Grasp the Thistle Firmly

This morning I received an e-mail from a man who described himself as "a copyeditor who has been fruitlessly trying to track down a quotation."

He wanted to know if, by any chance, I knew the text from which this adage comes--I had attributed it to Sir Walter Scott.

I sure felt sheepish! No, I have absolutely no authority that Sir Walter Scott wrote this. I explained to the copyeditor that a doctor I knew had told told me this was from Sir Walter Scott. He was a smart guy, and very literate, so I just assumed...

The copyeditor wrote back,

"Ah, but recall the first rule of journalis: If your mother tells you she loves you, check it out!"

This really made me laugh. And I gess "Grasp the thistle firmly" is just an adage that I've improperly credited to Sir Walter Scott!

Best Wishes,

Jen

Making Sense of Mass Murder, Malice and Hope

I have re-printed an online article by pscyhiatrist Gordon Livingston regarding the Texas shooting, which is so disturbing to me and everyone I know. I hope you like it...it's worth reading, the best explanation I've read about this horrible mass killing. It seems unlikely that a high status doctor would commit a mass killing, but anyone can be an angry, aliented loner of the type Dr. Livingston writes about.

by Gordon Livingston Gordon Livingston writes and practices psychiatry in Columbia, MD. See full bio November 6, 2009, Law and Crime
Murder, Malice, and Hope

We are made uncomfortable by the radomness in our lives. When something terrible happens we search for explanations in the same way that primitive people did when puzzled by the complexity of the universe. Why does one person kill another, or 13 others? The fact that murder has always been a routine phenomenon of human existence does not dispel the horror that it implies or our desire to reassure ourselves that we are less likely to die this way if only we can understand the "motive" for such acts.

We can better grasp the idea of murder in certain contexts. We accept that jealousy, or greed, or hatred drives some people to kill. We expect a certain amount of killing on the streets of the inner city perpetrated by those with criminal records. What can be said of a mass murder by a high-status professional trained to help others?

The events in Texas are not unique. We don't have to look far to find plenty of examples of alienated loners who finally become so angry at their inability to get what they want from other human beings that they purchase a gun and start killing those who they see as being what they cannot be. Columbine and Virginia Tech come to mind as do, more recently, a Pittsburgh health club and an immigrant center in Binghamton, NY. Eighteeen years ago Killeen, Texas, nearby Ft. Hood, was the scene of one of the most deadly shootings in American history when George Hennard crashed his truck into a Luby's cafeteria and began shooting, killing 23 people and wounding 20. The fact is that we live in a murderous society. These mass killings are simply the worst examples. The United States has the highest homicide rate of any advanced democracy, nearly four times that of France and the United Kingdom. Still, guns are freely available and we, almost alone among the nations of the world, cling to the death penalty. Since 1976 more than a thousand people have been executed in this country, ironically a third of them in Texas.

Does the shooter's Muslim heritage explain this crime? Or, born and raised in Virginia, is he as American as the rest of us? He apparently lived his life at the lethal intersection of religion and politics, unhappy at the stories he was told by returning veterans of our wars in Iraq and Afghanistan. Is PTSD something a psychiatrist can catch from his patients like a virus? Or did his faith finally bring him to see his fellow soldiers as the enemy. "Allahu Akbar!" (God is great!) he is said to have shouted as he fired on unarmed men and women. One imagines these same final words on the lips of the 9/11 hijackers. Was this American doctor, who apparently wrote an Internet post sympathetic to suicide bombers, a terrorist?

I fear we will be disappointed in our search for a moral to this awful story, an answer that will allow us "to make sure this does not happen again." It will happen again, of course. (As I write this, it appears to be happening in Orlando.) All manner of hatred is abroad in the land. On the same day as the Ft. Hood massacre, thousands of our fellow citizens gathered at the Capitol to wave signs accusing the president of simultaneously being a Nazi and a Socialist and threatening to come armed next time.


We are all hanging by a thread. Any of us could be a victim of inexplicable violence perpetrated by someone with a festering grievance who loves death more than life. All we can do is contribute in our own way to maintaining a respect and tolerance for those who are different from us or disagree with us. The madmen and fanatics who populate the fringes of our world retain their random ability to hurt and horrify us. But they will not prevail.


Tags: american history, binghamton ny, cafteria, contexts, crime, deadly shootings, death penalty, ft hood, george hennard, greed, health club, highest homicide rate, human existence, inner city, killeen texas, loners, luby s, mass killings, mass murder, military, nearby ft, politics, psychiatry, society, virginia tech

Happy Veteran's Day

I was so disheartened by the shooting in Texas that our family didn't really have a Veteran's Day rememberance like we normally do. I am at a loss for words in the face of such tragedy.

Instead, we just had a nice day at home and I painted these pictures on our window. It was fun!

Best Wishes,

Jen

Yule Be Shopping!

Well, here it's right before Halloween and Christmas merchandise is already available for sale at pretty much every local department store!

I love the holiday season, too, but seeing Christmas decorations out so early in the year has kind of made me stop in my tracks. I'm trying to think of things our family can do to celebrate the winter holidays that don't involve excessive consumerism.

I do love to bake, so I'll probably do a lot of baking and give special holiday cookies to friends and neighbors. We may also paint our house windows with holiday scenes, just like retail stores do. This is a fun family activity that doesn't cost much...the tempera paints used for window painting are available at craft stores for very low prices, and you don't have to be much of an artist to paint stylized wreaths, Santas and reindeer. You could also tape a Christmas card or other illustration to the inside of the window you'll be painting and just copy it. I'm also trying to establish a Christmas eve dinner that will become a family tradition--last year's cassoulet wasn't tradition-worthy, but I'll find something this year for sure LOL! Doing things like this makes for memorable holidays and, well, it's not expensive, either.

Best Wishes,

Jen

The Dream House

I've been practicing Bankruptcy Law since 1995 and these days I'm seeing more clients facing financial challenges--including foreclosures--than ever. Perhaps you, too, are facing the loss of your home.

If so, I would like to say that I am sorry for the impending loss of your home. I think it's fair to say that going through foreclosure is never fun.

However, sometimes in life we really do need to "grasp the thistle firmly" as Sir Walter Scott once memorably said, and face some unpleasant realities in order to get back on track with life.

If you are about to lose your home you are probably stuck with a home worth far less than the mortgage(s) you owe against it, and your income is probably lower than it was when you initially purchased the house. If you concentrate on the finances of the situation, rather than the emotions, this may make it easier for you.

The lender won't send the Sheriff over to kick the door down and throw all your belongings out on the street--you will have at least a few months of not paying your mortgage prior to the foreclosure sale. Save your money carefully during this time, and maybe hold a garage sale if you don't think you'll be taking all of your possessions with you.

Above all, make arrangements to move somewhere that you can take your pets. Many landlords will permit you to keep a pet provided that you put down a special pet deposit.

I know lots of people who have had to let go of their "dream homes" for a variety of reasons, but they have still been able to be happy. I think that this is the most important lesson we can show our children--that it is possible to live in an uncertain world where bad things happen to good people, and still be happy.

Best Wishes,

Jen

The Power of Prayer

Here's an interesting article DH e-mailed me the other day. The article concludes that prayer does have some value!

MSN homeMailMy alth TopicsSymptom CheckerMedicationsMy Wellness CenterCommunity, Advice & ToolsHealthier Living
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Can Prayer Heal the Sick?
85 percent of physicians polled believed religion and spirituality (including prayer) have a positive influence on health and recovery.
By Robert Shmerling, M.D., Harvard Health Publications
It's an appealing and comforting thought. Friends, family and even total strangers pray for you when you're seriously ill. When you recover, you may be grateful for those prayers. But did they contribute to your recovery? How would you know? Is it a question even worth asking?

Does prayer work?

Praying on another person's behalf to improve their health is called "intercessory prayer." And, believe it or not, researchers have attempted to scientifically study its effects on health and recovery from disease. The results are intriguing:

A 1988 study found that when patients in the hospital with heart disease had prayers said for them, they had less breathing trouble and required less antibiotic therapy than otherwise similar patients for whom prayers were not said.
A study published in 1998 suggested that prayer improved the health of AIDS patients. Although those receiving prayers had no change in an important measure of immune function over the six months of the study, they did have fewer serious illnesses, fewer doctor visits and better mood than those who were not prayed for.
In 1999, patients in a Missouri intensive care unit recovered faster after prayers were said for them compared with those who did not have prayers said. This study was unique due to its size—nearly 1,000 patients—and neither the patients nor their doctors knew which patients had prayers said for them.
A 2001 study published in the Journal of Reproductive Medicine supported intercessory prayer for women who were infertile. In that study, women for whom others prayed became pregnant twice as often as those who were not the recipients of prayer.
Skeptics criticize these studies, suggesting that the study designs were flawed or that something other than prayer could explain the findings.

Several of the best studies of intercessory prayer in recent years have come to the conclusion that it doesn't work. For example:

A 2005 study from researchers at Duke University showed no benefit from distant prayers for patients undergoing high-risk heart procedures.
In 2006, perhaps the largest study of intercessory prayer to date showed no benefit of prayer for 1,802 heart bypass surgery patients. The complication rate was actually a bit higher for those who knew others were praying for them.
Does the answer matter?

The value of prayer is not something that scientific study can easily settle. Besides, the results are unlikely to change what people do. Here's why:

For advocates of prayer, the belief that it will work is enough for both the person praying and the person who is ill. And would or should a negative study stop believers from praying for others' health? This is about faith, not scientific proof.
Skeptics looking for scientific proof would probably not be convinced that prayer works even if studies found that prayer increased survival, speeded recovery or fended off disease. After all, such results would require a distinctly unscientific explanation—unmeasureable energy, supernatural phenomena or a religious explanation.
It's very difficult to maintain a good control group in studies of prayer. If assigned to the "no-prayer" group, a sick person, his family and religious strangers all over the world might still pray for him. If prayer truly is beneficial, such "uncontrolled" prayer might invalidate the study's findings.
It's possible that a study of prayer will find that it's harmful as the 2006 study of bypass surgery patients did. If future research confirms this finding, would doctors urge their patients, families, friends and religious groups to stop praying for the sick?
What if a patient died despite the prayers of family, friends and strangers? Would those who prayed blame themselves for not praying hard enough, long enough or well enough?
Prayer could be useless, but do you care?

It's natural for friends and family to hope for the best when a person is sick. To the extent that praying is an active expression of that hope, is it worth proving if it's worthwhile or not?

Doctors tend to do all they can to help patients and families maintain hope while also being realistic about the situation. Why should scientists go out of their way to scientifically analyze an activity that is nearly universal, defies logic or known scientific principle, and may discredit a source of hope?

Large, expensive studies to prove or disprove prayer seem to me a bit like trying to make a case that the chicken came before the egg. It's hard to see how the outcome of such a study could be useful, and it's unlikely to settle anything.

My guess is that when a person is ill, it may be comforting to know that others are praying for him or her. Similarly, people praying may feel that they are at least doing what they can to help.

A recent survey of more than 1,100 U.S. physicians found that 85 percent believed religion and spirituality (including prayer) had a positive influence on health and recovery. But, only 6 percent of these doctors believed it had any effect on the "hard" medical endpoints, such as speed of recovery or death. About three-fourths of these doctors thought religion and spirituality helped people cope and maintain a positive outlook. As you might expect, more religious doctors endorsed the value of religious resources, such as prayer, more readily than non-religious doctors.

The bottom line

Is the value of intercessory prayer a myth? Maybe it is. I doubt there will ever be consensus on how to answer this question. But I don't think that's such a problem.

Compared with many other unproven remedies, there is little cost or risk associated with prayer. And at the least, it provides some measure of comfort to both the people praying and the people they are praying for.

I believe that the decision to pray or not pray should be decided by individuals and those praying for them, not researchers. If I controlled the world's research funding, I'd spend it on something other than assessing the value of intercessory prayer. This will never be easily settled. And I'm not sure it should be.

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Jealousy and the Law

Well, this is a touchy subject, but one of my colleagues has a lot to say about it. Anonymously, of course...

"Males compete primarily in concerning power and money and intellect---all of which can make up for an average physical appearance.

Once in awhile I have seen a male judge who seemed to want to illustrate to a particularly intelligent attorney that he (the judge) is smarter or more learned than that attorney---and that the judge knows the case better than the attorney. (In fact, female judges do this too)

But my point is that in the field in which males primarily compete, ie intelligence, money, influence, and power any male attorney can, at least, imagine that he can improve to be equal to some other attorney.

This is not true in the arena in which females compete with other females---and that is feminine beauty including a pleasant voice. These are traits which are unchangeable.

I have seen very good looking women attorneys, some just out of lawschool, appear in front of a not so attractive female judge. I know who I look on as "superior" and "inferior"---and I know who it would be better to be. That's right, the great looking woman. Sometimes in such a situation it seems that the female judge is acting like the person in the subordinate position.

The bad thing is that the female judge may alter her opinion to "get back" at the good looking attorney.

When you have a jury (ie 12 judges) and the opposing Plaintiff or Defendant is a beautiful female the usual advice is to get as many (plain looking and unmarried) woman on the jury as possible---something I have tried and which has seemed to work (in getting a verdict against the good looking Plaintiff or Defendant.)

I have never seen a male judge who seems affected by the looks of the male attorney appearing before him.

There was one time I saw a male judge react jealously. But it was not the same situation as above. The judge was envious of the male defendants beautiful wife, in my opinion. Here's what happened.

When I had been a lawyer for a few years I was in front of an older judge trying to reinstate bail for a Black client who had missed a Court appearance.

He had an excuse that was likely to appeal to that judge---he was trying to make a job interview and then appear late for the Court appearance---but he managed to completely miss the Court appearance.

I was doing well and the judge seemed to be sympathetic---that is until I called forward this Defendant's beautiful young white wife (my client was Black) to put in a few good words. The judges jaw dropped as did his pen and he interrupted me and my witness. He started saying I was "trying to put someone over on him" and he remanded my client to custody.

Later an older lawyer told me "Don't discount jealousy in a court of law" and said I should not have brought forth the good looking wife. And he was right---it was jealousy, not racism. This judge did not seem to have a problem with Black men who had plain looking white wives and girlfriends.

(Jealousy doesn't influence a judges opinion as much as a juries in my opinion. And at the Appellate level, or in Courts where the judge must write an opinion along with his or her ruling jealousy has less influence---most judges want to write opinions their colleagues will admire and that is hard to do while straining to make the wrong side win.)"



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Well, that was some more wisdom you can take to the bank. "Don't discount jealousy in a court of law."

Most people never "graduate" emotionally from their junior high petty jealousy. In fact, things get worse--people are not competing for grades and boyfriends. They are competing for financial gain and spouses--the stakes are higher.

Even worse than bitter-eyed, jealous people in the legal field, are college professors--academics, they like to call themselves. They seethe with an almost palpable competitive rage and make up the most fantastic claims to further their careers. No wonder the Unabomber--himeself a former "academic"--lost his mind and went to go live in a shack!

Best Wishes,


Jen