New Year's Resolutions

Happy New Year! The beginning of a new year often brings with it a resolve to change some hated aspect of one's life.

But how do we begin this upward spiral towards change?

Sometimes change occurs spontaneously, but I think most of us have to work hard to effect change in our lives.

Perhaps when we're able to change for the better in a lasting way, we've been able to look at ourselves with a certain reflectiveness. We see that what we've been doing no longer works for us, and subtle, often barely unnoticeable changes in action and behavior come about.

I'm sorry that so many New Year's resolutions have such an ephemeral quality about them. I am sure that most of us would dearly love to resolve the problems in our lives. But change is difficult. To acquire the habit of taking a good hard look at ourselves can be very painful! I believe it is one of life's great challenges to see ourselves as others see us.

But insight into our behavior can have a ripple effect. We can change things we don't like about ourselves, and simultaneously look for other possibilities. Sometimes just a fragment of an idea can, with foresight and perception, become a springboard to better circumstances and situations in our lives. Our insight into ourselves is part of our innate creativity.

While I don't have a specific New Year's resolution, I'm always trying to remember my capacity to change by using my own mind and my own efforts.

Best Wishes,


Jennifer

The Ghosts of Christmases Past

As a bankruptcy attorney, when I think of the ghosts of Christmases past, I usually think of the things people have purchased in their attempts to celebrate the holidays. Where are these gifts now?

Things like Cabbage Patch Kids, Giggling Elmos, Furbies, and iPods. Every year seems to bring forth a most popular toy that parents feel they must buy as proof of love for their children. People trample each other in shopping malls purchasing these mass-produced tokens of affection.

I was at Target yesterday to buy some art supplies and was nearly knocked over by a mother who wanted a set of markers for her son's Christmas present. She had a gleam in her eye when she apologized for nearly knocking me over. I don't think she was sorry--I think she was just glad she got that set of markers before anyone else! He he he!

But does buying a toy or a gadget make up for parental neglect or unkindness that goes on throughout the year? I don't think so.

It's nice to give and receive, but the consumerism of the holiday season is very negative.

Come January, people are facing huge credit card bills for Christmas purchases. Was it worth it? Are the kids still playing with whatever you bought them to secure their affections? Too often, the answer is no.

When my father was a little boy during the Depression, he and his sister each got a stocking with an orange and a jar of Bosco Sauce. (That's an old fashioned chocolate sauce) I'm not suggesting to give such meager gifts as my father received long ago--after all, it's not the Depression anymore! But still, my father was very happy with his gifts. Throughout his life, you could see in his eyes and hear in his voice how lovingly he remembered his Christmases as a child.

Perhaps instead of crowding the malls we could be writing letters, knitting sweaters and inviting people over to sing Christmas carols around the piano.

Doesn't it make you a little sad to picture all those Cabbage Patch Kids and Furbies at the bottom of landfills?

Have Yerself a Merry Little Christmas,


Jennifer