read, embodies everything that's wrong with cable TV. She's combative, she rarely lets her colleagues get a word in edgewise - especially if they disagree with her - and all too often the telecast becomes more about her than the subject matter.

PHOTOS: An inside look at the Anthony case
Take for example poor Jane Velez Mitchell, Grace's colleague at HLN. Mitchell was at the courthouse in Orlando Tuesday and tried to make a point before being shut down by Grace.

Mitchell gave up.

"You are always right, Nancy," Mitchell said, bowing to the almighty Grace.

It was hard not to feel bad for Mitchell at that moment. And Mitchell is just one of the folks who get stomped on by TV's version of Godzilla.

Grace has the ability to make real life feel like a bad "Saturday Night Live" skit, and she did that again Tuesday in the run-up to the verdict.

Grace has made little Caylee Anthony her project since the child went missing three years ago. She's sometimes mentioned her own kids and has tugged on the heartstrings of parents in the audience, many of whom who could never imagine a parent hurting a child. Standing up for a child is worthy. The smarmy, self-serving style in which she does it is not.

She gave Casey the sinister "Tot Mom" handle and convicted her of killing her daughter from day one. Anthony, of course, was found not guilty Tuesday on the most serious charges, but was found guilty of lying to police.

"The state sits looking, frankly, shell-shocked," Grace said. "They can absolutely not believe Caylee's death has gone unavenged. ... The Tot Mom will be walking free."

If Grace had any awareness about what she was doing, she would have been shell-shocked, too.

Later, when she learned Anthony's legal team was celebrating the verdict, she said that was wrong because "Caylee is dead" and that her body had decomposed not far from the Anthony home.

"As the defense sits by and has their Champagne toast after that not-guilty [verdict], somewhere out there, the Devil is dancing tonight," Grace said.

Interestingly, the end of the trial comes just days after the 70th birthday of commercial TV in this country. The industry began in New York when the first two broadcasting licences were awarded to stations that would become WNBC/Ch. 4 and WCBS/ Ch. 2. Those stations were the start of where we are today in TV.
After the first night of programming, critics questioned the medium as one that could potentially exploit Americans, Paley Center curator Ron Simon noted in a blog.

As Daily Variety, the entertainment bible, noted the day after the first telecasts in 1941, "Practically all the sets in the New York area were picking up 525-line images on old sets adjusted to 441 lines. This cut down definition, but it was not engineering definition that was hard to bear. It was the low-grade showmanship."

Though it was 70 years ago, the same line could be used to describe Nancy Grace. Sure, her act gets ratings - but that doesn't make her behavior any more acceptable than someone getting away with murder.

rhuff@nydailynews.com
Share105 .EmailPrintYou may also be interested in:.From NYDailyNews.com

RECENT COMMENTS FROM DAILY NEWS READERS40 comments | See All Comments » To comment, Register or Log In
[Discussion guidelines] .ibhappe
5:33:33 PM
Jul 5, 2011
Nancy Grace is a disgrace!! (oops! I know my bad a horrid judgement, just like she does every time she opens her mouth) My faith in the judicial system and in the common sense of regular folks has been restored. See what can happen when our minds are not being trashed with all the media marketing that tells us how to think and feel. I am proud of those jurors, I am glad they were sequestered, good verdict based on the known facts.. No one knows what happened or didn't happen the state speculated that their assumptions were the truth, and Nancy grace has assaulted us with her fantastic assumptions for the last three years. Shut her the F up. I felt like it was a personal need for validation for a guilty verdict to come in that motivates her, maybe she will stop talking up so much bull now...not. no such luck folks protect yourself turn her show off.

Report Offensive Post.canamgirl
5:35:10 PM
Jul 5, 2011
Money and ratings drives NANCY DISGRACE.

Report Offensive Post.ibhappe
5:35:12 PM
Jul 5, 2011
Nancy Grace is a disgrace!! (oops! I know my bad a horrid judgement, just like she does every time she opens her mouth) My faith in the judicial system and in the common sense of regular folks has been restored. See what can happen when our minds are not being trashed with all the media marketing that tells us how to think and feel. I am proud of those jurors, I am glad they were sequestered, good verdict based on the known facts.. No one knows what happened or didn't happen the state speculated that their assumptions were the truth, and Nancy grace has assaulted us with her fantastic assumptions for the last three years. Shut her the F up. I felt like it was a personal need for validation for a guilty verdict to come in that motivates her, maybe she will stop talking up so much bull now...not. no such luck folks protect yourself turn her show off.

Report Offensive Post.shell0724
5:35:24 PM
Jul 5, 2011
Nancy Grace didn't kill Caylee Marie and throw her helpless body in a swamp like trash. The fact that the flaws in the government case allowed for jury nullification doesn't diminish the hunger for justice many of us have in some cases like this one. One positive note is that high profile cases will not be seen to be as insurmountable due to those like Nancy Grace, since, some of our most high profile cases have ended in acquittals: OJ, Michael Jackson, Robert Blake, and now Tot Mom. Runaway jury. Casey will be independently wealthy from this case, and will most likely write in and star in the tragic account of her life being raped by her father and brother, then falsely accused. What a world. She's the new bad girl we love, like Lindsay. All she needs now is a sex tape.

Report Offensive Post.luis584
5:35:38 PM
Jul 5, 2011
joelthomas: It is not who else did it. It is that the defense was able to raise enough of a reasonable doubt to convict her. The prosecution failed miserably to prove their case without a shadow of a doubt.

Report Offensive Post.ibhappe
5:36:29 PM
Jul 5, 2011
Nancy Grace is a disgrace!! (oops! I know my bad a horrid judgement, just like she does every time she opens her mouth) My faith in the judicial system and in the common sense of regular folks has been restored. See what can happen when our minds are not being trashed with all the media marketing that tells us how to think and feel. I am proud of those jurors, I am glad they were sequestered, good verdict based on the known facts.. No one knows what happened or didn't happen the state speculated that their assumptions were the truth, and Nancy grace has assaulted us with her fantastic assumptions for the last three years. Shut her the F up. I felt like it was a personal need for validation for a guilty verdict to come in that motivates her, maybe she will stop talking up so much bull now...not. no such luck folks protect yourself turn her show off.

Report Offensive Post.republicanblack
5:39:17 PM
Jul 5, 2011
Look we can't be mad at the jury the prosecution did not do their job, check out this video explaining why http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FsKtn7Y3zoo

Report Offensive Post.WhoopTeeDo
5:44:09 PM
Jul 5, 2011
mg925 - You say you admire NG for "being a champion for Caylee" but all she's been is VERY DRAMATIC about Nancy, convicting someone before a trial and in the end losing a great deal of credibility within what used to be HER PROFESSION -- PROSECUTION [perhaps that's why she's not doing it any more]. As for NG's looks, I think they're as cold and ugly as her instincts.

Report Offensive Post.jmuzz
5:46:05 PM
Jul 5, 2011
Let,s hope she gets her tubes tied.

Report Offensive Post.steveiny
5:46:27 PM
Jul 5, 2011
I cannot stand this ugly,big eyed lizard face.

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Multitasking Circus

2011-07-03T22:33:00.000-07:00

This past weekend was so hot that even the air conditioning at home didn't really help. But still, determined family that we are, we ventured out into the heat to see the Las Vegas-based Ramos Brothers Circus. It was hot outside, and it was hot in the circus tent. But we really enjoyed the show! Live entertainment is so wonderful and special, especially in comparison to computer games and television.

The Ramoses are a five-generation circus family, known for their trapeze act, which they didn't actually perform at our show. Nevertheless, they did a lot of other interesting acts, one which included a juggler, another with a magician, an act dedicated to horses, a zebra, llamas, ponies and a camel. Of course, there was also a dog act, which was the cutest thing!

There was also a motorcycle stunt that really scared me, but my children loved it. Little Charles, who is three years old, got so excited with the motorcycles that he jumped off my lap, thrust his hands in the air and yelled "Yeah!" I thought, "No! I can't deal with all of this macho stuff! And he's only three! This is only going to get worse..." But hey, we have to accept our children for whom they are, right? LOL

What I really, really liked about the circus was seeing all the performers and staff multitask. Five minutes before showtime there were about ten people in barker costumes selling everything from light sabers, balloons, popcorn, etc. But then the ringmaster announced that the show was about to start. The barkers disappeared. And two minutes later, these same barkers came out from behind the curtain dressed in elaborate circus costumes. That Ramos family can really multitask! The dog trainer sold hot dogs. The magician's assistant took and sold souvenir photos. It was amazing and inspiring. They pulled it off like real pros, no one dropping a ball, or even sweating, despite the intense heat.

The performers all seemed to be related. During intermission, I went up to a pretty teen aged girl who was part of the staff (she was holding a miniature horse for photos with children. I bought one with Little Charles. It was $15.00) if they were all a family. And she said, proudly, yes, they were all related with a few exceptions. It was nice to see generations of the same family working together so harmoniously.

If the Ramos family is in your area, you might want to go and see them.

Best Wishes,

Jen :)

Pretty Brunette Found Dead in Building's Ventilation Duct

2011-06-29T16:25:00.000-07:00

A missing Texas woman has been found dead inside a building's ventilation duct a month after going missing. Investigators believe that Jamie Minor, a pretty brunette with a history of some mental issues, climbed into the ventilation duct on the third floor of a parking garage connected to Perry's Steakhouse in an attempt to meet a friend who worked there.

Earlier that day, Ms. Minor had been fired from her job as a hostess at Trace restaurant after her employer stated she was acting erratically. The employer called for someone to pick up his former employee (apparently concerned about her well being) but when the designated driver arrived, Ms. Minor had already left, and walked the five blocks to Perry's Steakhouse.

Video surveillance shows Minor trying two different doors to the establishment, but they were locked. Apparently she then tried to gain entry into the restaurant via the ventilation duct. She was trapped and died a horrible death. No one could hear her. And she apparently didn't have a cell phone with her to call for help.

I'm so sorry for her. This must have just been a horrible way to go, slowly, alone in the dark.

People often make jokes about mental illness, and indeed, when I saw the articles on Ms. Minor, there were a lot of unfunny jokes about her "getting the shaft" and cruel jabs at her poor mental state. But mental health is important for everyone. Are any of us so mentally stable that we can say we'd never ever in a million years do anything crazy? Are impulsive people like Ms. Minor and that crazy astronaut from a couple of years ago so far apart from the rest of us? I don't think so. I once saw a high court official go completely nuts. A number of other attorneys saw it too. It was shocking. And you know what? It made me reevaluate my own mental stability and make a commitment to being a calmer, gentler less judgmental person.

We can all try to make good decisions and remain calm every day. I hope to show my children a good example of emotional stability that will help them navigate the storms of life.

Best Wishes,

Jen

I Shall Continue to Speak.... (Taken from the Internet)

2011-06-27T09:23:00.000-07:00

By GEERT WILDERS
I was tried for a thought crime despite being an elected politician and the leader of the third-largest party in the Dutch parliament

Yesterday was a beautiful day for freedom of speech in the Netherlands. An Amsterdam court acquitted me of all charges of hate speech after a legal ordeal that lasted almost two years. The Dutch people learned that political debate has not been stifled in their country. They learned they are still allowed to speak critically about Islam, and that resistance against Islamization is not a crime.

I was brought to trial despite being an elected politician and the leader of the third-largest party in the Dutch parliament. I was not prosecuted for anything I did, but for what I said. My view on Islam is that it is not so much a religion as a totalitarian political ideology with religious elements. While there are many moderate Muslims, Islam's political ideology is radical and has global ambitions. I expressed these views in newspaper interviews, op-ed articles, and in my 2008 documentary, "Fitna."

I was dragged to court by leftist and Islamic organizations that were bent not only on silencing me but on stifling public debate. My accusers claimed that I deliberately "insulted" and "incited discrimination and hatred" against Muslims. The Dutch penal code states in its articles 137c and 137d that anyone who either "publicly, verbally or in writing or image, deliberately expresses himself in any way that incites hatred against a group of people" or "in any way that insults a group of people because of their race, their religion or belief, their hetero- or homosexual inclination or their physical, psychological or mental handicap, will be punished."

I was dragged to court for statements that I made as a politician and which were meant to stimulate public debate in a country where public debate has stagnated for decades. Dutch political parties see themselves as guardians of a sterile status quo. I want our problems to be discussed. I believe that politicians have a public trust to further debates about important issues. I firmly believe that every public debate holds the prospect of enlightenment.

My views represent those of a growing number of Dutch voters, who have flocked to the Party for Freedom, or PVV. The PVV is the fastest-growing party in the country, expanding from one seat in the 150-seat House of Representatives in 2004, to nine seats in 2006 and 24 seats in 2010. My party's views, however, are so uncommon in the Netherlands that they are considered blasphemous by powerful elites who fear and resent discussion.

That's why I was taken to court, even though the public prosecutor saw no reason to prosecute me. "Freedom of expression fulfills an essential role in public debate in a democratic society," the prosecutors repeatedly said during my trial. "That comments are hurtful and offensive for a large number of Muslims does not mean that they are punishable."

The Netherlands is one of the few countries in the world where a court can force the public prosecutor to prosecute someone. In January 2009, three judges of the Amsterdam Appeals Court ordered my prosecution in a politically motivated verdict that focused on the content of the case. They implied that I was guilty. The case was subsequently referred to the Amsterdam Court of First Instance.

The judges who acquitted me yesterday already had a peremptory ruling from the appeals court on their desk. They decided, however, to follow the arguments of the public prosecutor, who during the trial had once again reiterated his position and had asked for a full acquittal.

Though I am obviously relieved by yesterday's decision, my thoughts go to people such as Danish journalist Lars Hedegaard, Austrian human rights activist Elisabeth Sabaditsch-Wolff and others who have recently been convicted for criticizing Islam. They have not been as fortunate. In far too many Western countries, it is still impossible to have a debate about the nature of Islam.

The biggest threat to our democracies is not political debate, nor is it public dissent. As the American judge Learned Hand once said in a speech: "That community is already in the process of dissolution . . . where faith in the eventual supremacy of reason has become so timid that we dare not enter our convictions in the open lists to win or lose." It has been a tenet in European and American thinking that men are only free when they respect each other's freedom. If the courts can no longer guarantee this, then surely a community is in the process of dissolution.

Legislation such as articles 137c and 137d of the Dutch Penal Code disgraces our democratic free societies. On the basis of such legislation, I was prevented from representing my million-and-a-half voters in parliament because I had to be in the courtroom for several days, sometimes up to three days per week, during the past year and a half. Such legislation should be abolished. It should be abolished in all Western countries where it exists—and replaced by First Amendment clauses.

Citizens should never allow themselves to be silenced. I have spoken, I speak and I shall continue to speak.

Mr. Wilders is a member of the Dutch Parliament and the leader of the Party for Freedom.

_______________________________________________

Brazilian Girls Kill Boy With Poison Cookies Meant for Rival....

2011-06-20T15:39:00.000-07:00

Boy Dies After Eating Poisoned Cookies Meant for Someone Else
By WTTG

Published June 16, 2011
| Fox News Latino

PrintEmailShareCommentsTweet

RECIFE, Brazil – A 12-year-old boy died after eating cookies poisoned by two girls at his school in northeastern Brazil, police said Tuesday.

The girls, aged 13 and 14, admitted putting a deadly dose of rat poison in the cookies, but claimed they were meant for two rival girls at their school on the outskirts of the city of Recife, said investigating officer Mariana Villas Boas.

The boy, who was called to deliver the toxic cookies to allay suspicions, was not aware of the plan and ate them instead, with deadly result. He was taken to hospital in agony and died shortly afterwards.

"The boy died last Thursday after eating the poisoned biscuits," Villas Boas said.

An autopsy revealed the poison and police contacted by doctors tracked the boy's movements back to the two girls.

They were not being detained, but were "responding to a special police procedure that will later be sent to the prosecutor," the policewoman said.

For more, go to myfoxdc.com

Jennifer's Note: It's hard to believe these girls could do something so evil. On the other hand, junior high school and middle school aged children are often brutal with one another. Many seem to be lacking in empathy. I remember one poignant example from my own junior high days. Gina (fake name) was a friend of mine who was dying to get into the popular crowd, but because she wasn't really cute enough to compete with her looks, and didn't come from a wealthy family, no amount of groveling she did worked. So she changed tactics and became mean.

Her big chance came when she found out that one of the other girls, Manuela (fake name) had lied about something stupid. Gina discovered Manuela's lie and took off running like it was a baseball that flew into the stands during a televised game. Manuela's resulting misery was very upsetting to me. I was glad that I was not on the receiving end of Gina's ambitious evil doings. Believe me, I never talked to Gina again. Hey, I guess in some way, junior high never ended for me, either!

I hope I can remain involved enough in my children's lives to hear about what is happening in their respective peer groups. Hopefully I can help them identify with the sufferings of other children in the hopes of keeping them nice, sweet little men.

Being popular in school is largely about being mean to other kids. It's not worth it. It's better to be a student among students then to go around poisoning rivals, real or imagined.

Best Wishes,

Jen

Did This Man Forget His Bicycling Shorts?

2011-06-14T15:07:00.001-07:00

It kind of looks like this guy forgot his bicycling shorts, but actually, he is riding his bike in a pacifist protest of sorts. On Saturday the World Naked Bike Ride held an event in Mexico City. It was called "Desnudos si nos ves" (naked yes you see us). I read about this fascinating event on http://fulanofiles.blogspot.com.

Here are the goals of the bike ride, taken directly from the http://wnbrmexico.blogspot.com:

-CUESTIONAR LA EXCESIVA DEPENDENCIA DE COMBUSTIBLES FÓSILES
-RESPETO AL CICLISTA Y AL PEATÓN, ¡DESNUDOS ANTE EL TRÁFICO!
-PROMOVER EL USO DE TRANSPORTES DE LOCOMOCIÓN HUMANA, MÁS EJERCICIO = MEJOR SALUD.
-ENALTECER TU FUERZA E INDIVIDUALIDAD CORPORAL

Oh, that's right. They're in Spanish. (LOL) Let me translate!

-To question the excessive dependence on fossil fuels
-To respect the cyclist and the pedestrian. Nude in front of traffic!
-Promote the use of transportation using human locomotion--more exercise = better health
-Raise your bodily strength and individuality.

I approve wholeheartedly of all these goals. But I don't care for the public nudity. Therefore, even if I had been in Mexico City on Saturday, I wouldn't have been able to participate in this bike ride.

But I hope that cycling becomes a more accepted and frequent mode of transportation, not only in Mexico, but around the world. I would bicycle more, but it is too dangerous here in Los Angeles. I once met a woman (in L.A.) who had been riding her bike and was sideswiped then dragged by a car for several blocks. She ended up having to have a colostomy. We are a long way from Los Angeles becoming more like Amsterdam in terms of bike-friendliness.

At least the Los Angeles of today is more pedestrian-friendly than it used to be. In my childhood almost no one walked to work or anywhere else, really. There was even a song that "Nobody Walks in L.A." But I always did, and I never felt like a nobody! LOL

Best Wishes,

Jen :)

They Shoot Horses, Don't They?

2011-06-10T09:36:00.000-07:00

Jack Kevorkian recently died, naturally and peacefully in his bed last week at the age of 83, with music playing at his side. Despite his declining health, he never accepted the assisted suicide help he offered (and advocated) to so many other people.

In life he was known to paint expressive, gruesome death scenes like the one pictured. He even went so far as to mix human blood (hopefully his own!) into his paints. I believe that these blood-smeared paintings give us a glimpse into the late doctor's bleak emotional landscape.

In fact, Dr. Kevorkian saw little value in human life at all. This is no exaggeration---when he was asked by Dr. Sanjay Gupta on CNN what the worst moment of his life was, he said, "The moment I was born."

Therefore, I believe that Dr. Kevorkian's worldview was not motivated by his sorrow for those for whom death offered the only respite. In fact, in his 1991 book, Prescription Medicine, he argued that the Jonestown victims of Jim Jones should have had some medical help for a "more serene death in an orderly clinical setting." As if medicalizing that Kool-Aid mass murder would have somehow made it better!

But I'm really worried about Kevorkian's easy-come easy-go philosophy about prematurely ending the lives of those who allegedly have a diminished quality of live.

In the Netherlands, a doctor can make a judgment about the patient's quality of life and if the patients quality of life does not measure up to his physician's standards, well, the physician can hasten the patient's demise. And there is no formal standard for the quality of life. I can just imagine a physician giving someone a lethal injection because he doesn't want to have another unsatisfactory patient on his hands.

What's next for society? I have a client with a Down's syndrome baby. People stop her on the street regularly and ask her why she didn't terminate her pregnancy. Well, because that's murder, she answers. And who's to say that people with lower intelligence (one of the signs of Down's syndrome) makes for a much lower quality of life? What about less attractive people? Are they less valuable? I think that life in general has value. I feel happy and lucky to be alive. Each day is a gift of sorts, even though I don't always feel that I asked to be here.

Best Wishes,

Jen :)

Endure to the End

2011-05-24T16:40:00.001-07:00

There were billboards all over the city, indicating that the world would end on May 21st. My husband and I kissed at the appointed hour it was supposed to happen--6:00 p.m. We would have included our children in our embrace, but they were already sleeping. But I guess the world didn't end because we are still here, three days later!

The people who sold their homes and quit their jobs in the expectation that the world would end on Saturday are now faced with picking up the pieces of their interrupted lives.

People have been predicting the end of the world since the beginning of time, it seems. All sorts of people have predicted specific dates and signs of the world coming to an end. Louis Farrakhan predicted the end of the world during the Gulf War. But the world didn't end then. Indeed, there have been several other wars since Mr. Farrakhan's prediction. (click here for a list of predictions)While we may be living in the latter days, I often think of what Charles Schultz, creator of the Peanuts comic strip once said--"Don't worry about the world coming to and end tomorrow. It's already tomorrow in Australia."

Best Wishes,

Jen :)

Enjoy 5 de Mayo and Improve Your Spanish!

2011-05-05T13:38:00.000-07:00

Okay, it's Cinco de Mayo. (It's also my dear mother's birthday.) Many Americans believe that Cinco de Mayo is Mexican Independence Day, but it's actually a little-celebrated holiday in Mexico that commemorates the victory of the Mexicans over the French in Puebla. Cinco de Mayo is only really celebrated in the U.S. and hardly at all in Mexico, except perhaps in Puebla, where the battle took place, and in other parts of Mexico by Americans who are on vacation or living there as ex-pats.

But there are a lot of Mexicans (and other Latins) in the U.S. They don't appear to be going home anytime soon. Perhaps today would be a good day to work on our Spanish. I work on my Spanish every day since most of my clients are Spanish speakers. I am not a native speaker, though. It took some effort to learn, but nowadays my Spanish is quite good. Yours can be too! Nowadays most native speakers can't even peg me as a gringo--you can take your Spanish beyond ordering a taco salad or a cerveza. Don't take no for an answer. Practice every day. Watch Canal 34 instead of Fox News. Listen to the Mexican radio on your way to and from work. Whatever it takes...

Here's an excerpt from someone else's blog, http://fulanofiles.blogspot.com/2011_01_16_archive.html. Fulano (means "John Doe" in Spanish) is a talented guy. I love what he wrote. Hope he doesn't mind that I borrowed it here!

Factoid: Spanish is the second most natively spoken language in the world, after Mandarin Chinese. English is third.

Spanish and English share many of the same root words due to the fact that Spanish is a Latin based language and English borrowed heavily from Latin and French in its earlier days. Words that are the same in two languages or very similar are called cognates. A quick way to improve your Spanish grammar is to learn the cognates, as you already know what they mean. The following words have identical spellings and meanings in Spanish and English, however the pronunciation is different.

abdomen
actor
animal
auto
base
canal
chocolate
color
conductor
data
director
doctor
error
flexible
gratis
habitual
horrible
hospital
hotel
idea
ideal
invisible
media
monitor
motel
municipal
no
piano
principal
radio
similar
social
taxi
televisión
terrible

There are also false cognates. Words that have identical spellings, but different meanings.

real = royal
familiar = family
propaganda = advertising

Other cognates are spelled similarly to English, so they are instantly recognizable and have the same meaning. There are thousands of such words, such as:

abandon - abandonar
absolute - absoluto
absorb - absorber
abundance- abundancia
abundant - abundante
accelerate-acelerar
accent- acento
decline - declinar
decorate - decorar
dedicate - dedicar
defect - defecto
false- falso
native - nativo
telephone - teléfono
tolerance- tolerancia
tone - tono

There are also similarly spelled cognates which have very different meanings:

billón = trillion
complexión = physical build, not skin color
compromiso = promise or obligation, not a compromise
contestar = answer, not contest
decepcionar = disappoint, not deceive
embarazada = pregnant, not embarassed
preservativo = condom
recordar = to remember, not record
sopa = soup, not soap
tuna = edible cactus. The fish is atún.

Daniel's Funeral

2011-05-04T13:25:00.000-07:00

Daniel's funeral will be held on Friday, May 6th at 10:00 a.m. at St. Basil's
Cath-
olic
Church in Koreatown. The church address is 637 S. Kingsley Drive, Los Angeles, CA 90005. They can be contacted at www.stbasilchurch-la.org or by telephone at (213) 381-6191.

Pictured is a photo of Daniel at 12 yrs. old (and me in the background, age 13) meeting the captain on a cruise to Mexico. Where else, folks, where else? I have such vivid memories of that vacation. Mostly about how poor the Mexican people were in comparison to us privileged travelers. Some of the American travelers would throw coins into the water where the boat was docked in order to see the little Mexican children dive for them. The memory haunts me to this day.

Best Wishes,

Jen

Osama is Dead

2011-05-02T15:52:00.000-07:00

It hardly seems like it could be true after so many years, but Osama really is dead. To bad they couldn't just have apprehended him. I abhor violence. Click here (at your own risk) for a link to another blog--more info. plus gory pictures.

Jen

Moving Forward....

2011-04-27T14:35:00.000-07:00

My younger brother's body was shipped to us from Tijuana today. It is not in good shape. Needless to say, this is a very difficult time for us.

To cheer me up, my husband bought me something I've been wanting for a while. It's pictured right here...it's an El Cheapo Pilates reformer from Wal Mart. I go to Pilates lessons on Tuesdays and Thursdays, and I thought it might be nice to have my own reformer at home. If you have "problem areas" a reformer will whip you into shape. Yes, it's true! You just have to have the self-discipline to exercise when you might rather be doing something else. And no, I don't hang my clothes on my treadmill. I use it to walk on! LOL

On the other hand, there is really no way to cheer up the relative of a murder victim. The only thing that can help is time plus moving forward with life.

And folks, don't go to Tijuana. Not to get your dental work done or anything else. Just don't go. Don't go on a Disney cruise to Mexico. Don't entertain fantasies about Margaritaville. There are other destinations where you are less likely to meet with a violent death. I love Mexican food, and Mexican art. Most of my clients are from Mexico. But their country is in such upheaval that it's actually incomprehensible to me. There is a terrific blog about Mexico's violence called the Fulano Files. I wish my brother had checked it out before he took the train from San Diego to be murdered in Tijuana.

There are numerous details to wrap up. My brother had two English Mastiffs who now need a home. I would take them myself, but I already have two dogs plus two small children. His cases (he was a practicing lawyer) have to be dealt with. His car (left in San Diego) has yet to be found. I now have to make living arrangements for my mother, who lived with him.

Sad. Very sad.

Best Wishes,

Jen

More Disappointing Zoo Pictures

2011-04-26T14:24:00.000-07:00

Okay, these zoo photos are not so great. But did that stop me from buying them? Noooo! I can't stop myself from buying these souvenir pictures. Though they're not beautiful, well, I just can't say no to pictures of my kids. And aren't these outfits cute? They make the boys look like little English poetry professors circa 1980! LOL

Life has it's disappointments, but as long as I have my pictures I think I can cope.

Best Wishes,

Jen :)

Chacha's Major Surgery

2011-04-21T16:10:00.000-07:00

Yucky, isn't it? Chacha, my little rescue min pin, had a tiny bump on her chest. I first noticed it on Sunday, and I thought it was just a mosquito bite or something, since it was so small, and it had appeared so suddenly. However, it seemed a bit hard for a mosquito bite, and I couldn't find an actual wound. So I was suspicious...

On Tuesday morning I took her to a local pet grooming for non-anesthetic dental cleaning, and I asked the consulting vet to look at her "mosquito bite." The vet told me that it was a tumor that had to be removed immediately, but that it was probably not cancerous. However, I knew when she said that it was a tumor that it was cancerous. Nothing that grows that fast could be anything but malignant. Curiously, in the German language, a malignant cancer is called "boese," which also means evil or mean or bad. Well, this tumor was definitely up to no good, I was sure of it.

And, of course, later that Tuesday I received notice that my brother had not come back from his weekend trip to Tijuana. I knew immediately that he was dead.

And now my dog had a tumor. I had it removed on Wednesday morning, and the doctor said he thought it was cancer, but he thought he removed it all. We'll know for sure when the lab results come back in a few days. Apparently they can tell if they got all the cancerous tissue by looking at the margins of the tumors.

How do we "endure to the end" when bad things happen so frequently and so unfairly? I'm not sure, but I'm taking it one day at a time.

Best Wishes,

Jen :)

Death in Tijuana

2011-04-19T17:17:00.000-07:00

My younger brother, Daniel, had gone to Tijuana for the weekend. Everyone was worried when he didn't show up for work on Monday. An aunt contacted the morgue today, and he was there, dead, having allegedly fallen down and hit his head and died from the injury. However, I think it is much more likely that he was "rolled" and died by someone hitting him in the back of the head.

This is a very sad day for our family. My brother was only 37. I never would have guessed that his life would end in Tijuana, which, despite being so close to us, is such a foreign and dangerous place.

People regularly disappear there, though it's not politically correct to say this. My late father knew a family of four daughters from Tijuana, one of whom just disappeared off the streets one day while she was walking home from school. He was good friends with the two older daughters, Herlinda and Dalia, and he talked about this kidnapping so often during my childhood, that not a day has passed that I haven't thought of this lost sister. This tale inspired me to be very cautious. I too, often wonder what happened to Herlinda and Dalia's sister.

So when I got an e-mail today from a family member, stating that Daniel had gone to Tijuana on Saturday and hadn't returned, I knew he was no longer with the living. My mother said she knew right away, too. We talked and consoled each other. She really loved him so much.

I will not be visiting Tijuana any time soon. My brother's body will be shipped back to Los Angeles and his funeral will be held soon. There is no way to find out what really happened, who might have killed him or exactly why. I guess it's not for me to know. And you know, sometimes it's better not to know.

Best Wishes,

Jen

2011-04-17T21:29:00.000-07:00

This looks like a really good reference book for a Southern California hiker with an interest in botany. I think I'm gonna order it online! Every Sunday morning my oldest boy, Little Charles, and I go out on the trails for a horseback ride with Kathy, a neighboring horse trainer. We usually ride for two to three hours. I can't believe my three year old has become such a cowboy! And his feet don't even reach the stirrups yet.

Anyway, one of the highlights of our rides is seeing the plants. They are so beautiful, and everything seems to be in bloom now that it's spring. I wish I could identify more plants, and I'm determined to study up and learn the names of the beautiful plants we see every weekend.

We also are learning to identify animal tracks. Mostly deer, rabbit and coyote, but sometimes we can see the tracks of where a snake had been slithering. It's a small dose of nature, but somehow it expands one's worldview.

Sometimes we actually see deer and coyotes. Once we even saw a bobcat. And little brown rabbits are everywhere this spring. They are so cute! I just love them. If I had more time I'd be out on the trails every single day, with my children in tow. As it is, my husband (current early-morning walking partner) and I are so tired and bleary-eyed in the early mornings when we walk that we barely notice nature. Besides, it's usually dark when we're out, so there's not much to see anyway! LOL

Best Wishes,

Jen :)

Zoo Pictures

2011-04-07T15:04:00.000-07:00

We have a mem-
bership
to the
Los Angeles Zoo, and we go there fre-
quent-
ly. At the entrance of the zoo (at least on weekends)there are usually photographers waiting to take your picture, which you can pick up for a small fee when you are ready to leave the zoo. The pictures never turn out great, but I inevitably purchase them. I just can't stop myself! What looks like an eye patch over my youngest boy's face is actually a Mickey Mouse ear from a stuffed animal Mickey that he's holding.

Best Wishes,

Jen :)

Trader Joe's Mini Almond Biscotti

2011-04-05T20:29:00.000-07:00

You know, I used to bake some-
thing
special
at least a few times per week. These days I have two small children, a full-time job, and, well, need I say more? LOL. I miss baking and will pick back up with my domestic routines once the kids are a bit older. Nowadays keeping the house reasonably clean, getting dinner of some sort on the table, and learning how to knit are the extent of my domestic arts endeavors.

Still, when it comes to desserts, homemade is almost always best--last week I was the lucky recipient of a dozen cookies baked by my sister-in-law. I have no idea what was in them, but they were really,really good.

I used to actually bake my own biscotti. Yes, it's true! I did. But since I don't have time right now for that sort of thing, I picked up these mini almond biscotti from Trader Joe's and was surprised to find out how good they were. Not as good as my sister-in-law's cookies, but very good. I highly recommend them. Trader Joe's has a lot of surprisingly good products. These biscotti would be good used as a crust for a cheesecake instead of the usual graham crackers. But they're pretty good on their own with ice cream or maybe some hot chocolate. I feel luckier and luckier to live close to a Trader Joe's! LOL

Best Wishes,

Jen :)

A Place in the Sun

2011-03-23T15:17:00.000-07:00

An American Tragedy is one of my very favorite books. The movie version of it, entitled A Place in the Sun(actually, this was the 2nd movie version--the first was made in 1931) wasn't bad, either. It starred Elizabeth Taylor (who died today) and Montgomery Clift, whose biography I happened to be reading this week.

The biography, written by Patricia Bosworth, is a fascinating story, and I really am enjoying reading about Mr. Clift's complicated mother and her adoptive history. The problem with this particular copy of the book, which I've checked out of the library, is the notes written in the margins by a previous library patron. When someone gay is mentioned, he (and I can tell it's a he by his handwriting) has written (GAY!) and when something he didn't like is written, there are comments like (B*@#H!) and (HOMOPHOBIC!) all in caps, all in parenthesis with an exclamation point. All of this accusatory marginalia makes me think that the previous library patron was projecting a wee bit. Anyway, I've attacked all of these notes with my Liquid Paper Correction Tape. It's just wrong to deface library books--both legally, and morally, too, in my opinion.

Anyway, Elizabeth Taylor was very beautiful, and I have always admired the way she stayed engaged with life, never giving up even after serious setbacks. She was married and divorced any number of times, but never lost interest in male companionship. That's pretty admirable right there!

Even after she moved away from acting, she did useful things, like raising money for AIDS research. She had her perfume and jewelry businesses, too. She was occupied with her children and grandchildren.

In the 1980s Ms. Taylor became the target of comedienne Joan Rivers' incredibly mean spirited comedy campaign, due to her weight gain, but even this didn't seem to embitter her. I was constantly wanting to defend Ms. Taylor against that horrible Rivers woman. I have often wondered why Rivers was so cruel? And why did so many people think that her verbal attacks about the beautiful actress were funny? I'm sure it all comes down to self-loathing and envy on the part of Rivers. And her fans. I am not one of Rivers' fans--I feel compelled to add this here.

Well, I wish Ms. Taylor peace and happiness in the next life. She has surely earned her place in the world to come.

Best Wishes,

Jen :)

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

2011-03-17T14:31:00.000-07:00

Well, it's that time of year again. We're not Irish, but life can be bleak enough--why turn down an opportunity for a little celebration? When I was an undergraduate at UCLA, one of my classmates was a Hispanic activist. But I questioned her activism--one of her pet peeves was that Caucasian people liked to celebrate Cinco De Mayo. I understand that few people appreciate the history and background of Cinco De Mayo (and basically any other holiday) but why not allow people some enjoyment of Mexican food and whatever mindless revelries they might engage in? What does it hurt?

Happy St. Patrick's Day--today is actually the anniversary of the death of that venerable Catholic Saint. I hope my kids will want to hear a little bit about the history of St. Patrick this evening at dinner, but I doubt that they will.

Anyway, I have always had a fondness for green carnations, and today is the one day that you can find them easily at any florists. I'll pick some up on the way home.

Best Wishes,

Jen :)

Learning to Knit

2011-03-15T14:51:00.000-07:00

I had always wanted to learn how to knit, but there are no knitters in my family. It seemed like one of the more mysterious and difficult domestic arts, that could only be mastered by the chosen few.

Also, for some reason, I thought that knitting was a skill that had to be learned in childhood, and that this opportunity had passed me by. But now, my friend, Sylvie, who is French, is teaching me to knit...in French! (I learned to speak French later in life, too, by the way--I hope I can show my children by example that there are no real age limits on most of our dreams--Grandma Moses was no child prodigy, remember!). Sylvie asked me what I wanted my first project to be, and I replied, "A dog sweater for Chacha." Chacha is my 14-year old rescued Miniature Pinscher. She often gets cold, and I'm sure she'd appreciate a sweater.

My little boys already have mountains of knitted sweaters, hats, and scarves. A Swiss friend of mine (European girls of past generations often learned knitting in school) is an expert knitter and has been so generous to the boys and me. But I'll knit something for the boys next!

And knitting, from my limited perspective, is all that I ever thought it would be. It is challenging, yet relaxing at the same time. It offers endless opportunities for creativity in making clothing, interior decoration and so on. Hmmm, I wonder if my little boys would ever want to learn how to knit? I've read that boys often take to knitting more naturally than girls, because it is kind of a technical and mathematical skill. We'll see....

Best Wishes,

Jen :)

Solar Panels vs. Nuclear Energy

2011-03-14T16:08:00.000-07:00

Normally, when I think of Japan I think of all the nice Japanese people I have met. Japanese Americans, too--I had several friends in high school with Japanese parents, and they were such nice kids--very hard-working and studious. Almost all of them attended J-School, after regular school, where they learned Japanese language and culture. Even as a naive teen aged hakujin, I could see what was beautiful about all things Japanese.

Even today, many years later, I am an especial fan of Japanese sewing magazines, Japanese spitz dogs (we have an Akita mix at home), and Japanese bobtail cats, ceramic copies of which can be found in practically every sushi restaurant. These cats are supposed to bring good luck...They are expensive here in the U.S., and I wouldn't buy one anyway. I knew an American who loved Japanese bobtail cats and went on vacation to Japan, where he rounded up several from the animal shelter. I have always thought that sounded like a good idea. One day when I take that long-awaited hiking trip in the Japanese alps, I'm gonna come home with some rescue cats! LOL

Anyway, the Japanese earthquake and its horrifying results are almost too much for me to comprehend. I wish I could do something besides donate money to humanitarian groups. But I don't really see anything else I can do...

As an aside note, the earthquake has caused me to think of an issue that hasn't been on my mind for a long time--nuclear power. Right now, as Japan faces nuclear meltdown, quite by chance, my husband is studying up on how he can install our own solar panels on our house to be environmentally friendly, and hopefully, to save some money in the long run. The Department of Water and Power is no bargain, I'll tell ya!

But Japan is an ueber-1st world country. These people are not playing games....they are not wannabees at anything scientific. So who would ever have thought that their nuclear plants would be facing disaster? My husband had been inspired last week when he read an article about installing your own solar panels and even having enough power left over to run your electric car. It doesn't sound like a bad deal. I would be happy to not spend so much money on gasoline, either.

I am praying for those in Japan and worrying about what might still come.

Best Wishes,

Jen :)

Adopt A Shelter Pet

2011-02-24T16:46:00.001-08:00

The United States Postal Service debuted this set of stamps on April 30, 2010 (the day I was in the hospital giving birth to my little boy, Joey!)to raise awareness of the plight of shelter animals. I love these stamps! They are beautiful, and our family has two rescued dogs. Chacha, who comes with me to work everyday, was in the pound before being rescued by the Internet Min Pin Rescue, and Cody, who was heading to the pound to be euthanized, when a local dog walker told us about him. They're both happy members of our family now, though. If I weren't so busy with my work, I'd have several more rescue dogs, and cats, too. One day I won't be so busy with work, and I'll be sweeping the shelters for more rescue friends! I just hope I don't end up as one of these eccentric old ladies with forty cats!

Best Wishes,

Jen :)

Happy Valentine's Day

2011-02-14T13:23:00.000-08:00

Aren't these photos cute? They're just photographs taken against a blank screen, and then photoshopped onto these cute backgrounds. I had them done at Photo Perfections, Inc. in the Glendale Galleria. I was hesitant, but the salesperson reeled me in with the promise of a Valentine's Day discount. I'm so glad I let myself be persuaded!

I recently showed them to a friend of mine, whose daughter is a friend of Little Charles',with the warning, "These may be a little bit cheesey!" But when she saw them she said they'd only be cheesey to someone to didn't have children. That's a good observation. Before we became parents, my husband and I never would have realized the value of pictures like these.

In fact, our thinking about life has shifted dramatically with the birth of our children. We are much happier. There is love at home like there never was before!

Happy Valentines Day.

Jen :)

Dr. Dies in Boyfriend's Chimney

2011-01-31T11:12:00.000-08:00

A friend sent me a link to an article about a well-liked physician who died in her boyfriend's chimney after attempting to break into his house. I was saddened to read of this senseless death that happened in Bakersfield, CA in September, 2010. The doctor, Jacquelyn Kotarac, 49, was found dead in her boyfriend's chimney three days after she attempted to sneak into his Bakersfield house to continue arguing with him. The alleged boyfriend, William Moodie, 58, who runs an engineering consulting firm, would not let Dr. Kotarac into his house as they were having a violent argument.

The doctor first attempted to use a shovel to force her way in through a back door, an investigator said. When this didn't work, she found a ladder that was laying outside Mr. Moodie's house and climbed up on the roof. While on the roof, Dr. Kotarac proceeded to remove the chimney cap and slide feet first down the flue where she got stuck and died. Asphyxiation is the official cause of death.

Mr. Moodie didn't notice that Dr. Kotarac was on the roof heading for the chimney, as he had sneaked out of the house, unnoticed by Dr. Kotarac, when she began banging on the door with a shovel. He was apparently afraid that a violent confrontation was imminent.

I'm sure that Dr. Kotarac was a very lovely person, a self-made woman, and a respected and successful physician who was dedicated to her patients' health and well being. But her unfortunate death was driven by her desperate emotional state. She cared so much about Mr. Moodie, who probably never gave her a second thought. He returned later that day and saw her car parked outside of his house, but he never investigated. He never called her cell phone, her work, her family. He never inspected his property (which still must have had the ladder propped up against the roof) and never called the police. He probably just didn't care. And this beautiful, accomplished person ended her life over him.

He wasn't worth it. No one is.

Best Wishes,

Jen

Cottonwoods

2011-01-30T10:55:00.000-08:00

We went out for a horseback ride this morning, and some beautiful cottonwood trees were in bloom. This is kind of early in the season, but the trees were all full of fluffy, feathery seeds to be dispersed by the wind.

Cottonwood trees like to grow near water sources, and the ones we saw were in a desert wash. Sometimes the wash is dry (it's not now because of all the rain we've had) but the presence of available underground water is revealed by the cottonwood trees growing here. In former times, pioneers were happy to see cottonwood trees because it meant shade, wood, and nearby water.

Best Wishes,

Jen :)

New Year, Same Goals

2011-01-04T15:47:00.000-08:00

It's a new year, but I'm still working on my same goals. Namely, to be a good wife and mother. Also, to be a good attorney, serving my clients faithfully and acting in their best interests.

Best Wishes,

Jen :)

Happy at Home for the Holidays

2010-12-23T13:45:00.000-08:00

It is such a relief to have a few days off. I went to Beverly HIlls this morning to do some last minute shopping. I wanted to buy some expensive perfume and felt grateful that I could afford something nice and subtle that didn't come from a drugstore. But I felt trapped amidst the expensive junk that crowded the department store I went to. I grabbed my perfume and begged the saleslady to ring up my purchase as quickly as possible! Because I was just about to suffocate in all this pretention! She laughed and said she understood. She lowered her voice and asked me sadly if I'd ever seen such bad plastic surgery before. Well, no, I never had. Several of the store patrons looked almost deformed. One woman had so much filler injected into her face that she looked embalmed. I wanted to cry. But I bet she had paid big bucks to look like that. I will be saving my money for other things. Plastic surgery is not for me.

I once read a beautiful book by Joni Hilton. It describes two women, sisters-in-law, who go shopping in Beverly Hills. Joni's character describes how bad she feels with the envy, the competing, and everyone trying to stay young in "Hollywood." I felt similarly uncomfortable this morning. I was never so glad to get home to my husband, our babies, and our dog, Cody. Chacha accompanied me on my shopping trip. She waited in the car, though. On the way home, feeling emotionally at my end, I stopped at McDonalds (something I rarely do) and shared my lunch with Chacha. People food is nothing for dogs, but today was different--we had escaped Beverly Hills! LOL I had spent part of my childhood living in Beverly Hills and always thought I'd buy a house there one day when I had enough money. I don't feel that way anymore! Ha ha.

Whoa! Next time I'm just gonna order my perfume online.

Best Wishes,

Jen :)

Chuck E. Cheese

2010-12-21T13:34:00.000-08:00

It's been raining cats and dogs here in South-
ern Cali-
fornia for the last few days. We have missed out on all outdoor activities, such as horseback riding, hiking, and playing in the park. But there's always Chuck E. Cheese's! Whatever else one might say about this pizza/arcade chain, it's indoors and kids can run around with reckless abandon. All kids seem to love it. The food is expensive, though. And not the best, I might add! But we usually go there when it's raining and we always have fun. No one likes to be stuck at home all day.

Best Wishes,

Jen :)

'Tis the Season to be Grateful!

2010-12-13T14:55:00.000-08:00

We visited some dear friends, Man-
fred and Gab-
riela,re-
cently.
Gab-
riela e-mailed me this photo of Little Joe, my youngest boy. I'm so grateful to be a mom to my two wonderful children! It is such a privilege.

Best Wishes,

Jen :)

Secret Stairs

2010-12-13T11:35:00.000-08:00

Secret Stairs is one of the most useful books I have read this year. Sounds like Nancy Drew mystery, doesn't it? LOL The Hidden Staircase was the second volume in the Nancy Drew mystery series, actually. But Secret Stairs: A Walking Guide to the Historic Staircases of Los Angeles is a terrific new book written by Charles Fleming that was just published this year. As you can guess from the title, it's a guide to the staircases all over Los Angeles that you may not know about. I only really know about them because I used to live in Echo Park and I would see them.

These days, sometimes I walk up and down a very steep staircase in Echo Park on my lunch hour just to stretch my legs. My dog, Chacha, appreciates the exercise, too.

Charles Fleming, the author of the book leads stair climbing tours every month or so. I have yet to take one of these group tours, but I plan to do so soon.

Best Wishes!

Jen :)

Here's a copy of an article that was just published in the Wall Street Journal about Mr. Fleming and his walking groups:

By ARNIE COOPER
Los Angeles

In a place where "walking" means heading to your car across a Trader Joe's parking lot, the prospect of promenading seems as quaint as a rotary-dial telephone. But Charles Fleming, author of "Secret Stairs: A Walking Guide to the Historic Staircases of Los Angeles" (Santa Monica Press), is helping Angelenos discover their communities' historic and architectural treasures—something not easily achieved through the window of a fast-moving vehicle.

The 55-year-old best-selling author's foray into perambulation can be traced to a family legacy of chronic back problems. Unfortunately, his two surgeries in 2004 and 2005 provided little relief. Says Mr. Fleming, "everyone I knew had a solution. 'Dude,' they said, 'you've got to try yoga. You've got to try Pilates. Acupressure. Acupuncture. Herb teas. And you've got to eliminate sugar, man.'"

Desperate, Mr. Fleming experimented with them all, but nothing worked. Unable to face a third back surgery in 2006, he opted, instead, to have his wife drive him to a flat area where he could do the only thing that eased his pain—walk. Within four months Mr. Fleming was scaling the historic public stairways not only in his Silverlake neighborhood but also those in Echo Park, Hollywood, Pasadena, Santa Monica and other sections of Los Angeles County.

Mr. Fleming didn't start out intending to write a book with 42 separate walks, but then his ambles expanded and he came across gems like Charlie Chaplin's old house, and Frank Lloyd Wright's 1924 textile-block dwelling featured in films like "Day of the Locust" and "Bladerunner." Meanwhile, locals expressed an interest, so in the spring of 2007 Mr. Fleming decided to pitch the concept as a book. Then almost 10 "hard-core" months of documenting landmarks and counting all the steps began.

"Don't you have anything better to do?" jokes Mr. Fleming on a recent morning upon arriving at our rendezvous point, the parking lot of the Hollywood Heritage Museum. (He usually guides tours on the first Sunday of every month, though this month it's on Dec. 12.) It's exactly 11 a.m., and the little clump of mostly 50-somethings that greeted me minutes ago has mushroomed into a chatty horde of city-explorers of all ages eager to conquer walk No. 37, the Hollywood Bowl and High Tower Loop.

Mr. Fleming, tall, gray and handsome in shorts, a white dress shirt and hiking shoes, circulates among the crowd—greeting old friends and introducing himself to newcomers.

"I'm gonna do a headcount. I got 41. All right troops? Tally Ho!"

That number may sound high, but 62 people joined the previous excursion. In fact, Mr. Fleming now pines for the "good old days" when just two or three hikers came along. No matter—the large numbers lend a decided dynamism to the endeavor, though I do wonder how we're all going to make it across Highland Avenue before the light turns red.

Miraculously we do, and soon approach the first set of stairs, "clean" and "well swept" with eight landings and 103 steps, in case you're keeping track. One detail you should know: Virtually all such staircases were designed by city planners to make it easy for residents in hilltop communities to access Los Angeles's once comprehensive network of trolleys and streetcars.

And while those conveyances may have disappeared, the neighborhoods are fully intact and—at least in the case of the one on our tour—eerily tranquil.

Charles Fleming on a tour in the Irish countryside.
."Gather around," Mr. Fleming says in a loud whisper as we reach the first vista. "I'll just tell you a couple of little things. We're going to be walking today through a couple of areas that are a little bit narrow, quiet and intimate. This is one of the only areas where people took me aside while I was researching and said: 'For God's sake, don't put these staircases in your book. We don't want people walking here.' And I said, 'Oh, OK, thanks for that information'—and then, of course, I included them."

Mr. Fleming is referring to the "High Tower" area, named after the campanile-like cement structure piercing the greenery above us. Alas, you won't hear ringing from this bell tower. Though the setting may resemble the Riviera, this is still America. The structure serves as the private elevator (key required) for the 30 or so people who live in the homes above. "Everything that goes in and out of there goes up the elevator or up the stairs," Mr. Fleming says with a grin. "You can tell the piano store, 'Sell me one that'll fit in an elevator, please.'"

This unusual piece of architecture did not go unnoticed by writers and filmmakers. According to Mr. Fleming, Raymond Chandler and more recently Michael Connelly have incorporated it in scenes for their detectives to wander around in. It also appears in "Farewell, My Lovely" starring Robert Mitchum. (You can tell Mr. Fleming was a Newsweek entertainment reporter.)

One footnote: On our walk, Mr. Fleming didn't precisely follow the route in his book. Had we done so, we would have passed an apartment building, Franklin Towers, in which William Faulkner was living when he wrote the screenplays for "To Have and Have Not" and "The Big Sleep."

The group, now split between the jocks and the huffers-and-puffers, moves on, winding past quaint, red-roofed Mediterranean homes fronted by orange trees and bougainvillea. Another 100-step staircase lands us at a spectacular panorama revealing the unmistakable domes of the Griffith Park Observatory and the Hollywood sign in the distance.

A few more blocks and we're face to face with the tower, built in the 1920s by developer Carl Kay to serve residents of, as Mr. Fleming writes, "the strange, serene, private world of Alta Loma." As we pass under the trumpet vines, oleander and sprawling oaks, the nearby eight-lane 101 is barely perceptible.

Now we head down some steps before conquering our final destination, the Hollywood Bowl—no ticket required. "Because this is a county area, the Bowl is open to the public all the time except during performances," Mr. Fleming tells us. Good thing, for after climbing the shallow steps to the nosebleed section, we're staring into another classic view beautifully framed by the clamshell stage in front of us.

"So how's your back doing?" I ask Mr. Fleming as we return to the starting point. "My back is great. But my wife's very irritated with me. After walking and hiking six hours a day, four days in a row in Berkeley and Oakland"—his next book, "The Secret Stairs: East Bay," is due out next summer—"I had two hours of doubles yesterday, and two hours this morning. I feel great!"

Mr. Cooper is a writer based in Santa Barbara, Calif.

Cyberbullying--What to do?

2010-12-10T10:38:00.000-08:00

There is so much cyber-bullying going on these days. Since people can do it anonymously, they are much more willing to say horrible, shameful, and untrue things about people. Look on the Internet at celebrity gossip sites--I believe the horrible things that people write have their "Ursprung" in envy, which is one of the seven deadly sins, by the way.

But most celebrities are adults who can presumably handle reading the nasty things people write about them. But what if the target is an innocent child? In days past, catty girls had notebooks called slam-books where they (more-or-less anonymously) wrote bad things about girls with whom they were in social competition. Still, people were somewhat careful about what they wrote, as you could always identify a slam-book "contributor" by her handwriting.

With Facebook, and the Internet in general, it has never been easier to ruin some one's life with malicious gossip. We should always remember the tremendous psychological benefits to a hostile person in seeing a rival's social status decline.

The envious, the jealous, and the deranged who engage in cyber-bullying would never acknowledge that their motivations in gossiping are so self-serving. They simply feel better about themselves by lowering the public esteem of someone who is their social equal, or social superior.

Here's some advice from me, followed by a recent New York Times article that offers even more useful advice for parents. Hey, all of our kids are at risk for being cyber-bullied. What's even worse, and even sadder, is that all of our kids are at risk for becoming cyber-bullies themselves.

Advice from me:
1) Never go on celebrity gossip sites. Don't make friends with people who frequent celebrity gossip sites. If your kids see you behaving well, and treating others with love, kindness and compassion, they are likely to follow suit.

2) Don't allow your kids to be on Facebook until they are at least 18. Kids don't have any privacy rights. At least not in my house. While I don't plan to peruse my kids' journals, computers, cell phones and electronic devices are mine, in effect, mostly because what my kids may do with these devices is my legal responsibility. I don't play games. My kids had better behave! LOL If my kids were ever to cyber-bully someone, they would be in serious trouble. They would also break my heart...I am so serious about raising good, sweet kids.

3) Be pro-active. Did you ever see that movie, "The Hand that Rocks the Cradle," where Peyton, the nanny, (wouldn't you know that Peyton turned out to be my married last name? LOL) is told by the little girl, Emma, that she is being bullied by a boy and that her mom had tried to stop it, but it didn't work? So one day at the playground, Peyton asks Emma to point out the boy to her. (This scene is pictured above). Emma tells Peyton who it is, and Peyton walks over, grabs the boy by the wrist and twists his arm high in the air and tells him not to bother Emma ever again or she'll "rip his f'ing head off." Well, this is extreme and criminal, but it did work. Peyton scared off the bully and he never bothered Emma again! Believe me, if my kids (or any other kids I knew) ever became the targets of a bully, I'd be at either the principals office or the police station the same day. I would NOT try and duke it out with the offending kid on the playground, but I have always remembered the scene from this movie. Peyton sure knew how to take action! LOL

We have to protect our children, and also look out for other people's children. We truly are our brother's keeper.

Here's this terrific article:

Richard Perry/The New York Times
WORDS OF WARNING Jill Brown of Generation Text speaks to parents about cyberbullying. A friend snubbed her for trying to intervene in an online incident.
Enlarge This Image

Yana Paskova for The New York Times
PERPLEXED PARENTS Audience members at a safety lecture in Sparta, N.J.
Enlarge This Image

Josh Anderson for The New York Times
A Nashville man’s daughter was a victim of online bullying until he intervened.
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“The kids say I’m saying all these nasty things about them on Facebook,” he said. “They don’t believe me when I tell them I’m not on Facebook.”

But apparently, he was.

Marie, a medical technologist and single mother who lives in Newburyport, Mass., searched Facebook. There she found what seemed to be her son’s page: his name, a photo of him grinning while running — and, on his public wall, sneering comments about teenagers he scarcely knew.

Someone had forged his identity online and was bullying others in his name.

Students began to shun him. Furious and frightened, Marie contacted school officials. After expressing their concern, they told her they could do nothing. It was an off-campus matter.

But Marie was determined to find out who was making her son miserable and to get them to stop. In choosing that course, she would become a target herself. When she and her son learned who was behind the scheme, they would both feel the sharp sting of betrayal. Undeterred, she would insist that the culprits be punished.

It is difficult enough to support one’s child through a siege of schoolyard bullying. But the lawlessness of the Internet, its potential for casual, breathtaking cruelty, and its capacity to cloak a bully’s identity all present slippery new challenges to this transitional generation of analog parents.

Desperate to protect their children, parents are floundering even as they scramble to catch up with the technological sophistication of the next generation.

Like Marie, many parents turn to schools, only to be rebuffed because officials think they do not have the authority to intercede. Others may call the police, who set high bars to investigate. Contacting Web site administrators or Internet service providers can be a daunting, protracted process.

When parents know the aggressor, some may contact that child’s parent, stumbling through an evolving etiquette in the landscape of social awkwardness. Going forward, they struggle with when and how to supervise their adolescents’ forays on the Internet.

Marie, who asked that her middle name and her own nickname for her son, D.C., be used to protect his identity, finally went to the police. The force’s cybercrimes specialist, Inspector Brian Brunault, asked if she really wanted to pursue the matter.

“He said that once it was in the court system,” Marie said, “they would have to prosecute. It could probably be someone we knew, like a friend of D.C.’s or a neighbor. Was I prepared for that?”

Marie’s son urged her not to go ahead. But Marie was adamant. “I said yes.”

Parental Fears

One afternoon last spring, Parry Aftab, a lawyer and expert on cyberbullying, addressed seventh graders at George Washington Middle School in Ridgewood, N.J.

“How many of you have ever been cyberbullied?” she asked.

The hands crept up, first a scattering, then a thicket. Of 150 students, 68 raised their hands. They came forward to offer rough tales from social networking sites, instant messaging and texting. Ms. Aftab stopped them at the 20th example.

Then she asked: How many of your parents know how to help you?

A scant three or four hands went up.

Cyberbullying is often legally defined as repeated harassment online, although in popular use, it can describe even a sharp-elbowed, gratuitous swipe. Cyberbullies themselves resist easy categorization: the anonymity of the Internet gives cover not only to schoolyard-bully types but to victims themselves, who feel they can retaliate without getting caught.

But online bullying can be more psychologically savage than schoolyard bullying. The Internet erases inhibitions, with adolescents often going further with slights online than in person.

“It’s not the swear words,” Inspector Brunault said. “They all swear. It’s how they gang up on one individual at a time. ‘Go cut yourself.’ Or ‘you are sooo ugly’ — but with 10 u’s, 10 g’s, 10 l’s, like they’re all screaming it at someone.”

The cavalier meanness can be chilling. On a California teenage boy’s Facebook wall, someone writes that his 9-year-old sister is “a fat bitch.” About the proud Facebook photos posted by a 13-year-old New York girl, another girl comments: “hideous” and “this pic makes me throwup a lil.” If she had to choose between the life of an animal and that of the girl in the photos, she continues, she would choose the animal’s, because “yeah, at least they’re worth something.”

This is a dark, vicious side of adolescence, enabled and magnified by technology. Yet because so many horrified parents are bewildered by the technology, they think they are helpless to address the problems it engenders.

“I’m not seeing signs that parents are getting more savvy with technology,” said Russell A. Sabella, former president of the American School Counselor Association. “They’re not taking the time and effort to educate themselves, and as a result, they’ve made it another responsibility for schools. But schools didn’t give the kids their cellphones.”

As bullying, or at least conflict, becomes more prevalent in the digital world, parents are beginning to turn out for community lectures, offered by psychologists, technology experts and the police. One weekday night this fall, Meghan Quigley, a mother from Duxbury, Mass., was among the 100 or so parents who attended a panel featuring Elizabeth Englander, a psychologist who consulted on the new Massachusetts bullying law.

“I absolutely have to be much more techno savvy than I want to be,” said Mrs. Quigley, who does not know how to text, although two of her children use cellphones just to text their friends. “But it is overwhelming to me.”

These lectures typically combine technology primers so elementary that elementary-school children might snicker, with advanced course work in 21st-century child-rearing.

Dr. Englander reminded parents that while children may be nimble with technology, they lack the maturity to understand its consequences.

Then she demonstrated how to adjust Facebook privacy settings. Many parents peered at her slides, taking notes.

Don’t set too much stock in those settings, she said: “ ‘Privacy’ is just a marketing term.” A child’s Facebook friend, she noted, could easily forward the “private” information.

In a study last year of 312 freshmen at Bridgewater State University, Dr. Englander found that 75 percent reported that during a typical high school day they had used their cellphones for voice communication 30 percent of the time or less, preferring to use them for texting, sending photos and videos, and surfing the Internet.

This is not a “phone,” Dr. Englander told the parents who looked, collectively, shellshocked. What you’ve given your child “is a mobile computer.”

If their children get caught in a crisis, she said, parents should preserve the evidence, by taking a screenshot of the offending material.

A mother timidly raised her hand. “How do I make a screenshot?”

The Bully Next Door

Throughout the fall, the Facebook profile set up in D.C.’s name taunted students: “At least I don’t take pics of myself in the mirror like a homosexual midget,” wrote “D.C.” Also, “you smell weird.” And “ur such a petaphile.” At school, students would belligerently ask D.C. why he was picking fights on Facebook. He would eat lunch alone, and skipped some school, insisting that he was ill.

“I would always ask him, ‘Are you having a good day?’ ” Marie said. “So he stopped talking to me about anything at school. He was afraid I would make more trouble for him. But the real victim was being ostracized more than the kids who were being bullied on his Facebook page.”

She would call Inspector Brunault weekly. Last fall, the detective had to subpoena Facebook for the address of the computer linked to the forged profile. Then he had to subpoena Comcast, the Internet service provider, for the home address of the computer’s owner.

Facebook has since made it simpler to report malicious activity. Although Facebook declined to make its head of security available for an interview, a spokesman replied by e-mail that if Facebook determines that a report of an impostor profile is legitimate, “We will provide a limited amount of data that helps the person take steps to repair his or her identity.”

Finally, in January, Inspector Brunault told Marie he was getting close. He visited the home address supplied by Comcast. When he left, he had two more names and addresses.

A few weeks later, he called Marie.

Just before dinner, Marie broke the news to D.C. Two culprits were 14; one was 13. After learning the first two names, D.C. said: “Those guys have never liked me. I don’t know why.”

But the third boy had been a friend since preschool. His father was a sports coach of D.C.’s.

D.C. was silent. Then he teared up.

Finally, he said, “Do you mean to tell me, Mom, that they hate me so much that they would take the time to do this?”

Inspector Brunault asked the boys why they had done it. That summer, they replied, they had been reading Facebook profiles of people’s dogs, which they found hilarious. They decided to make up a profile. They picked D.C. “because he was a loner and a follower.”

Although the police did not release the boys’ names because they are juveniles, word seeped through town. In the middle of the night, Marie received anonymous calls. “They told me my son should just suck it up,” she recalled. “They said he would be a mama’s boy. They would rant and then they would hang up.”

Contacting the Other Parent

After Marie learned the identities of her son’s cyberbullies, she did not call their parents. She was so incensed that she communicated only through official go-betweens, like the police and prosecutors.

But some parents prefer to resolve the issue privately, by contacting the bully’s family. Psychologists do not recommend that approach with schoolyard bullying, because it can devolve into conflicting narratives. With cyberbullying, a parent’s proof of baldly searing digital exchanges can reframe that difficult conversation.

Parents who present the other parents with a printout of their child’s most repugnant moments should be prepared for minimization, even denial.

Maj. Glenn Woodson’s daughter, Sierra, has a shortened leg because of a congenital condition. One night, when she was in sixth grade, she received a text message showing a stick figure of her lying prostrate, eyes crossed out, another girl holding a bloody blade over the body. It had been sent by three girls in Sierra’s grade.

Major Woodson, who lives on an Army base in Monterey, Calif., contacted the military police. They had a stern sit-down with the families of the three girls. Teachers held a workshop on cyberbullying. Two families apologized to the Woodsons.

Finally, the mother of the third girl, the instigator, called. “ ‘It isn’t her fault,’ she said to my wife,” Major Woodson said. “The mom said: ‘I think this is way overblown. My daughter is being punished and she’s not the only one who did it.’ ”

The mother did not apologize.

What may be offensive in one household may be just a shoulder shrug in another.

In the San Francisco Bay Area, Christine, who, like many parents interviewed for this article asked that her last name not be used to protect her child’s identity, selected a school for her daughter largely because it eschewed technology. But when her daughter was in sixth grade, a classmate e-mailed her links to pornography sites.

Christine called the boy’s mother. “I asked her to get her son to stop,” Christine said. “She apologized, and her son wrote us a letter of apology. ”

But the boy’s father disagreed. “He refused to put limits on the kid,” said Christine, who works in marketing. “ ‘Oh, no, he needs total freedom and he can use his best judgment.’ ”

When well-intentioned observers intervene, they can find themselves scorned.

Jill Brown, a Westfield, N.J., mother who lectures on cyberbullying through her company, Generation Text, saw something online that disturbed her: a Facebook group sniping at a young girl titled “I Stalk (name deleted) And Her Junior Boyfriend.” The group had some 500 “friends.”

The mother of a group founder was a friend of Ms. Brown’s.

Ms. Brown suggested her friend look at the site. She asked her not to let her daughter know who blew the whistle. Her friend was polite but distant.

By the next day, “The girl had defriended me on Facebook,” Ms. Brown said. “I texted her mother seven times. She ignored me.”

Three weeks later, the friend stopped by Ms. Brown’s house for a trunk show. When Ms. Brown asked what had happened to the Facebook group, the woman airily dismissed it as an adolescent joke.

Parent-to-parent confrontations can also backfire against the child.

In a small Western resort town, Gerrie’s daughter, Michaela, 14, received an obscene, threatening text from a boy who was the star of her ski team. He accused Michaela of having told his girlfriend that he was secretly dating someone else and vowed to ruin Michaela’s life.

Michaela stared at the cellphone, tears rolling down her face. She had not informed on him.

Gerrie’s husband called the boy’s mother. After seeing the corrosive text, the mother took away her son’s cellphone for a week.

The boy made good on his threat. He spread a false rumor that his mother wouldn’t allow him to race, and that Michaela’s snitching was to blame. The news erupted on Facebook.

Ski team members ostracized Michaela. She rode the lifts by herself. Before team practices, she would quake and vomit.

“I did what I thought was right to help my daughter,” said Gerrie, an art teacher, “and I only ended up making it worse. But when your kid gets a text like that, what are you supposed to do?”

Dr. Sabella, the former president of the American School Counselor Association, says that parents should meet in public places, like the library or a guidance counselor’s office, rather than addressing the conflict by e-mail. And the reporting parents should be willing to acknowledge that their child may have played a role in the dispute. To ease tension, suggests Dr. Englander, an expert on aggression reduction, offer the cyberbully’s parent a face-saving explanation.

Her model script?

“I need to show you what your son typed to my daughter online. He may have meant it as a joke. But my daughter was really devastated. A lot of kids type things online that they would never dream of saying in person. And it can all be easily misinterpreted.”

When that conversation is handled deftly, parents can achieve a reasonable outcome. The 14-year-old daughter of Rolin, a Nashville musician, began a relationship with a boy in her church group. But soon his texts and Facebook comments turned sexually graphic and coercive. When she backed away, he tried to isolate her. At a church retreat, he surreptitiously sent texts from her phone to three of her friends, all boys, saying she didn’t want to see them again.

She had no idea what he had done: he had deleted the text messages.

Those texts stunned her friends. Rolin pieced together what happened and blocked the boy’s number on his daughter’s phone. The boy simply borrowed his friends’ phones. Rolin called the boy’s parents, who agreed to sit down with both teenagers. “It would have been easier to send an e-mail,” Rolin said. “And yes, it was sure awkward to be talking to this 14-year-old kid in front of his parents about what he wrote to my daughter. But we had the proof.

“My goal wasn’t to polish my shotgun. It’s not about a show of force but a show of presence. I said, ‘If you want to be friends with her, you can’t text her and you can’t use another boy’s phone.’ ”

The boy’s father said Rolin had been easier on his son than the father would have been, had the roles been reversed.

Eventually, the relationship cooled on its own. “But I still have his number blocked on her phone,” Rolin said.

When the Bully Is Your Child

After the police arrested the boys who usurped D.C.’s identity, the parents wrote Marie awkward apology letters. Only one mother phoned, in tears.

No matter how parents see their children, learning of the cruelties they may perpetrate is jarring and can feel like an indictment of their child-rearing.

One afternoon two years ago, Judy, a recent widow in Palm Beach County, Fla., who had been finishing her college degree, helping a professor research cyberbullying, and working in an office, got a call from the middle school.

“Your daughter is involved in a cyberbullying incident,” the assistant principal said. “Come down immediately.”

Her daughter and two others had made a MySpace page about another middle-schooler, saying she was a “whore,” with a finger pointing to her private parts. The young teenagers printed out copies and flung them at students.

Judy rushed to school. Her daughter, a sweet, straight-A student, was waiting in the guidance counselor’s office, her arms crossed defiantly.

“I said to her, ‘This is a human being,’ ” Judy recalled. “ ‘This girl will be destroyed for the rest of her life!’ And my daughter just said: ‘I don’t care. It’s all true.’ And I bawled while she just sat there.”

The school suspended Judy’s daughter for three days.

“I did not call the target, I’m ashamed to say,” Judy recalled. “I didn’t know how to get hold of her. The school wouldn’t give me her name, and my daughter wouldn’t talk to me.”

Once Judy got over her shock, she said, “I had to accept that my daughter had really done this and it was so ugly.”

Judy took away her daughter’s computer, television and cellphone for months. She tried talking with her. Nothing. There were weeks of screaming and slammed doors.

Meanwhile, the girl’s grades dropped. She was caught with marijuana. Judy realized that her daughter had long been bottling up many family stressors: illness and death, financial worries, her mother’s exhausting schedule. In reaction, the girl had been misbehaving, including doing the very thing her mother found so abhorrent: cyberbullying.

In time, as Judy took long walks with her daughter, the girl began to resemble the child Judy thought she had known.

When her daughter’s grades improved, Judy bought her a puppy. “A lot of people will disagree with me,” Judy said, “but I thought, this is a way for her to be responsible for something other than herself, something that would be dependent on her for all its needs.”

The girl doted on the puppy. One day, Judy asked: “ ‘Would you want anyone to be mean to your dog? Throw rocks at Foxy?’ ”

Her daughter recoiled. Judy continued: “ ‘How do you think other parents feel when something mean happens to their children?’ Then she broke down crying. That’s when I think she finally understood what she had done.”

Supervisor or Spy?

Should teenagers have the same expectation of privacy from parents in their online accounts that an earlier generation had with their little red diaries and keys?

Software programs that speak to parental fears are manifold. Parents can block Web sites, getting alerts when the child searches for them. They can also monitor cellphones: a program called Mobile Spy promises to let parents see all text messages, track G.P.S. locations and record phone activity without the child knowing.

Parents who never believed they would resort to such tactics find themselves doing so.

Christine, the Bay Area mother whose daughter was sent links to pornography, struggled with how to supervise her daughter online. The challenge was compounded because students in the girl’s grade were playing sexualized Truth or Dare games. Her daughter had a leading role.

Christine cut off her daughter’s Internet access for months, mandating that she write schoolwork by hand. Over time, the girl earned back computer privileges. Christine also moved her to a parochial school. Then her daughter went on Facebook.

“We didn’t know much about Facebook,” said Christine, “but we set up serious monitoring.” One program limited computer time; another blocked certain sites. Christine even had her daughter’s Facebook password, so she could read the girl’s private messages.

That was how Christine discovered 82 exchanges between her daughter, a freshman, and a popular senior boy at the school. Her daughter offered him oral sex if he promised not to tell friends. The boy wrote back, “Would it be O.K. if I tell friends but not the ones at school?”

Christine’s daughter now sees a therapist. Christine herself uses a keystroke logger, software that records everything her two daughters write and see on their home computer. “It’s uncomfortable,” Christine said. “But my older daughter has demonstrated less than zero common sense. The level of trust between us is much lower than I’d like it to be. But I also think she was relieved that we caught her.

“My younger daughter calls me a stalker. She says we mistrust her because of what her sister did. That’s true. But my eyes are open, and I won’t go back.”

Studies show that children tend to side with Christine’s younger daughter. Last April in an omnibus review of studies addressing youth, privacy and reputation, a report by the Berkman Center for Internet and Society at Harvard noted that parents who checked their children’s online communications were seen as “controlling, invasive and ‘clueless.’ ” Young people, one study noted, had a notion of an online public viewership “that excludes the family.”

Conversely, studies show that more parents are heading in Christine’s direction. A recent study of teenagers and phones by the Pew Research Center Internet and American Life Project said that parents regard their children’s phones as a “parenting tool.” About two-thirds said they checked the content of their children’s phones (whether teenagers pre-emptively delete texts is a different matter). Two-thirds of the parents said they took away phones as punishment. Almost half said they used phones to check on their child’s whereabouts.

Anne Collier, editor of NetFamilyNews.org, a parenting and technology news blog, noted that stealth monitoring may be warranted in rare cases, when a parent suspects a child is at serious risk, such as being contacted by an unknown adult.

But generally, she said, spying can have terrible repercussions:

“If you’re monitoring your child secretly,” Ms. Collier said, “what do you say to the kid when you find something untoward? Then the conversation turns into ‘you invaded my privacy,’ which is not what you intended to talk about.”

Experts do not agree on guidelines about monitoring. But most concur on one principle:

“There is no one technology that will keep your kids safe,” said Dr. Larry D. Rosen, a psychology professor at California State University, Dominguez Hills, who writes about raising a tech savvy generation. “The kids are smart enough to get around any technology you might use.”

Dr. Englander installed keystroke logger software on her family computer. She uses it less as a monitoring device than as a means to teach her sons about digital safety. The Post-it on the family’s computer reads: “Don’t Forget That Mom Sees Everything You Do Online.” She does not, in fact, check frequently. She just wants her boys to think before they hit the “send” button, so they understand that there is no privacy online, from her, or anyone.

Last spring, the Essex County, Mass., district attorney’s office sent the three boys who forged D.C.’s Facebook identity to a juvenile diversion program for first-time nonviolent offenders.

If the boys adhere to conditions for a year, they will not be prosecuted. According to a spokesman, those conditions include: a five-page paper on cyberbullying; letters of apology to D.C. and everyone they insulted in his name on Facebook; attending two Internet safety presentations; community service; no access to the Internet except to complete schoolwork. Their computers must be in a public family space, not the bedroom.

Marie, who reports that D.C. has a new circle of friends and good grades, is reasonably satisfied with the sentencing conditions.

But compliance is another matter. She believes that at least one boy is already back on Facebook.

Overburdened school administrators and, increasingly, police officers who unravel juvenile cybercrimes, say it is almost impossible for them to monitor regulations imposed on teenagers.

As with the boys who impersonated D.C. online, a district attorney’s spokeswoman said, “That monitoring is up to the parents.”

The Playroom

2010-12-08T22:37:00.000-08:00

Okay, it's official. My kids have waaay too many toys. I snapp-
ed this photo the other day, and just some of the toys are visible. Believe me, there are a lot more of them. Little Charles must have over a thousand Matchbox Cars. My husband loved Matchbox Cars when he was a little boy. Could this car-obsession be hereditary? LOL

But that bear-like creature is not a toy, but rather our new dog, Cody. He's a German Shepherd/Akita mix and he's very friendly. Still, he's a very big dog, and we don't know him that well. I usually keep him muzzled around the kids. That way I can rest easy.

But these toys are just multiplying exponentially. I can't understand it! Where do they all come from? Now that Christmas is coming, I'm sure we'll be inundated with even more toys. I've come up with a solution, though, at my mother's urging. We just have a few toys out on display at one time, like they do with art in a museum. The rest of the toys are stashed in the closet. Then I rotate our toy "exhibits" every few days. Otherwise I would have had to have donated some of these things to the Goodwill!

Best Wishes,

Jen :)

Gingerbread House 2010

2010-12-08T13:28:00.000-08:00

Here's the little ginger-
bread house Little Charles and I made from a kit we pur-
chased at Target. You can sure tell that a professional pastry chef didn't help us out! LOL But it was really a lot of fun putting it together. And Little Charles is so proud of his "Hexenhaus" as it's known in German. He alternately refers to it as his "beautiful Christmas house." Isn't that sweet?

We're planning on making a quick trip to the Discovery Science Center in Santa Ana to see award-winning gingerbread displays that were entered in a local competition. If you've ever seen some of these gingerbread houses that look professional, they are amazing! The witch from Hansel and Gretel would be put to shame! LOL

Best Wishes,

Jen :)

The Family That Hikes Together....

2010-12-08T13:19:00.001-08:00

Here we all are on a couple of recent hikes. We love to hike, and it's amazing how many nice hiking trails there are around Los Angeles. On Thanksgiving weekend we went out to Placerita Canyon in Newhall and hiked there. It was absolutely beautiful! Little Charles ran up and down the trails like a mountain goat, and then got tired. And then I had to carry him....LOL! It was a lot of fun!

Best Wishes,

Jen :)

Ballet Boot Camp

2010-12-03T22:22:00.000-08:00

The Ballet Boot Camp series of DVDs is just ama-zing! I just got finished doing the Ballet Boot Camp Stretch DVD. This is my favorite of the series...it really works. There is even a special section on how to do the splits. There is nothing in the world like being able to do the splits! I am almost there...it's been a little while since I've been able to get both legs flat on the floor, but I am determined.

I make sure to do one of these DVDs every day. Ballet really does help you become more graceful and flexible. I took ballet for years as a child, all the while knowing I could never make a career out of it. A friend of mine, Bill, who for years was a rehearsal pianist for the Boston Ballet thinks that ballet classes are a waste of time for most kids. But I'm not so sure...despite my lack of natural talent, ballet was still very useful to me in many varied ways. Recently I was in court and a colleague asked me if I'd ever studied ballet. Well, I was glad to tell him that I sure had! He could tell by my bouncy walk.

If you want to see previews of the Ballet Boot Camp series, you can check them out on Youtube. Or you can check out a DVD at the library. I previewed the first tape from the library before purchasing it for my own "ex libris" collection! What can I say? I'm a cautious consumer. LOL But the time I invest in doing these workouts pays serious dividends. If I actually had time (which I don't) I would take an actual live ballet class a few times a week. But these DVDs are a remarkably good substitute. The choreographer and teacher, Jessica Sherwood, is amazingly flexible, and is obviously a professional ballerina, but the rest of the "class" is varied in age and exercise ability. There's even one man who looks to be in his 70s. Very inspiring!

Best Wishes,

Jen :)

Cancel My Subscription!

2010-12-02T12:02:00.000-08:00

Truth be told, I don't actually sub-scribe to Cosmopolitan Magazine. But I was glancing through it last night while waiting at the checkout stand at the market. I came across a little piece of advice that would make me want to cancel my subscription if I had one! (LOL)Well, here it is:

FUN, FEARLESS WAY TO MEET A GUY "At a crowded party, position yourself next to the nearest hottie and pick a trivial fight with your girlfriend--like Crocs: practical and cute or just plain ugly? Once things get "heated," turn to him and request his opinion to help settle your dispute."

While I realize that a magazine like Cosmopolitan is just for fun, and advice like this might seem silly, but harmless, there were many other articles that gave seriously bad advice to impressionable young women. I had once read that Monica Lewisnky was a fan of the Cosmopolitan Magazine. A lifetime of notoriety and shame is where being a "Cosmo Girl" got her.

There was a notable absence of articles speaking directly about issues that will ultimately affect young women's health and happiness the most, such as preserving your fertility, preserving your good reputation, being a good and kind person, etc. You know, things that lead to true happiness. We all know what we have to do to become the kinds of people we want to be--only this requires a lot of self-discipline and hard work. Not the kind of thing that sells magazines...

Other magazines, too, have to print what their target audiences want to read, and sometimes this means printing half-truths, ridiculing others, and simply omitting relevant information. At the dentist's office recently, I picked up a copy of Mother Jones magazine. I appreciated the articles on protecting the environment and all, but many of the other articles were disturbing. One article set out to make pro-life African American people look like paranoid losers for being so upset that so many Black women (as opposed to White women) are the ones to have abortions. The author completely ignored the racist and eugenicist roots of Margaret Sanger and the abortion business that she helped found. You might want to Google her--Margaret Sanger, I mean. She was quite the social reformer. Best Wishes,

Jen :)

Happy Thanksgiving!

2010-11-25T05:03:00.000-08:00

Kelly Preston's New Baby

2010-11-21T20:21:00.000-08:00

I'm so happy for beautiful Kelly Preston--she has a new baby! I was at Target yesterday doing some shopping, and I glanced at the cover of some tabloid by the cash register. The headline was demanding to know who the egg donor was! I quickly turned away. I always feel like less of a person by looking at tabloids. *Sigh*

Anyway, look at this recent picture of Kelly and her husband. Doesn't she look great? She may be 48, but she looks a good 15 years younger. It is a fact that people age at different rates. I read a book by gerontologist Thomas Perls, M.D., MPH, about centenarians. Many of the women who lived to be 100 had two important things in common--one, they looked consistently younger than their true years, and two, they were able to conceive children at an older age without using fertility technology.

Most women can't get pregant as late in life as Kelly, but look at them! They probably look 800 yrs. old compared to her, too! I suspect Kelly was able to go about it the natural way just on the basis of how young she looks. If you are thinking "cosmetic procedures," remember, those can only do so much. Kelly looks waaay too good for medical science to be the only reason behind her slow aging--she is simply aging well externally, and it's probably reasonable to believe that her insides are aging slowly, too.

Best Wishes,

Jenn :)

CNN Humiliatrix, Nancy Grace, Settles Suicide Lawsuit

2010-11-10T20:55:00.000-08:00

A lawsuit charging CNN humiliatrix/talk show host Nancy Grace with pushing Melinda Duckett, the mother of a missing child, to kill herself due to her aggressive questioning was settled on Monday. Grace agreed to establish a $200,000.00 trust fund to help find the child, Trenton Duckett.

Four years ago, the Melinda Duckett appeared on Nancy Grace's talk show and was badgered to the point of commiting suicide just hours after being "interviewed" by Ms. Grace.

Ms. Grace's rudeness ansd sensationalism is not done as research to get at the truth of an issue. She wants to be right (better than everyone else), and she wants to get ratings, and her bombastic behavior drives the ratings up. This is why she behaves as she does. This is yellow journalism at its very worst.

Nancy Grace should not be permitted to profit from the suffering inflicted on the victims featured on her program, or from the daily abuse heaped on their families. And what about the Duke Lacrosse team? She just raked their names over the coals and it turned out they were falsely accused--completely innocent. I sure hope they sue her, too if the statute of limitations has not already run!

She says she had children late in life because of her career, but what the hel* kind of career is this? If this is all I could drum up as a lawyer, I'd have stayed home! At least being a housewife has some social value...

If you believe in justice for all, as I do, don't watch Nancy Grace! She is evil!

And please don't forget Trenton Duckett! Nancy's interference in this case, and the resulting suicide of Melinda Duckett have basically stalled the investigation forever. Now Trenton's father and grandparents will probably never know what happened to this precious little boy. There is an official Trenton Duckett website at http://www.helpfindtrenton.com./

Best Wishes,

Jennifer

Petit Family Murders

2010-11-08T12:10:00.000-08:00

Here is a New York Times article about a beautiful family that was destroyed due to the actions of desperate, greedy criminals. Anyone could end up a victim of a horrible crime, as long as there are bad people around. And there are always bad people around. These repeat offenders might never have gotten the chance to ruin the Petit's lives, had they not received previous leniency by "the system". But I once read that a person's future behavior is best predicted by his or her past behavior. This seems like a reasonable formula to me. However, many people in our justice system believe in rehabilitation and second and third chances. Sometimes it works, but I fear that more often, leniency towards repeat offenders just makes for more victims. This is certainly the case here....

As a police officer approached the home of the Petit family in Cheshire, Conn., on the morning of July 23, 2007, two men ran from the scene as flames poured out of the house. They were quickly apprehended.

When officers returned to the house they found Dr. William A. Petit Jr., 50; who had been severely beaten, and the bodies of his wife, Jennifer Hawke-Petit, 48; and their daughters, Hayley, 17, and Michaela, 11. The police said that the victims had been tied up in separate rooms, and that Ms. Hawke-Petit and one of the daughters were sexually assaulted before the house was set on fire.

The shock the killings caused in the bucolic community was amplified by the prominence of the victims: Dr. Petit is a well-known endocrinologist and his wife had been active in fund-raising for local causes. And word that the two suspects arrested at the scene were both convicted felons out on parole led to new questions being raised about the state's methods of tracking parolees.

More than three years later, on Oct. 5, 2010, one of the suspects, Steven J. Hayes, was convicted for his part in the brutal invasion. The jury deliberated less than one full day before reaching a verdict, after hearing weeks of often gruesome testimony, and with more than 200 pieces of trial exhibits to sift through. On Nov. 8th, the jury voted to impose the death penalty on Mr. Hayes.

The other defendant in the case, Joshua Komisarjevsky, has yet to be tried.

Read More...

Mr. Hayes, the testimony showed, described his eager anticipation of the crime with an “LOL” — laughing out loud — text message hours before taking part in murder, rape, kidnapping and arson at the home on Sorghum Mill Drive. He was convicted of 16 of 17 crimes in all, but acquitted of arson.

Of those, six are crimes that make Mr. Hayes eligible for the death penalty. The same jury that sat during the three-week trial is now to begin a penalty phase to determine whether Mr. Hayes, 47, is to be sentenced to death. The trial is to continue on Oct. 18 with the penalty phase, which could last a month.

The lead defense lawyer, Thomas J. Ullmann, conceded that Mr. Hayes had committed a series of crimes, including the murder and rape of the mother of the family, kidnapping all four members of the family and committing larceny and burglary. But he made several arguments intended to persuade the jurors not to convict Mr. Hayes of the six capital counts.

The testimony showed that Mr. Komisarjevsky, of Cheshire, and Mr. Hayes, of Winsted, entered the Petit house in the middle of the night, beat and restrained the father, Dr. Petit, and forced Ms. Hawke-Petit to come with them to a local bank and withdraw $15,000. She was able to alert bank employees, who called the police. The two then wreaked havoc, including the rape and strangulation of Ms. Hawke-Petit and setting the house ablaze.

Dr. Petit survived and testified at the trial. He has called for the execution of Mr. Hayes and Mr. Komisarjevsky, whose trial will likely occur next year. The Cheshire case has played a central part in a debate in Connecticut about whether to repeal the capital punishment law.

Home-Grown Criminals

The two men met at a Connecticut halfway house for parolees.

One of them, Mr. Komisarjevsky, is from a well-known family from the Cheshire area. His grandfather, Theodore Komisarjevsky, who died in 1954, was a celebrated theatrical figure in Russia before the Bolshevik Revolution, and his grandmother, Ernestine Stodelle, was a prominent modern dancer.

One of Theodore and Ernestine's sons, Christopher Komisarjevsky, went on to run Burson-Marsteller, the public relations firm. Another son, Benedict, who became an electrical contractor in Cheshire, is the father of the defendant.

The trial's first day did not feature the most gruesome of the crime scene photographs lawyers had told the 12 jurors and 4 alternates to expect. It was instead something of a gentle entry into the home-invasion narrative that became fodder for national magazines and crime shows. There were photographs of the well-kept neighborhood including Sorghum Mill Drive and just one of the yellow flames licking the roof of the Petits’ house.

The prosecutor, Michael Dearington, said he would not give the jurors a road map to his case. Everyone more or less already has that, he suggested. Yet the defense sketched out its case more than it had before. In an opening statement, Mr. Hayes’s lawyer Thomas J. Ullmann conceded some of the most damaging facts, the killings and the sexual assault of Ms. Hawke-Petit.

But, he said, “No one was supposed to get hurt.” He quoted Mr. Hayes’s telling a police officer in the first chaotic moments after his capture that “things got way out of control.” And he made it plain that Mr. Hayes contends that it was Mr. Komisarjevsky who turned what was to be a reckless robbery into something else.

The Father’s Testimony

In his testimony in September 2010, Dr. Petit said he had been tied up all night, and had not heard much from upstairs, where the two men were holding his family. Coming into consciousness, he said, he may have shouted something — perhaps “Hey!”

“Don’t worry,” he said a voice responded. “It’s all going to be over in a couple of minutes.”

When he described his own woozy condition through those hours, Dr. Petit, a diabetes specialist, sometimes spoke in medical jargon. He mentioned his hemoglobin level before the crime and compared it with the count taken after, when he was treated for multiple head wounds and extensive blood loss.

He said he was alert when he heard the chilling prediction that it would all be over soon. The spraying he heard but could not identify turned out, perhaps, to be the gasoline the intruders used to set fire to the house.

Dr. Petit told jurors that he broke his hands free after working the plastic bindings and rope for some time, but his feet were still tied tightly. He said he knew he had to move quickly, thinking that the men were going to shoot them all. He hopped out through a basement door, rolling across the grass to get help from a neighbor.

Dr. Petit's neighbor testified in September how he found a bloody, almost unrecognizable, Dr. Petit in his driveway as flames burst from the house.

Martinstag

2010-11-06T21:53:00.000-07:00

We were privileged to celebrate St. Martin's Day with our German moms and kids group (Kinderspielgruppe). It was a lot of fun. You make lanterns to celebrate the holiday. Our lantern was a papier mache globe made out of a baloon, Mod Podge and tissue paper. Little Charles thought it was a pinata and whacked it incessantly. Believe me, our lantern had nothing in common with the beautiful, creative ones pictured here! LOL Well, maybe next year we can do better!

Happy Halloween!

2010-10-31T05:16:00.000-07:00

Well, my husband is nothing if not creative. Here's a self-made Halloween fixture, constructed out of an old martial arts dummy, some of my husband's old clothes, and a Halloween mask purchased at Rite Aid. It's holding a beer I scavenged up on one of my hikes!

Happy Halloween. Be safe!

Jen :)

An Investment Better Than Any 401k Plan!

2010-10-22T15:15:00.000-07:00

You know, there is one fool-proof investment that will pay you dividends for your entire life--you cannot possibly go wrong! Since no monetary investment could fit this bill, you must realize I'm not talking about money! Rather, I'm referring to an investment in your own health and well being.

People talk ceaselessly about money, watch the evening news, listen to money advice shows on the radio, read about, and talk to each other about investments, in hopes of finding some good financial advice.

Almost no one mentions that investing in your health is also an excellent financial investment. But think about this--if you are willing to pursue physical fitness, eat healthy foods, and keep stress low, you are making a good investment of your time and effort that will bring almost immediate returns, and by doing so you are also certainly making an investment in your future.

The fact is that illness is expensive. Not only do doctor's bills drain your bank account, but what about lost time away from work? That's very costly right there. Whatever your profession is, your body (rather than your laptop!) is your portable workstation.

Exercise is very important. I read a book by Thomas Perls, M.D., M.P.H., about centenarians. They were all active people who had maintained a steady and healthy weight throughout their lives. Many of these centenarians were farmers who did a lot of the work themselves--I was not surprised to read this for two reasons. One, you keep active on a farm with all the chores, and two, working with plants and animals reduces stress.

There are lots of ways to keep active. Just taking walks is a good and inexpensive way to get some exercise. You can also get a really inexpensive membership to the YMCA and take any number of their huge variety of exercise classes, swim laps in the pool, and work out on your own in their gym. One day I want to teach exercise classes at the Y!

It helps to consider all different kinds of activities. You don't actually need to go to a gym to take a yoga class--you can purchase a DVD or download a program that looks appealing to you. I look forward to a relaxing half hour of tai chi every night through a DVD I bought at Target! While I would rather take a class in person, the reality is, my time is very limited. DVDs help me fit in more exercise than I had ever thought possible!

Other things from the centenarian study....

The centenarians ate well. That seems kind of obvious. We all know what we need to eat more of (things like organic fruits and vegetables) and things we should eat less of (processed foods, tons of meat). It is hard, but with a little planning it is very possible. Trader Joe's is a good place to start if you happen to live near one. It's a supermarket chain with lots of ready foods that are not too processed. You can buy bags of pre-washed lettuce at Trader Joe's and mix up your own dressing at home.

The centenarians also had good mental health. They tended to deal with stress well, and they were not vain or neurotic. This all makes sense, too. I'll bet most of these people were nice, which inspired others to visit with them, and want to spend time with them. Human beings were not meant to be alone, and if we are nice, we can ensure that other people will always want to be around us, which leads to better mental health in the long run.

These days when few people have actual dollars, we might do well to turn our focus to investing in our health. People talk about saving money for a rainy day, but few of us think about the devastating personal and financial costs of illness. Whenever I meet people who are suffering from preventable illnesses, and have lost all their money along with their health, I know they would have done things differently, if they had it to do over.

Best Wishes,

Jen :)

Are our Healthcare Professionals Fighting Disease or Social Injustice?

2010-10-18T11:05:00.000-07:00

I fear that a lot of information that is vital to our health is being withheld from us--and a lot of misinformation is being disseminated--for the sake of political correctness. But shouldn't our healthcare providers--and EVERYONE ELSE--be more concerned about fighting disease than fighting perceived social injustice?

Here's an e-mail I received from a physician acquaintance of mine this morning:

Komen for the Cure Donated $7.5M to Planned Parenthood Abortion Biz in 2009

Regarding the following:

The Komen Foundation has got to be the most clueless organization in the world. Giving money to Planned Parenthood which heads the list for breast cancer risks. Personally, I think they know, but just do not care, which makes Komen a BIG JOKE.

Frank Joseph MD

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Komen for the Cure Donated $7.5M to Planned Parenthood Abortion Biz in 2009

by Steven Ertelt
LifeNews.com Editor

October 12, 2010

Washington, DC (LifeNews.com) -- October is the month for breast cancer awareness, but it's difficult for pro-life advocates to lend their support to one of the primary organizations involved in the fight against breast cancer because it has provided contributions to the Planned parenthood abortion business.

The Susan G. Komen for the Cure Foundation has long denied that abortion plays any role in elevating the risk for women of contracting the deadly disease.

That's despite a wealth of research over decades showing an average increased risk of about 40 percent for women having abortions compared to those who carry their pregnancy to term.

But the contributions Komen affiliates make to Planned Parenthood, which does more than 25 percent of all abortions in the United States and aggressively promotes abortion abroad, provide another sources of frustration for pro-life people who otherwise would support the group.

In a new interview with the Daily Caller, Komen spokesman John Hammarley provided the latest figures showing the link between the two groups.

He confirmed 20 of Komen’s 122 affiliates have made donations to Planned Parenthood and, last year, those contributions totaled $7.5 million -- much higher than the $731,000 Komen's figures on its web site showed earlier this year.

Hammarley sought to play down the funding by saying it's a small percentage of Komen's income or expenses.

“That $7.5 million is less than one percent of the entire amount of community grant funding that affiliates around the country contribute,” Hammarley said.

He also told the Daily Caller that the funding is closely monitored to ensure the money does not go to pay for abortions directly, but breast cancer screening projects Planned Parenthood sponsors. But, for pro-life advocates, how Planned Parenthood uses the money is less important than the fact that the abortion business receives the funds and doesn't have to use money it makes from abortions to pay for the screenings.

“No matter whether they are giving $500,000 a year to Planned Parenthood, or $5, people who respect the dignity of human life and are trying to save people with disease don't want any part of their money going to an organization that is subsidizing an abortion provider,” Bioethics Defense Fund attorney Dorinda Bordlee told the news web site.

Another problem for pro-life advocates is the fact that Planned Parenthood is reducing the number of breast cancer screenings while increasing its abortions.

According to the 2008 Annual Report from Planned Parenthood, breast cancer services decreased by 4% and abortion procedures increased by 6%.

The longtime ties between Komen and Planned Parenthood may have resulted in some backlash from the pro-life community. The Komen annual report reveals Komen brought in almost $22 million less, or 6% less, in 2009 than it made in 2008. That could be a result of the difficult economic times or may also come as a result of pro-life advocates increasingly boycotting Komen.

Meanwhile, the newest research on the link between abortion and breast cancer reveals abortion certainly plays a role in increasing the breast cancer risk.

A January 2010 study called abortion a "known risk factor" for breast cancer and cited a study conducted by the prestigious Janet Daling group of the Fred Hutchinson Cancer Research Center in Seattle.

Daling and her colleagues showed between a 20 and 50 percent increased breast cancer risk for women having abortions compare to those who carried their pregnancies to term.

And microbiologist Dr. Gerard Nadal, who has a PhD in Molecular Microbiology from St John's University in New York, has spent 16 years teaching science, most recently at Manhattan College, has been profiling more than 100 studies on his blog showing abortion's link to breast cancer.

Beautiful Penmanship

2010-10-08T10:48:00.000-07:00

There's nothing like receiving a handwritten letter. An e-mail or a typed letter just can't compare. In fact, marketers often use typeface that looks like some one's handwriting--it just grabs the attention, providing visual appeal that makes the recipient more likely to open the envelope.

To my mind, nothing can compare with beautiful penmanship! I'm not the only one who thinks so, either, apparently. Did you ever see that fascinating movie, The Bad Seed, starring Patty McCormack? It was a bit like watching a play being filmed, but the effect is still good.

Anyway, when I learned cursive, the nuns who were teaching it referred to it as "handwriting." I only became familiar with the term "penmanship" when I saw The Bad Seed. The sociopathic little girl Rhoda Penmark (could this name be a coincidence? LOL) is upset that the penmanship medal at her school ends up going to a boy named Claude Daigle. Rhoda, bad seed that she is, decides to take matters into her own hands and kills poor little Claude. Rhoda values her penmanship skills so highly that she is willing to kill for the medal.

While pursuing a penmanship medal (by any means necessary!) is kind of extreme, good penmanship has a real value. For example, the late Princess Diana is said to have been accepted to her private boarding school on the basis of her beautiful penmanship. I have always admired beautiful script, and practice my handwriting a lot--mostly by my journal writing. But recently I had wanted some feedback about my handwriting--particularly my signature, which I have to sign at work sometimes hundreds of times per day. I wanted to ask someone how I could streamline my signature and still have it be legible. Was that even possible?

Anyway, I got online and found Kate Gladstone at www.handwritingrepair.com. For a small fee, Ms. Gladstone will critique your handwriting and let you know how it can be improved. She helped me come up with a reasonable solution for my signature--to sign "J. Aragon", which is quicker than writing out "Jennifer Ann Aragon" every time. We also worked on my slant. What can I say? I am a bit of a handwriting fanatic! LOL But in all seriousness, I want my kids to have good penmanship--I hope I can play my cards right in this respect and make them realize the true value of beautiful, legible writing.

Here's an article I found online regarding penmanship from the Wall Street Journal:

The Wall Street Journal Online.

By GWENDOLYN BOUNDS
Ask preschooler Zane Pike to write his name or the alphabet, then watch this 4-year-old's stubborn side kick in. He spurns practice at school and tosses aside workbooks at home. But Angie Pike, Zane's mom, persists, believing that handwriting is a building block to learning.

Wendy Bounds discusses the fading art of handwriting, pointing out that new research shows it can benefit children's motor skills and their ability to compose ideas and achieve goals throughout life.

Gwendolyn Bounds reports on what your handwriting says about your brain and everything else.
She's right. Using advanced tools such as magnetic resonance imaging, researchers are finding that writing by hand is more than just a way to communicate. The practice helps with learning letters and shapes, can improve idea composition and expression, and may aid fine motor-skill development.

It's not just children who benefit. Adults studying new symbols, such as Chinese characters, might enhance recognition by writing the characters by hand, researchers say. Some physicians say handwriting could be a good cognitive exercise for baby boomers working to keep their minds sharp as they age.

Studies suggest there's real value in learning and maintaining this ancient skill, even as we increasingly communicate electronically via keyboards big and small. Indeed, technology often gets blamed for handwriting's demise. But in an interesting twist, new software for touch-screen devices, such as the iPad, is starting to reinvigorate the practice.

Four-year-old Zane Pike used to toss aside his handwriting books. Now, the Cabot, Ark., preschooler is learning to write his letters using a smartphone application.
Most schools still include conventional handwriting instruction in their primary-grade curriculum, but today that amounts to just over an hour a week, according to Zaner-Bloser Inc., one of the nation's largest handwriting-curriculum publishers. Even at institutions that make it a strong priority, such as the private Brearley School in New York City, "some parents say, 'I can't believe you are wasting a minute on this,'" says Linda Boldt, the school's head of learning skills.

Recent research illustrates how writing by hand engages the brain in learning. During one study at Indiana University published this year, researchers invited children to man a "spaceship," actually an MRI machine using a specialized scan called "functional" MRI that spots neural activity in the brain. The kids were shown letters before and after receiving different letter-learning instruction. In children who had practiced printing by hand, the neural activity was far more enhanced and "adult-like" than in those who had simply looked at letters.

"It seems there is something really important about manually manipulating and drawing out two-dimensional things we see all the time," says Karin Harman James, assistant professor of psychology and neuroscience at Indiana University who led the study.

The Juggle: In Digital Age, Does Handwriting Still Matter?
Adults may benefit similarly when learning a new graphically different language, such as Mandarin, or symbol systems for mathematics, music and chemistry, Dr. James says. For instance, in a 2008 study in the Journal of Cognitive Neuroscience, adults were asked to distinguish between new characters and a mirror image of them after producing the characters using pen-and-paper writing and a computer keyboard. The result: For those writing by hand, there was stronger and longer-lasting recognition of the characters' proper orientation, suggesting that the specific movements memorized when learning how to write aided the visual identification of graphic shapes.

Other research highlights the hand's unique relationship with the brain when it comes to composing thoughts and ideas. Virginia Berninger, a professor of educational psychology at the University of Washington, says handwriting differs from typing because it requires executing sequential strokes to form a letter, whereas keyboarding involves selecting a whole letter by touching a key.

She says pictures of the brain have illustrated that sequential finger movements activated massive regions involved in thinking, language and working memory—the system for temporarily storing and managing information.

And one recent study of hers demonstrated that in grades two, four and six, children wrote more words, faster, and expressed more ideas when writing essays by hand versus with a keyboard.

For research at Indiana University, children undergo specialized MRI brain scans that spot neurological activity.
Even in the digital age, people remain enthralled by handwriting for myriad reasons—the intimacy implied by a loved one's script, or what the slant and shape of letters might reveal about personality. During actress Lindsay Lohan's probation violation court appearance this summer, a swarm of handwriting experts proffered analysis of her blocky courtroom scribbling. "Projecting a false image" and "crossing boundaries," concluded two on celebrity news and entertainment site hollywoodlife.com. Beyond identifying personality traits through handwriting, called graphology, some doctors treating neurological disorders say handwriting can be an early diagnostic tool.

"Some patients bring in journals from the years, and you can see dramatic change from when they were 55 and doing fine and now at 70," says P. Murali Doraiswamy, a neuroscientist at Duke University. "As more people lose writing skills and migrate to the computer, retraining people in handwriting skills could be a useful cognitive exercise."

In high schools, where laptops are increasingly used, handwriting still matters. In the essay section of SAT college-entrance exams, scorers unable to read a student's writing can assign that portion an "illegible" score of 0.

Even legible handwriting that's messy can have its own ramifications, says Steve Graham, professor of education at Vanderbilt University. He cites several studies indicating that good handwriting can take a generic classroom test score from the 50th percentile to the 84th percentile, while bad penmanship could tank it to the 16th. "There is a reader effect that is insidious," Dr. Graham says. "People judge the quality of your ideas based on your handwriting."

Handwriting-curriculum creators say they're seeing renewed interest among parents looking to hone older children's skills—or even their own penmanship. Nan Barchowsky, who developed the Barchowsky Fluent Handwriting method to ease transition from print-script to joined cursive letters, says she's sold more than 1,500 copies of "Fix It … Write" in the past year.

Some high-tech allies also are giving the practice an unexpected boost through hand-held gadgets like smartphones and tablets. Dan Feather, a graphic designer and computer consultant in Nashville, Tenn., says he's "never adapted well to the keypads on little devices." Instead, he uses a $3.99 application called "WritePad" on his iPhone. It accepts handwriting input with a finger or stylus, then converts it to text for email, documents or Twitter updates.

And apps are helping Zane Pike—the 4-year-old who refused to practice his letters. The Cabot, Ark., boy won't put down his mom's iPhone, where she's downloaded a $1.99 app called "abc PocketPhonics." The program instructs Zane to draw letters with his finger or a stylus; correct movements earn him cheering pencils.

Indiana University

In children who had practiced writing by hand, the scans showed heightened brain activity in a key area, circled on the image at right, indicating learning took place.
"He thinks it's a game," says Angie Pike.

Similarly, kindergartners at Harford Day School in Bel Air, Md., are taught to write on paper but recently also began tracing letter shapes on the screen of an iPad using a handwriting app.

"Children will be using technology unlike I did, and it's important for teachers to be familiar with it," says Kay Crocker, the school's lead kindergarten teacher. Regardless of the input method, she says, "You still need to be able to write, and someone needs to be able to read it."

Write to Gwendolyn Bounds at wendy.bounds@wsj.com

Copyright 2009 Dow Jones & Company, Inc. All Rights Reserved

This copy is for your personal, non-commercial use only.

The Brothers Peyton

2010-10-03T08:01:00.000-07:00

I am so happy that my little boys get along so well. Of course, they are very young, but so far so good. LC, the older one, tries to make his little brother laugh. When the little one cries, LC will tell him, "Don't cry, Joey. We love you!" Then LC will kiss his little brother. It's so endearing. And such a relief! And Joey smiles a lot at his older brother. I think they'll grow up being friends!

Here is a set of photos we had taken yesterday at Target. They're having a 50% off sale at the Target photo studios, so this was a significant savings. The prices at Target are already very reasonable, so we feel we made out like bandits!

Best Wishes,

Jen :)

The Happy Family

2010-10-01T17:06:00.000-07:00

More Public Humiliation...Want to Commit Suicide Anyone?

2010-09-29T15:25:00.000-07:00

People should be very careful with their behavior--careful about how they treat others. But they're not. Two reality tv contestants on caustic tv Chef Gordon Ramsay's shows recently committed suicide. They might have already been predisposed to depression, but perhaps (and it is not unreasonable to assume) the public humiliation of appearing on reality tv (under Gordon Ramsay's thumb)pushed them over the edge.

Recently, a teacher with the LA Unified School District committed suicide, because the District had posted negative reviews about this person's teaching abilities on the Internet. I hope the district gets sued for big bucks by the deceased's survivors. Perhaps if this teacher really was sub-par, administrators could have handled it privately, preserving the person's basic human dignity. But no one considered that, and now a human being is dead.

Judge Judy is one of the least attractive women I've seen. It cannot have been easy for her growing up in a culture where unattractive women are not esteemed--she knows it, and she's bitter about it. I belive that being a lesser-looker has influenced Judge Judy's personality for the worse. One of her favorite sayings is "Beauty fades, dumb is forever." You know, I can just imagine her as a homely young girl, and maybe her father telling her that she doesn't have to be pretty--she's smart! And smart is better than pretty...

Beauty may fade, but an evil character never does--it is more "forever" than even a low I.Q. Judge Judy, so determined to prove (even as an elderly woman) that she is the smartest girl in the class, has made a career out of humiliating people on her sham of a courtroom show.

And the show is a SCAM. All judgments are paid by the production company, Big Ticket Pictures. What happens is that the shows producers send employees to comb through the small claims files in various judicial districts. If a case looks interesting, the parties are sent a solicitation form asking them if they'd like to be on the show.

Of course, it is not a real courtroom and Judy (that smart gal!) is not acting in the capacity of a judge, but as an arbitrator. The "bailiff" has no more authority than the ice cream man. But the show makes it seem like the "bailiff" might haul rowdy litigants off to jail at any moment....

It is all bogus, and all for show. The show takes all of the documentation ahead of time, picks a side to win and then writes up a script for Judge Judy to follow, though she is of course, able to ad lib with more humiliation--the more humiliating the better! Are you a better-looking woman than Judge Judy? Watch out! She'll remind you that your beauty will fade, but she'll be brilliant forever!

Anyway, then the producers feed the lines to the litigants to get a better show. They also tell the litigants to lie on camera. Sounds unethical, doesn't it? But millions of viewers are fooled into believing that an embittered, frustrated, homely woman in a purchased robe is administrating justice.

People go on the show assuming that they will get a fair shake. What they get is a public record of their humiliation, to be played over and over on Youtube, or other websites.

I have personally known three people to be Judge Judy victims. Two of the guys were able to brush it off, but one man felt suicidal from all the ridicule. People were blogging about him, and leaving comments about what a loser he was 40 years ago in elementary school.

We are our brothers' keepers. There are eternal consequences for shaming people into suicide. We should never forget that.

I often ask myself why these shows are popular? Why are websites getting meaner and meaner? It's one thing to attack celebrities like Brad and Angelina (though this is bad enough) but why attack their innocent children? Few of us are willing to acknowledge that these shows, tabloids and websites are so amusing because of the tremendous psychological gratification in seeing someone else's social status decline.

You know the old saying, "Let it begin with me?" I have my own take on the matter--"Let the public humiliation end with me."

Best Wishes,

Jen :)

Another Cyber-Humiliation-Related Death

2010-09-29T13:46:00.000-07:00

Sad, just sad. And evil, too. When will people every learn that others are entitled to their privacy? Why would you post someone in an intimate moment on the Internet? This kind of humilation can and does lead to suicide.

Posted: 8:20 AM, September 29, 2010

A Rutgers University freshman who had his privacy violated after two classmates allegedly filmed him during a "sexual encounter" and posted it on the Internet committed suicide by jumping off the George Washington Bridge, authorities said.

Tyler Clementi, 18, of Ridgewood, NJ, is believed to have jumped from the bridge last Wednesday night after learning that the images of him with a man had been streamed live on the Internet, authorities said today.

Clementi had shockingly posted the message, "Going to jump off the GW Bridge. Sorry," on his Facebook page last week, according to a student who knew him.

Ridgewood, NJ-native Tyler Clementi, 18, is believed to have committed suicide.

Dharun Ravi is accused of secretly filming his roommate, Tyler Clementi.
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That student said that Clementi, who lived in the same dorm, had posted that message just two minutes after installing an application on his handheld device that allowed him to send messages to Facebook from that device.

"He was a shy guy," the student said. "He seemed like a nice guy. From conversation with him, it seemed like he needed someone to open up to."

Two other Rutgers students, Dharun Ravi and Molly Wei, both 18, have been charged with illegally taping another student having sex and posting the images on the Internet.

Clementi's car was reportedly found nearby with his cell phone and computer inside, authorities told WPIX-TV.

The Middlesex County Prosecutor's Office charged Ravi and Wei with invasion of privacy for allegedly placing a camera inside the student's dorm room.

Three days before the suicide, Ravi posted on his Twitter account that Clementi, his roommate, wanted some privacy.

"Roommate asked for the room till midnight. I went into Molly's room and turned on my webcam. I saw him making out with a dude. Yay," he wrote.

Collecting or viewing sexual images without consent is a fourth-degree crime. Transmitting them is a third-degree crime with a maximum prison term of five years.

An investigation began after someone alerted the campus police that the camera had been placed in the student's dorm room without permission, said Middlesex County Prosecutor Bruce Kaplan.

The tip led to the arrest of Wei and Ravi.

Kaplan said the pair used the camera to view and transmit a live image of the student on Sept. 19.

Ravi has been charged with two additional counts of invasion of privacy for allegedly trying to transmit another encounter involving the same student on Sept. 21.

Ravi was freed on $25,000 bail and Wei was released on her own recognizance after the suspects surrendered to campus police.

In a statement Rutgers University spokeswoman Sandy Lanman said the school "takes these matters seriously and has policies to deal with student behavior."

Clementi's family refused to answer their door today when a reporter knocked this afternoon.

In a statement, the family said it "is heartbroken beyond words."

A friend of Clementi described him as a gifted musician who kept to himself.

"He was quiet, very polite and a wonderful violinist," said a friend, who did not want to be named. "I didn't know anything about his personal life. He was very reserved. He was very well-regarded. He played all through high school. As far as I know he was looking forward to college. This is terribly sad. I can't imagine how devastated his family is."

Lauren Garcia, 18, a biology major, said she saw Clementi at 5 p.m. the day he disappeared as he was leaving the dorm.

"He had his iPod in his ear and just had this blank stare on his face. I smiled at him and he smiled back at me," she said. "It's really devastating ... we weren't even here a whole month and somebody's gone."

Travel Light and Sing in the Robber's Face

2010-09-28T22:24:00.000-07:00

Juvenal, a late 1st Century/early 2nd Century Roman poet wrote, "Travel light and sing in the Robber's Face." Good advice, even today! I love to travel and used to do so frequently. But that was before I had two small children. (Children don't travel as well as I thought they might before I had them!)LOL

Anyway, I was thinking about my traveling days, and how I was able to stuff two weeks worth of essentials into a small carry-on suitcase. Here are some tips:

1) Layer! If you can layer your clothes you'll potentially save a lot of suitcase space. For example, by using thermals as your first layer, you can probably avoid having to take a really heavy coat. Unless, of course, you're going somewhere really cold!

2) Coordinate your clothing around one or two colors that blend harmoniously. Black and white work well. Everything should mix and match.

3) Shoes take up a lot of space, so only take 2-3 pairs, all of which should be able to do double duty. For example, ballet flats can be worn during the day and for dressier night-time outings, too. Actual ballet slippers are good for exercising in your hotel room, and good as house slippers, too. Also, I wear my hiking boots right on the plane rather than packing them and taking up valuable suitcase space.

4) Bring along some laundry detergent. I like Ecover's stain remover which, when diluted, is a nice little detergent for washing things in the sink. If you can wash your own clothes, no need to bring 100 pairs of everything, right?

5) Scarves are a terrific accessory to bring along, because they take up so little space, and they can change the look of an outfit with little effort. (BTW, you don't have to be French to learn how to wear scarves stylishly!) I prefer these to expensive jewelry while traveling. It's not good to flash your wealth when you travel, or even when you are not traveling. You never know what can set people off, especially in these desperate economic times. You don't want the robbers to end up laughing in your face, after all....

6) Roll, rather than fold, your clothes. It saves space. Really, it does.

Well, those are my tips. Carry-on luggage is infinitely preferable to checked baggage. There are no fees, and little chance of your luggage getting lost or damaged if you can stow it in the overhead compartment above your seat.

And last but not least, I thought I'd mention that though I love to travel, I really do hate to fly! What this country needs is a better rail system. I hope it's forthcoming.

A wise African-American woman once told me this--"When a train stops, there you is. When a plane stops, there you ain't!" Enough said.

Best Wishes,

Jen :)

Shocking Corruption in the City of Bell!

2010-09-22T14:03:00.000-07:00

Political corruption is the use of legislated powers by government officials for illegitimate private gain. While there's nothing wrong with earning a high salary, provided you earn it, I'd say that $800,000.00 per year for a city manager (for a relatively small city like Bell, especially!) is definitely illegitimate. Read on for more information about shocking on-the-graft salaries, unauthorized personal loans and more politicians who are up to no good....

On second thought, I suppose I shouldn't be shocked by this recent case of corruption. Politicians are often corrupt. But I am still shocked. How can these politicians ever hold their heads up in public again?

A word to the wise--an elderly woman I once knew cautioned me to never do anything I wouldn't want my children to later find out about. That's pretty good advice! I'm going to pass it on to my kids someday.

AP LOS ANGELES (Sept. 21) - The mayor and ex-city manager of the Los Angeles suburb of Bell were among eight current and former city officials arrested Tuesday in a corruption scandal that authorities said cost the blue-collar city more than $5.5 million in excessive salaries and illegal personal loans.

Kevork Djansezian, Getty Images
Pictures of current and former Bell, Calif., council members who were arrested on corruption charges, including Mayor Oscar Hernandez, top right, were shown following a news conference Tuesday in Los Angeles.The district attorney's office said several former and current City Council members were taken into custody along with ex-city manager Robert Rizzo and Mayor Oscar Hernandez.

"This, needless to say, is corruption on steroids," District Attorney Steve Cooley said at a news conference, standing next to a display of pictures of the suspects.

Rizzo, who was making nearly $800,000 a year, was booked on 53 counts of misappropriation of public funds and conflict of interest. He was expected to be arraigned Wednesday, with officials seeking bail of $3.2 million.

Rizzo could face several years in prison if convicted, Cooley said. Messages left at Rizzo's home and with his attorney were not immediately returned.

Others taken into custody were former assistant city manager Angela Spaccia, Vice Mayor Teresa Jacobo, council members George Mirabal and Luis Artiga, and former council members George Cole and Victor Bello.

Requested bail amounts ranged from $377,500 for Spaccia to $130,000 for Cole, based on the amounts each was accused of misappropriating in the city where one in six people live in poverty.

Former Police Chief Randy Adams, who was also scrutinized in the salary scandal, was not arrested.

Cooley, who knew Adams when he was the police chief in Glendale, said Adams was paid $457,000 a year but there was no evidence he obtained that salary illegally.

"Being paid excessive salaries is not a crime," Cooley said. "Illegally obtaining those salaries is a crime."

Prosecutors allege the suspects misappropriated more than $5.5 million.

The complaint said Rizzo made $4.3 million by paying himself through different employment contracts that were not approved by the City Council, and that council members paid themselves a combined $1.25 million for what Cooley called "phantom meetings" of various city boards and agencies.

Rizzo also was accused of giving $1.9 million in loans to himself, Spaccia, Hernandez, Artiga and dozens of others, authorities said.

Cooley said his office had been investigating the officials since March - four months before the public learned they were paying themselves huge salaries to run the city of 40,000 people.

"They used the taxes of the hardworking citizens of Bell as their own piggy bank, which they looted," the district attorney said.

He added that his investigators have pored over more than 60,000 pages of documents and more people could be charged.

Most of the arrests went smoothly, though police briefly used a battering ram at the home of Hernandez before he responded and opened the door. The door was not knocked down.

The suspects were booked into county facilities and will be kept away from other inmates for their protection, sheriff's spokesman Steve Whitmore said.

The arrests were the latest twist in a scandal that emerged in July with the disclosure that Rizzo was paid almost twice the salary of President Barack Obama.

It also was revealed that Adams was making $150,000 more than the chief of the Los Angeles Police Department, and Spaccia was paid $376,288. Four of the five City Council members paid themselves nearly $100,000 a year for their part-time service.

Rizzo, Adams and Spaccia resigned and the council members reduced their salaries to about $8,000 following the disclosures and angry public reaction.

The four council members are currently the target of a recall.

Bell's interim chief administrative officer Pedro Carrillo said the arrests marked a sad day for the city.
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"It is clear that Rizzo and Spaccia were at the root of the cancer that has afflicted the city," he said.

Last week, Attorney General Jerry Brown sued eight current and former officials of Bell, accusing them of defrauding taxpayers by granting themselves salaries he said were far higher than warranted for the jobs they were doing.

Artiga was not named in the lawsuit but Adams was.

Earlier this month Bell officials confirmed the city was also the target of a racial profiling investigation by the federal government for allegedly targeting young Hispanic drivers for traffic stops to raise revenue.

Associated Press Writer Thomas Watkins contributed to this report.
Filed under: Nation, Crime, Top StoriesTagged: angela spaccia, bell, bell mayor arrested, corruption, george cole, george mirabal, luis artiga, oscar hernandez, robert rizzo, salary scandal, steve cooley, teresa jacobo, victor bello
Copyright 2010 The Associated Press. The information contained in the AP news report may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or otherwise distributed without the prior written authority of The Associated Press. Active hyperlinks have been inserted by AOL.

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LBD

2010-09-18T22:09:00.000-07:00

LBD is an acronym that stands for "Little Black Dress." But in our family, LBD means "Little Black Dog"--that would be Chacha, our cute little min pin. She's very protective of our family, and sometimes, the hair on her back will stand straight up. But this evening, a friend of ours, Jim, came over and all of Chacha's hair seemed to be standing up. In fact, she no longer looked like an oblong-shaped dog--she looked completely round, like the dust ball from that Japanese Totoro movie! It was hilarious!

Chacha calmed down once she made friends with Jim, and then she no longer looked like a dust ball. LOL!

Best Wishes,

Jen :)

Nulla dies sine linea

2010-09-15T06:24:00.000-07:00

I've been reading some books about journal-keeping. One old journal I read about contained this Latin inscription on its first page--"Nulla dies sine linea" (No day without a line).

Actually, this is a very good way to think of your obligation to write in your journal. I plan on an entry every day, and I sit down and do it after my children are in bed, fast asleep. It's a nice ritual to observe, and it helps me put things into perspective. Also, I am able to write down cute things my kids said or did. One day they'll enjoy reading over my old journals with me, reminding us of things we otherwise might have forgotten.

Sometimes when I re-read old entries, like the ones I was re-reading last night from a 2004 trip to Germany, I am transported back where I was when I originally wrote the entry. I can see the elderly woman walking her dachshunds along the lake, and hear Germans arguing stridently about something I want to close my ears to, but can't. *sigh* Sure brings back memories!

And don't published diaries do the same thing? They are history that cannot be experienced through textbooks or scholarly journal articles. When I originally read Anne Frank's diary, I felt like I could see into the small apartment they were hiding in. I actually felt like I was there. One day, I hope to take my kids to see the museum they have set up in Holland of the back house (Het Achterhuis) where Anne and her family and various others were hidden during Nazi times.

Anyway, if you want to keep a journal, don't let anything stop you. Just commit yourself to one line per day and see where you go from there. If I can do it, so can you!

Best Wishes,

Jen :)

Labor Day--Not Just the Last Day of Summer!

2010-09-13T11:57:00.000-07:00

I know that Labor Day (pictured is a monument to Labor Day) was last Monday, but I am working so much these days that every day seems like Labor Day. But since I'm busy doing productive and things, it doesn't seem so bad. However, one day I hope to slow down!

Best Wishes,

Jen :)

Tove Ditlevsen

2010-09-03T22:56:00.000-07:00

Tove Ditlevsen was a Danish poet and author who lived from 1917-1976. She grew up in a working-class neighborhood in an unhappy family. Ditlevsen's writing focused mostly on her childhood experiences, which continued to trouble her throughout her life.

Her most famous quote is, "There is a young girl in me who refuses to die." I have loved this quote for many years, and apparently it means a lot to many other people, too, as I have seen this line quoted any number of times both on the Internet and in books.

Today I had lunch with a friend of mine, John, an immigration attorney whom I've known for about 15 years. We were talking about how now that we're older, we somehow feel like we're better versions of our younger selves. I excitedly confessed to John that I still have the same Lebensfreude or joie de vivre that I had when I was a naive twelve year old!

We both laughed and then I quoted Tove Ditlevsen, that "There is a young girl in me who refuses to die." I hope I always feel this way. It's a good feeling, and also, I believe that it sets a healthy example for my kids. Isn't it sad to see so many young people so desperate and jaded? Look around on Facebook or Myspace to see what young people are up to, what they think and their general Weltanschauung. It's not inspiring. I'm hoping against hope to offer my own kids an alternative way to deal with life. Also, one of my fondest dream is to be able to complete a young adult novel I had started writing, which is about a small group of teenagers who resolve their problems creatively. And hilariously! I'd better get back to that writing...this is my public declaration that I'm gonna get that book finished! LOL

Best Wishes,

Jen :)

Too Young to Drive!

2010-08-31T12:23:00.000-07:00

Here's Little Charles at the park in his new electric car. My husband insisted on buying it, against my wishes. It seems to me that someone who is just over 2 1/2 years old is too young to drive, but my husband was not swayed by this argument. Fortunately, it only goes three miles per hour. Also, it's probably good practice for when he starts driving real cars, even though it'll be about 14 years before he's eligible to get a driver's license. Well, that's lots of time to practice!

Best Wishes,

Jen :)

Save-A-Lot

2010-08-24T21:44:00.001-07:00

Last week I was talking to a Chapter 7 Trustee whom I really respect about the economy. He thinks we're in an actual depression as opposed to a recession. I told him he's probably right! He's usually right, because he is, indeed, very, very smart!

It's a scary thought that we might be back to those "Brother can you spare a dime?" times of the Great Depression that my late father talked about incessantly. I was lucky to grow up with some of that Depression mentality, and I've learned (and keep learning as a bankruptcy attorney) that it's never a bad time to be conservative with one's money.

Besides, who doesn't appreciate a good bargain? For example, I am a big fan of the Goodwill. You would never believe some of the paintings I have found there--I am an avid art collector--people see some of the paintings and assume I have purchased them at high prices from costly galleries. But no, most of my paintings are truly from the Goodwill--people just don't realize what they're giving away.

Another place for good bargains is Deseret Industries, the Mormon thrift shop chain. It is wonderful for clothes, particularly maternity clothes and children's clothes. All the Deseret Industries stores are as organized and clean as regular department stores. What can I say? Deseret Industries is the epitome of Mormonly perfection!

There is also a Midwestern grocery store chain that I recently realized has a store out here, right in Southern California. It is called Save-a-Lot and I know it from Springfield, Illinois. Never thought I'd see one out here, but I was sure happy to find it! The groceries (the store carries its own brands) are priced about 40% lower than regular grocery stores. You can't find everything there, so I still make bi-weekly trips to Whole Foods and Trader Joe's, but Save-a-Lot is great. Just the other day I purchased two weeks worth of staples for only $80.00. Astounding! I couldn't have bought this much stuff at Whole Foods for less than $400.00.

There were mostly Hispanic people shopping there, but I saw a few Anglos, too, standing out vividly from the Hispanic majority. One of them met my eye and said, "Why should the Hispanics be the only ones who can buy cheap groceries? I have four kids!" I agreed with her wholeheartedly. Good shopping practices, like all good habits, are color-blind. LOL

Best Wishes,

Jen :)

Sex, Lies and Anthropological Monographs

2010-08-12T12:23:00.000-07:00

In the 1920s, American intellectuals were fascinated by the idea of a "natural human," Rousseau's idealized man, one who was simple and good, untainted by Western civilization.

In 1925, Margaret Mead had just completed her Master's Degree from Columbia University. Her faculty advisor and mentor, Franz Boas, was deeply convinced that any sort of genetic determinism was wrong--he was convinced that humans were born free of any behavioral programming, and were instead programmed by their cultures to behave as they did.

Ms. Mead* went to Samoa in 1925, wanting to establish once and for all that there were idyllic, primitive cultures different from anything found in America. Since Mead, perhaps in part to please her mentor, Franz Boas, so desperately wanted to prove that such a culture existed, it is no surprise that she found just such a place in Samoa.

Ms. Mead also had strong leanings towards casual sex, both heterosexual and homosexual--she was known to have had affairs with women--it is therefore also no surprise that Ms. Mead found sexual liberty in Samoa, long before the "Sexual Revolution" got underway in the "civilized" world.

Her bestselling book on the expedition, Coming of Age in Samoa, published in 1928, depicts a society with values diametrically opposed to those prevalent in America at that time. There are some who would say that Ms. Mead, through this anthropological monograph, helped to launch the Sexual Revolution.

In fact, among the most important (and controversial) of the differences between Samoans and Americans that Ms. Mead said she'd found was the following:

That Samoans were very casual about all kinds of sexual behavior--both premarital as well as homosexual.

Actually, this finding (and others) turned out to be completely false. Derek Freeman, wrote a book entitled Margaret Mead and the Samoans demonstrating how every one of Mead's observations about the Samoans was dead wrong. It was not simply a matter of her interpretations, but of her facts.

Freeman cites police records of violent crimes, Samoan testimony about their society's preoccupation with rank and competition, their violent jealousies, and their murderous preoccupation with chastity in unmarried girls.

He also used the first person testimonies of many Europeans and Americans who showed that in every instance the reality of Samoan life was the opposite of Mead's portrayal.

The Talmud states that we see the world as we are, not as the world is. It is easy to believe what we want to believe, to see what we want to see. But I believe that the essence of mental health is to see things as they really are and to work within those boundaries.

Forty is not the new thirty, and white is not the new black. The wheel cannot be re-invented--just ask the U.S. Patent Office! LOL

But seriously, there is so much misinformation out there. Even if the misinformation is spread with good intentions, it is still misleading and untrue, influencing others to take their lives in directions they perhaps never should go. And I resent this...I want to read and experience what's true and authentic, not some one's political fantasy life. Otherwise, and archaeological monograph like Ms. Mead's just becomes a fanciful diary.

Best Wishes,

Jen :)

*She later earned her Ph.D., and was known as Dr. Mead, but in 1925, she had not received this academic title.

Happy Friday!

2010-08-06T05:07:00.000-07:00

Happy Friday, everyone! Hope you have lots of plans for a fun and relaxing weekend. We will be hiking, horseback riding, swimming, and watching Laurel and Hardy movies. We'll follow all of this up with more hiking. Sounds kind of manic, doesn't it? LOL

Best Wishes,

Jen :)

Born That Way?

2010-08-03T12:48:00.000-07:00

My friend Andrew Smyth, pictured here in a childhood photo with his identical twin brother, David, has a lot to say about genes and heredity. Andrew and David are involved a few twin registries, and academic studies that continue to try and figure out the effects of heredity on almost every conceivable area of one's life.

Genes and Heredity by Andrew Smyth

The human genome was fully sequenced about 10 years ago. Insights and discoveries based on this accomplishment are increasing everyday.

One disconcerting discovery, it seems likely, will be that genetics control who we are to a much greater degree than ever imagined.

In the past studies of identical twins raised apart showed that their IQ scores and other behavioral traits were much more similar than siblings raised together. This was true of fraternal twins who looked so alike that they were misidentified as "identical"---these fraternal twins were no more alike than ordinary siblings.

Other studies have shown that adoptees have IQs similar to their biological parents---and that by the time these adoptees grow up there is no correlation with their adopted families.

Based on this it seems genes are at least twice as important as environment.

This idea is disconcerting to some people. It challenges our idea that "all men are created equal." Now of course that phrase did not originally mean all people were equal in intelligence or looks or character---it only meant that all people deserved an equal chance and equal treatment under the law.

However in this increasing egalitarian society it is "politically incorrect" to say that all people are not really equal, and that there are large differences in society that are mainly caused by the genetic hand of cards we were dealt at birth.

A little bit of thought will show why IQ must be largely genetically based and why there must be individual differences. Evolution works by selecting the people who are most fit to pass on their genes in greater numbers than the less fit. Unless intelligence was based on genes and unless different individuals had different endowments of these genes--natural selection would not work. Homo sapiens would not have shown an increase in intelligence and brain size over the last 500,000 years.

More disconcerting than the idea that individuals are limited (or enabled) by their genes is the idea that there are (average) racial differences based on different distributions of genes between different populations. This is the most politically incorrect topic imaginable. Because of the crimes of the Nazi's and racial discrimination that average person will dismiss such an idea out of hand.

But like it or not the genome project may support the idea that some races have an advantage in certain types of competitions. The most obvious is the sprinting ability of people of West African descent. In the United States the top 10 fastest sprinters are all Black, yet Blacks only make up 12% of the population. A fair minded assessment of this would grant that a genetic explanation or a partial genetic explanation is reasonable. But, again, to even express such an opinion is to be labeled a racist.

Even more "verboten" is the idea that some forms of intellectual ability are more prevalent in some populations.

People of East Asian descent tend to score higher on the math part of the SAT than on the verbal part, and to score (overall) about 6 points higher on IQ tests. This difference in scores seems to appear on all types of IQ test results for Chinese, Koreans and Japanese. Is this only cultural? The difference, i.e. average verbal scores and high math scores, also occurs for children of Korean descent, who were adopted as babies by Europeans or White Americans. Other groups of Asian (ultimately) descent such as American Indians also show this "imbalance" in scores. (It is not really an imbalance---IQ tests were normed on white American kids and were made to come out so that the average child had the same verbal and math score. Had the tests been normed on Asians it would be the whites that had the "imbalanced" scores).

This result cannot be explained by discrimination or culture --- East Asians score higher on IQ tests designed by Whites. It seems that some genetic difference could be part of the explanation.

All of this would matter little (but would still be of academic interest) if we truly had a "color blind" society. But we don't. Some elite prep schools require kids of Asian descent to score higher for admission in order to maintain a "balance".

Andrew Smyth

Well, wasn't that interesting? Who better than an identical twin to address some of these difficult (and politically incorrect) questions? Clearly, heredity plays a much larger role in determining the course of our lives than one could ever imagine. It's a little disconcerting, however, to think that the successes and victories we have in this life might be due to a good genetic draw rather than due to our own herculean efforts.

Best Wishes,

Jennifer :)

Early Morning Hikes with Little Miss Fitness & Friends

2010-07-30T06:53:00.000-07:00

It's easy to wake up at 5:00 a.m. if you have beautiful scenery like this to look forward to. We are lucky enough to live in the foothills with these beautiful trails just a block away from our front door. My hiking buddy, Linda, pictured here in the red hoody, comes with me every morning for an early hike. It's so much fun! I always bring Little Miss Fitness (my dog Chacha) along with us. There are always lots of rabbits and birds out at this time of morning, and Chacha loves to try and chase them. There are also coyotes out and about at this time of morning, so she's always on a very short leash. Gotta keep my little friend safe!

Happy Trails!

Jen :)

The Mommy Necklace

2010-07-28T12:15:00.000-07:00

Isn't this necklace beautiful? It's especially beautiful to me because of the symbolism. Wearing it, even when I have to be away from my babies, I feel somehow connected to them. The tags state their names on one side, and on the other side, their birthdates are engraved, along with the words, "dear son." And, of course, there are their birthstones, which add to the symbolism and are very pretty in and of themselves.

I bought this through a company I found online, called "Heart and Stone Jewelry." They specialize in these sort of necklaces--the owner, artist Julie Booras, makes and designs everything herself. If I have more kids, I'll have to get more tags, and the necklace might get too heavy! LOL

Best Wishes,

Jen :)

Craigslist

2010-07-27T07:32:00.000-07:00

Craigslist is a centralized network of online communities, featuring free classifieds for jobs, sales, and housing, plus discussion forums and personals. Well, I am only intersted in the classified ads of things that are for sale. I once bought a bookshelf from Craigslist, and more recently, I found this nice jogging stroller that my boys are sitting in in the above picture. It retails for $480.00 but I bought it from a woman who had received two of the same strollers for her baby shower, and wanted to sell one. She sold it to me for $180.00 dollars. A $300.00 savings! Can't beat that!

Best Wishes,

Jen :)

More Studio Portraits from Target

2010-07-26T12:57:00.000-07:00

Here are some new studio portraits we had taken at Target this past weekend. Aren't they cute? There were two "themes" going on. A beach setting and a Harley Davidson setting. Throughout the year they have promotional settings at the various Target Photo Studios. We have these studio portraits taken every couple of months. Well, if that's a little exaggerated, I can only say that we love our children very much! We waited so long to be parents that we are enjoying every minute of it and we're quite sentimental about our children. :)

Bronze Baby Shoes

2010-07-23T13:02:00.000-07:00

Children outgrow their shoes so quickly! Little Charles outgrew his cute little sneakers that were my very favorites. They were made by a company called "See Kai Run." I would have saved them as hand-me-downs for our new baby, J.P., but they were a little worn for that. What's a frugal yet sentimental mom to do? I had them bronzed!

A wonderful company I found online called "Memories in Bronze" did it for me. I think they did a wonderful job!

Best Wishes,

Jen :)

Down By The Riverside

2010-07-21T14:59:00.000-07:00

Well, I hope you're "enjoying" this heat! The only way to fit in any outdoor activities such as trail rides or hiking is to do them either really early in the day, or in the evening. Here we are out on a morning trail ride before it got too hot.

We have to think of our animals, too, in this heat. A couple of days ago I took Chacha for a hike towards the middle of the day but she tired out quickly in the heat and I had to carry her down the mountain. She's not so heavy, but I had Little Charles in a hiking backpack, kicking me with every step! Even these sturdy little ponies have their limits. So we went down to the river to let them cool off a bit. :)

Best Wishes,

Jen :)

The Father of Gymnastics and Mommy and Me Gymnastics Class

2010-07-17T22:34:00.000-07:00

Every Saturday, Little Charles and I do a mommy and me gymnastics class at a local college. It's such fun! I've always valued basic gymnastics skills like being able to do a handstand, the splits, a back bend, etc. We humans have probably tumbled, leaped, and swung from branches since our earliest days. Ancient Greeks and Romans developed gymnastic programs for military conditioning and as part of a conditioning regime for athletes.

We don't often think about it, but modern gymnastics were largely invented in the 19th century by a Friedrich Ludwig Jahn, known as "Turnvater Jahn," which basically means "Gymnastics Father Jahn." Jahn was an outspoken German populist, who taught high school, which is coincidentally called "Gymnasium" in German.

Turnvater Jahn developed early models of the balance beam, parallel bars, vaulting horse and horizontal bar. Jahn was active in efforts to free Germany from Napoleonic rule. He organized the Turnverein, a gymnastic association, to build strength and fellowship among young Germans of all social classes. Jahn wrote a number of books on his social views. It seems he was a very intense person!

Pictured above left is a little known monument to Turnvater Jahn in Forest Park, located in St. Louis, Missouri, a city that has deep German roots. Next time I fly into St. Louis en route to see my mother-in-law in Springfield, Illinois, I'm going to stop at Forest Park to see this monument.

There's another Turnvater Jahn monument, pictured above right, that I also want to visit someday, located in Cleveland Ohio's German Garden together with statues of other memorable Germans like Goethe and Schiller.

One day when I visit these Jahn monuments I may just be inspired to launch into a spontaneous tumbling routine! LOL

Best Wishes,

Jen :)

Griffith Park

2010-07-14T11:07:00.000-07:00

Not a weekend goes by that we don't go to Griffith Park. Before we became parents I only went there for hiking purposes. It has over 50 miles of trails through thousands of acres of natural terrain--if you look around while hiking you'd never believe you were in the middle of the city. It is about five times the size of Central Park in New York City. If you are interested in hiking in Griffith Park you might want to check out the following website ww.simpsoncity.com/hiking/griffith/index.html. Lots of good information by an enthusiastic Angeleno hiker!

Nowadays, we go there for the pony rides and the miniature steam train. There's also a merry-go-round and a really nice play area for kids that Little Charles is crazy about. When I tell him we're going to the park, he says, "Oh, the train." Other people who have grown up in Los Angeles have fond memories of Griffith Park, too. Here's an excerpt of a letter my friend Andrew Smyth sent me:

"Griffith Park is the largest municipal park in the US. For someone growing up in LA it holds lots of memories.

One of my first memories was going ride the horses. I remember picking the horse that was suppose to go fast. I could not help bouncing down as the horse went up. No matter how I tried to coordinate my up and down with the horses movements I would be going the wrong way.

I did like riding the miniture steam train. Because my dad was a tool and die maker I knew that the train had a real miniture steam engine and was something special.

I think my knowledge of stuff like that let me enjoy Travel Town on the north side of the park. I was about 8 years old and the Korean war was just over. And they had a real MIG figher---the North Korean communist fighter, and a Sabre Jet. I have two vivid memories of what my dad told me and showed me. First he showed me that the workmanship on the Sabre Jet was better; on the MIG you could see where someone had hammered on rivits to make them smoother--while the American Jet looked perfect. But the second thing that kind of upset me was to hear that the MIG could climb higher than the American plane.

I have gone on many hikes from Fern Dell to the Observatory and even to the Hollywood sign. The first time was with the Cub Scouts. And the last time was last week with my wife and two of my sons.

I think I appreciated the hikes when I was an adult more. You can feel you are in the middle of the mountains or desert and nowhere near a big city---when in fact you are in the middle of a big city.

I remember school trips to Fern Dell and the teacher tell us this was what the Earth was like millions of years ago when there were only Ferns and big dragonflys---it was real easy when you were only 8 years old to imagine that you are walking in that ancient world.

During the hike we pass the Observatory. The architecture there is "Art Deco"---I think that is what people in the thirties thought the future would look like---It's kind of the decor from a Flash Gordon movie.

As a child I remember looking out at the LA skyline at night and seeing the carpet of the city lights stretching for miles. We would look to see the longest straight street---I think it was either Western or Vermont--it seemed to go on until it was over the horizon. I would put a nickle in the telescope during the day, or even at night, and could find my neighborhood by seeing the flashing "Carnation Sign" at Highland and Wilshire---it looked really small and far away.

I remember attending shows at the Planetarium with my school class (kind of like James Dean did in "Rebel Without a Cause"). (I often pointed out to European visitors I took to the Observatory where the knife fight in Rebel Without a Cause was filmed). At one such show the speaker did a good job at explaining how big the universe was and how the Milky Way Galaxy was only a very small fraction of the universe. He said something like, "The size of the Universe shows how insignificant we are and the Earth is." For some reason it did not upset me, it made me feel good.

Every kid in LA remembers the big swinging ball at the entrance that proves (they said) that the "Earth spins under the Ball."

Other memories of Griffith Park include driving a car as fast as I could down the road from the Observatory. Cars were not made as well then and this experience could burn out brake linings in one go. (But I could change brake linings on old cars with drum brakes).

Griffith Park was a good place to take a date before going miniature golfing. It was also a place where you might see "everything you ever wanted to see or know" about sex---although on those occasions when I stumbled upon something going on I tried to walk away non chalantly---or pretend I didn't see anything.

I'm sure I will remember more stuff. Griffith Park hold many fond memories for every kid who grew up in LA."

Best Wishes,

Jen :)

It's a Long Way to the Fort Worth Stock Show!

2010-07-13T11:36:00.001-07:00

My toddler, Little Charles, is fascinated by horses, or "horsies" as he likes to say. He tells us that he's a cowboy! Maybe his interest in horses has some genetic basis--my mother-in-law had a pony when she was a child, and I also used to ride. I started LC riding at pony rides when he was about 6 mos. old and could sit up by himself. I'd usually walk next to him to prop him up as he sat on the pony. His feet still don't reach the stirrups, and he'd much prefer a cowboy hat to the helmet I insist that he wear. But I feel he'll be a good enough horseman soon enough to compete at the Fort Worth Stock Show--not roping cows, or anything.LOL They have leadline classes for children eight and under. If you've never seen a leadline class, they're incredibly cute!

Nowadays Little Charles rides a couple of times a week at a local stable and has one lesson per week. Here he is on Sparky, a sweet and patient little Welsh pony. The other day I led LC along a trail for four miles, walking alongside Sparky, while LC waved at passersby! I hope our new baby, J.P., will like horsies too!

Best Wishes,

Jen :)

Little Fools

2010-07-08T17:03:00.001-07:00

There's a children's clothing store called "Naartjie", that sells the cutest clothes imaginable--casual with a slight European flair. When I first bought an outfit for my baby there, my husband asked me, "Why do you have him dressed up like a German?"

Anyway, I thought the name of the store sounded really cute. I thought it would be of Dutch or Afrikaans origin--their diminutive suffixes are -tje and -tjie respectively--linguistic cousins to the German -chen. In German, "Naar" means "fool." So many words in Dutch and German are the same or very similar--I thought then, that the name "Naartjie" would mean "little fools."

I looked it up, though and it turns out that "Naartjie" is a South African citrus fruit, and the word is Afrikaans and is originally from the Tamil word "nartei" meaning citrus. Nevertheless, when I hear the name, I always think "little fools!"

Best Wishes,

Jen :)

You Live Where?

2010-07-06T13:04:00.000-07:00

One of my friends, Jaime (fake name), sold his house recently due to a divorce. Around the time of the sale of the house, someone gave Jaime this motor home. Don't look a gift horse in the mouth, as they say! So, rather than use the proceeds of the sale to buy another property, Jaime decided to move into the motor home, and park it in the lot behind his shop. A lot of people think this is a strange thing to do, but I think it's great! What can I say? It's saving Jaime money while he decides where he wants to buy his next house.

Jaime's neighboring shopkeeper, Pablo (fake name), recently let his apartment go and is living in his shop. That's not exactly legal, but who can blame him in these tough economic times? His living space is somewhat limited at his shop, and there is no shower, so he showers every day at the local gym. Or at least that's what he says he does! LOL

If you are faced with losing your house, there are worse things than living in an RV or at your place of business. None of us ever really knows what the future holds, and we would all do well to be flexible while considering our options for the future carefully.

Best Wishes,

Jen :)

Aquarium of the Pacific

2010-07-05T22:19:00.000-07:00

I love the Aquarium of the Pacific. Most people just refer to it as "The Long Beach Aquarium," because it's located in Long Beach. There are other Aquariums in Southern California, such as the Cabrillo Marine Aquarium in San Pedro, which features outdoor tide pools. I remember it fondly from my own childhood.

The Long Beach Aquarium is located where the old amusement park, The Pike, used to be. Some rough characters used to hang out at the Pike! Across the street from the Pike was a field where Gypsies (they call themselves Romany) used to camp. My dermatologist and I were talking about our memories of the Pike and the Gypsy camp some time ago, and how Long Beach has changed over the years. Some of the Romany were his patients in the 1970s. Neither of us could say where they went when the Pike closed up shop and Long Beach became a more desirable area.

Well, I digress. The Aquarium is very nice. It's also very small, but every square foot is put to good use. It's an architectural masterpiece, considering how they put so many exhibits in such a small space. For little kids, like my favorite toddler, Little Charles, this is a good thing, as we can spend a couple of hours there, and nobody gets too tired or cranky.

There is even a small seabird exhibit, which is very beautiful. Another bird exhibit, a lorikeet enclosure, lends a slightly discordant note to the aquarium theme, as lorikeets are not seabirds, but the enclosure is well kept, and you can feed the lorikeets for a small fee--they will perch on your wrist or shoulder if you have food in hand!

Our visit was a lot of fun! But today was perhaps not the best day to go, as it was very crowded. Half of Long Beach seemed to be there--we almost got trampled!LOL

Best Wishes,

Jen :)

Andrew Smyth's Views on American Independence

2010-07-04T12:47:00.000-07:00

One of the best things about being an attorney is that you get to meet a lot of people. Some of them are very interesting and become lifelong friends. Like Andrew Smyth, pictured here with me in March at my baby shower. Now I am not fat in this picture--I was 8 mos. pregnant!

Anyway, Andrew is truly incomparable, and very much his own person. When I first saw him in court in the early 1990s I knew we'd be friends one day! At that time I was doing a work-study program in the Bankruptcy Court. A couple of years later when I started my own practice, we met and did indeed become friends!

Since it's the 4th of July, we were talking about different meanings of independence. Here's an e-mail Andrew sent me:

After my first trip to Ireland when I was 16 I understood what people meant by "the atmosphere of freedom" in the United States.

I visited one cousin in Donegal, a rural county in Ireland. He had made a radio controlled model plane but he was afraid to fly it. He also said he would like to built a motorized go cart and race it on the roads. But he said he could not do either of these activities because all the neighbors would say, "There's Myles, unmarried at 28, and playing with children's toys still."

Later when I visited Korea I saw how it seemed the most important thing for everyone was to fit in---to be one of the group and not stand out at all.

Even though Ireland and Korea are both democracies it seems that a person's day to day freedom is those countries is socially restricted as much as if they lived in a dictatorship.

In America it is ok to be an individualist. Here if we say, "He's his own man", or "She does her own thing" it is sort of a compliment. In Asia and most other countries it is a criticism.

But isn't this exactly what freedom is?, To be able to "do your own thing" as long as it does not harm others?

Some parents thing their children should take pills prevent "attention deficit" disorder. Maybe this is not a disorder, but just an individual difference. Boys are diagnosed with "ADD" more often---but isn't this just a case that it is difficult to get a 9 year old boy to sit still for an hour listening to some adult talking. Why can't we just accept this type of individual difference.

A more recently discovered "disorder" is "social anxiety disorder" also called excessive shyness.

Why can't we accept that this is not a "disorder"----there are very shy people and people who can't pay attention for an hour---fine, it's a big world and there's room for all of them. In fact there's more than room, it is good that they exist just like each of us exist with our own idiosyncrasies.

Myself I know that I talk and tell stories far more than the average person. I think it is a trait I have had since being a young child. I remember my mother telling me I talked so much that I would run out of words by the time I was 18 years old. I was so young when she told me that that I worried it was true. Well, so far I have not run out of words.

I also know that I like types of music that only a small minority like, and I am interested in subjects that few other people are interested in. If I could take a pill and change all this to be "the same as everyone else" I would never do it. I like being "a little odd" or a little different.

Once when I had to stay on a mountainside in the snow overnight with an injured climber, he said to me, "I know a lot of people say you're a bit strange, but you're ok with me." The statement that I was considered a bit odd actually made me feel kind of good---I never wanted to be just like everyone else.

I have a little of the feeling that "the more I am like everyone else the less I exist (as a separate person)".

Thank goodness that in America it is acceptable to be different. I have heard that in Holland their is a similar social freedom; but I believe that in most of the rest of Europe there is less of "an air of freedom" than in America." Andrew

Well, as always, you can take Andrew's advice and observations straight to the bank!I have to say, having spent a significant amount of time in Germany, that there is less social freedom there than here. On one hand, you do kind of have the freedom FROM other people who are doing their own thing. On the other hand, you yourself are restrained in so many ways that we as Americans take for granted here.

Happy 4th of July!

Jen :)

You Don't Own Me!

2010-07-02T06:48:00.000-07:00

As a bankruptcy attorney, many of my clients come into my office desperate because they believe that their creditors own them. Well, let me tell you--that's not true! Slavery was abolished in this country with the Thirteenth Amendment in 1865. So no human being, company, or government agency can own you. Cash Call cannot own you. American Express cannot own you. Citibank cannot own you. Not even the IRS can own you. You are a free person.

If your creditors are pressuring you, you just might want to tell them, "You don't own me!"

Of course, "You Don't Own Me," is the title of a song that was originally recorded by Leslie Gore in 1964, and later recorded by Klaus Nomi, a German national, in 1981, two years before he died of AIDS in 1983. I prefer this latter version to the original. It is sung in Mr. Nomi's heavily accented English. You can tell that Mr. Nomi is a Bavarian (Southern German), even when he sings in English. His Southern accent is that strong! Anyway, this latter version is more emotional, even bordering on shrill. The mood that Mr. Nomi portrays makes the song very funny yet sad and poignant. Here is an excerpt of the lyrics:

Excerpt from You Don't Own Me Lyrics

You don't own me, don't try to change me in any way
You don't own me, don't tie me down 'cause I'd never stay

Oh, I don't tell you what to say
I don't tell you what to do
So just let me be myself
That's all I ask of you

A-a-a-nd don't tell me what to do
Oh-h-h-h don't tell me what to say
And please, when I go out with you
Don't put me on display

Other people have recorded the song since, but to me only the Klaus Nomi version sufficiently reflects the hurtful emotion and angst of a trapped person who wants to be free.

Best Wishes,

Jen :)

Little Miss Fitness @ Home

2010-07-01T08:04:00.000-07:00

Recently, DH and I were sitting outside and watching Chacha, our little dog, lounge in the sun. Sometimes she'd get up and patrol and perhaps bark at pedestrians who were walking by. We love this dog and our whole family is completely dedicated to her. We make sure she gets to hike in the hills every day, which she loves to do. She is a very active dog, hence her nickname, Little Miss Fitness. She looks pretty good for 13 yrs. old, doesn't she?!!!

It's very spiritually rewarding to have found this older dog through the rescue and to have brought her into our family. She has changed so much (for the better!) since we got her. My husband often says that she's a totally different dog these days. Well, the difference is that she's happy! We do what we can to keep her happy. :)

Best Wishes,

Jen