Pierced Body Parts, Publicity, and the Law

A woman is publicly claiming through her lawyer that the airport security officers in Lubbock, Texas snickered at her nipple piercing and ordered her to remove the piercing with pliers.

Naturally, she wants a public apology. I think the key word here is "public", meaning that the potential litigant, along with her attorney, want publicity, followed by money, of course.

Her lawyer, a rabblerouser of sorts, is getting ready to throw her dunce cap into the ring with another one of those frivolous lawsuits she's famous for filing. This woman is so strongly addicted to being in the public eye that when she invited O.J. Simpson's frightened children to the theater right after their mother was brutally murdered, she arranged for the papparazzi to appear and photograph her with those poor kids, who should have been shielded as much as possible from the public eye.

(Incidentally, this attorney spoke at the commencement ceremonies at UCLA Law School the year before I graduated. She got up to the podium and bragged about herself for about a half hour. Yes, folks. That was her speech.)

Well, back to the boob story...

In my experience,most people who have unusual body parts pierced, or dress or style their hair in a certain way are not the shy and retiring types. They wish to be noticed--even if sometimes their unusual appearance elicits ridicule.

And what's wrong with asking her to remove her nipple piercing so that she can pass through the metal detector? What's all this emphasis on pliers? Perhaps pliers were the proper implement to remove the piercing.

I think the potential plaintiff and her attorney keep mentioning pliers because the mind (or my mind at least) automatically makes the leap to how painful it would be to have one's nipples pinched with pliers. Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe I'm just a weirdo...

Anyway, my point is--the courts are for people to resolve their legitimate disputes. They are not an institution that exists for lawyers to shamelessly self-promote themselves, call press conferences and allow greedy plaintiffs to seek money in the form of a legal shakedown.

Charles Dickens wrote that "the law is a ass" and regrettably, sometimes this is true. However the law is not that big of an ass.

Life After Baby

I thought my life would change dramatically after Little Charles was born. Well,it has changed--but in a really good way and not all that dramatically.

After the three months of morning sickness were over, pregnancy was not really that taxing. I went swimming up until the night before I gave birth. What can I say? I do kind of have the constitution of a draft horse.

Charles is a very sweet baby and sleeps a lot. Even when he's awake, he's smiley and good natured. I carry him around in this papoose-like thing that leaves my hands free, and just chat with him (in German)as I go about my business. A couple of weeks ago I was walking the dogs, baby strapped to me, and a neighbor furtively approached me and said quickly, so DH couldn't hear, "That baby looks just like your husband, but I think he has your personality." I had to laugh, because I think this is true. I'm very calm (except sometimes at work) but DH tends to be somewhat more volatile.

The biggest change for both DH and me is that we're happier. Charles is just so cute! I wonder about these people who are so negative about parenting. "Oh, I was so tired, he didn't sleep through the night for the first two years!" Well, come on. It's not like these people gave birth to sextuplets. One baby doesn't seem to be that hard, but who can say. Everyone has a different threshold. Or perhaps reality just hasn't sunken in for me yet...(LOL)

Best Wishes,


Jen

St. Patrick's Day

When I think of Ireland I don't think of leprechauns or St. Patrick chasing the snakes away. While I wish I were a more conventional person, any mention of things Irish brings to mind the following:

Sinead O'Connor
Nancy Kerrigan
The paddywagon they used to haul my drunken grandpa away in;
That parade in Boston where they won't let the gays march;
Angela's Ashes;
The Shamrock shake.

I'm also reminded of a hilarious story about blackmail. One of my good friend's parents are Irish. His mother was an enterprising woman and more than a little devious. Before she emigrated to the United States, she had contact with a theater group called The Dublin Players. She apparently had some dirt on them because she blackmailed them for decades! My friend remembers the envelopes full of money that arrived in the mail like clockwork every month.

Although St. Patrick's Day has little cultural or religious meaning to me, I enjoy celebrating this holiday. Today I made corned beef and potatoes, with a cabbage salad. And iced green tea to drink. Perhaps that's not Irish, but it's green! Well, I wanted to keep with the theme and neither of us drinks alcohol--it's not like I could serve Irish beer. So I had to come up with some other suitable beverage.

Many holidays that we celebrate are far removed from their original significance, but that doesn't mean we can't enjoy them with our friends and family. To help us celebrate I bought some dyed green carnations and made some green candles especially for this occasion. (The candles are green courtesy of a green crayon I melted into the wax.)

If you celebrated this holiday I hope you enjoyed it! Our little family did.

Best Wishes,


Jennifer

Kinderspielgruppen

I was searching the internet last night for German playgroups and found something better than I expected...The Los Angeles chapter of the Goethe Institut (a German government sponsored cultural institute--you can find chapters of it worldwide) has a monthly children's meeting called the Kindermatinee. It looks like a sort of playgroup where kids and their parents can get together and speak German, check out German books and videos from the lending library, and then at the end of the day the Institut shows a children's movie in German.

I want so much for Little Charles to have a good education, and knowing a couple of foreign languages is definitely part that plan. A month old is probably a little early for playgroups and movies...but I want to go to the next Kindermatinee and get a feel for what it has to offer. Plus, I get lonely not having anyone with whom to speak German! And it's never too early for Little Charles to hear people around him (besides his mother) speaking German.

Best Wishes,


Jen

The Domestic Arts--Home-made Salad Dressings

I am an avid cook and a vegetarian (mostly) and found these cookbook-quality salad dressing recipes from one of my favorite websites, www.packham.n4m.org.

The website is run by Richard Packham, an ex-Mormon, who writes about the unresolvable problems within the LDS doctrine and the church's history, plus his own personal history and many domestic details, such as the recipes for home-made salad dressings that I've cut and pasted here as follows. Hope you find them as useful as I do.

My late father had one fool-proof salad dressing recipe--
2 parts olive oil
1 part vinegar
salt & pepper to taste.
Whisk to form an emulsion.

Now what could be easier than that? Well, expect for opening a bottle of purchased salad dressing... (LOL)

But here are Richard's recipes copied--with his permission--from his website:



Home-made salad dressings have several advantages over dressings bought at the grocery store:
They are much cheaper;
They are easy to make on the spur of the moment;
They do not contain the many chemicals and preservatives of commercial dressings;
They taste better.
All dressings should be chilled before serving. Store dressings in the refrigerator in covered containers. Since home-made dressings contain no special preservatives, make them in small quantities and use them promptly. If dressings separate, stir or shake before serving.
These recipes are only examples. With home-made dressings you should feel free to experiment with different flavors, herbs and ingredients.



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MAYONNAISE - FOOD PROCESSOR

Process 1 minute:
2 large egg yolks or one egg
1 T dry mustard
1/2 t salt
dash tabasco
1 T vegetable oil
2 T vinegar

While machine is running, drizzle in
(through the pinhole in the pusher)
1 1/4 C oil followed by 2 T vinegar or
lemon juice
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------RANCH DRESSING

Combine:
1 C mayonnaise
1 clove garlic, minced
2 T parsley flakes
1 green onion, minced
1/2 C buttermilk
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------BLUE CHEESE DRESSING

Mix well by hand:
1 C mayonnaise
1/4 C sour cream
2 T vinegar or lemon juice
2 t sugar
1/4 t dry mustard
1/4 t garlic powder
1/4 t onion powder
Crumble 2 oz blue cheese (or more), stir
into mayo mix
Chill several hours
(Substitute grated garlic and onion for
the powder)
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------THOUSAND ISLAND DRESSING

Combine well:
1 C mayonnaise
2 T tomato salsa or chili sauce
1/3 C milk
2 T sweet pickle relish
(1 hard-cooked egg, chopped fine)
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------NEW ORLEANS FRENCH DRESSING

1 C salad oil
1/4 C vinegar
3/4 t worcestershire sauce
3/4 t salt
1 t sugar
1/2 t prepared mustard
1 t paprika
1/2 t pepper
Mix well, chill
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------ITALIAN MAYONNAISE

1 hard-cooked egg, diced
1 C ricotta cheese
juice of 1/2 lemon
1/2 t dry mustard
1/2 t salt
1/2 t celery salt
1/2 t sugar
Put all ingredients in blender, process
until smooth
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------AVOCADO MAYONNAISE

Peel & chunk 1 avocado
1 large egg
3 T lemon juice
1 t prepared mustard
1/2 t salt
Process in blender until smooth
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------HAYES STREET GRILL ITALIAN

Whisk together:
1/4 C lemon juice
1/4 C red wine vinegar
2 t worcestershire sauce
1 t salt
1/4 t pepper
1 C olive oil
1/4 C fresh basil, chopped
2 T fresh parsley, chopped
3 cloves garlic, minced
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------ITALIAN PARMESAN DRESSING

Process in blender until well mixed:
1 1/3 C oil
1/3 C red wine vinegar
1 garlic clove, minced
1 T grated parmesan cheese
1 t salt
1/2 t sugar
1/4 t each oregano, basil, thyme
1/4 t ground pepper
pinch of red pepper flakes or cayenne
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------BASIC FRENCH DRESSING

1/2 C white vinegar
1 1/2 C oil
1 1/2 t salt
1 small sliced onion
2 t sugar
1/2 t each paprika, dry mustard
Process in blender until creamy, chill
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------CELERY SEED DRESSING

Shake in a jar or process in blender:
1 t salt
1 t dry mustard
1 t paprika
1 t celery seed
1/2 C corn syrup
1/2 C wine or cider vinegar
1 C oil
1 T grated onion
2/3 C catsup
Chill. Shake before serving
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

LOW CALORIE DRESSINGS
LOW CALORIE COOKED MAYONNAISE

2 eggs
1 t celery salt
1/2 t paprika
pinch dry mustard
juice of 1 lemon
4 T skim milk
1 T vegetable oil
Beat eggs, salt, paprika and mustard;
gradually beat in juice and milk.
Cook, stirring, over very low heat or in
top of double boiler until thick.
Beat in the oil.

(18 calories per tablespoon)
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------LOW CALORIE COOKED MAYONNAISE II

Combine:
2 T cornstarch
1 C + 2 T water
Cook, stirring, until thick. Cool.
Add:
1 T oil
1 T vinegar
1/2 t sugar or sugar substitute
1 egg yolk
1/2 t salt
1 T dry mustard
dash Tabasco sauce

(15 calories per tablespoon)
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------BASIC LOW CALORIE SALAD DRESSING

Blend 2 t cornstarch and 1 C water;
cook, stirring, until thick
Cool, then add and chill:
2 T lemon juice or vinegar
1 1/2 t sugar or sugar substitute
2 T oil
1 t prepared horseradish
1 1/4 t prepared mustard
1 t salt
1/2 t garlic powder

(19 calories per tablespoon; substituting vinegar and
sugar substitute, 17 calories; reducing oil to 1 T, 10 calories
per tablespoon)

Variations:
Substitute 1/2 t guar gum* for cornstarch; do not cook
(reduces calories by 1 per tablespoon)
Add 1/2 t paprika or ground pepper
Add 1/4 C catsup (adds 4 calories per tablespoon)
Add dried herbs (basil, oregano, thyme, summer savory)

*Guar gum is a handy natural thickener for soups, sauces
and gravies, requiring no cooking. It is generally available
at health food stores
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------LOW CALORIE RANCH DRESSING

Boil 1 C water
Combine 1/4 C water and 2 1/2 T cornstarch, add to pot
Cook until thick. Cool
Add:
1 T dry mustard
1/2 t salt
dash tabasco sauce
1 T vegetable oil
1 T vinegar
2 t dry parsley flakes
1/2 t onion powder
1/4 t garlic powder
1/4 t paprika
1/4 t ground pepper
1 egg yolk
1 t sugar substitute
1 C buttermilk

(12 calories per tablespoon)



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Comments? Questions? To send a comment or ask a question, click here: packham@teleport.com .

© 2008 Richard Packham Permission granted to reproduce for non-commercial purposes, provided text is not changed and this copyright notice is included


TO RICHARD PACKHAM'S HOME PAGE

Look out for Mr. Stork

All the many years I was trying to adopt and then later during my pregnancy, well meaning people would tell me how difficult it was to take care of a newborn. "I nearly lost my mind," said one woman who seemed to be a pillar of stability, which scared me a little.

Another woman said flatly, "It's a thankless job and I never would have done it had I known what it was really like." Yikes!

Maybe it's because I've waited so long and finally have one (he's on my lap right now, by the way) that I don't find taking care of Little Charles hard at all. In fact, it's a lot of fun and I feel privileged to be this little person's mom. DH and I thought he'd be a brunet like us, but he has blond hair like my mother-in-law. Otherwise he looks just like DH. And he smiles already, a rarity at one month old!

And so far I've been able to get some work done around the house too, because he sleeps a lot. I'm just finishing up a needlepoint project today, and I've also been doing some candlemaking. Well, more specifically, what I've been doing is melting down the stubs of old candles bains marie style, and pouring the melted wax into containers (mostly glass jars) into which I've placed a wick. More complicated projects will have to wait...

I vastly prefer beeswax over paraffin or gel, because it gives off such a characteristic, subtle scent. In former times, beeswax candles were reserved for the Church and for wealthy people--beeswax was too expensive for the average person to afford for everyday use. Most people probably made their candles at home out of tallow. Beeswax is still more expensive than other substances, but what can I say? I like it!

It's waste not want not around here, so I thought I'd mention that you can use the same technique with waning bars of soap--melt them as described above and pour the melted soap into soap or candy molds you can buy at any craft store. Small cookie or gelatin molds you probably have at home in your kitchen also work well for this purpose.

Little projects like these don't take too much time, so I still feel like I have a life, despite the stork's recent visit. However, in truth it's hard to get out of the house with a small baby in tow--but I have managed to take him to the library and to meet my old friends in the rest home. And we go on short walks with the dogs, with Little Charles sleeping in this papoose-like baby carrier that goes around my shoulders. But I'm gonna need a haircut someday, so I'll have to figure this out!

Best Wishes,


Jen